Hmm, it's already 2am and i still can't find a way to sleep. I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep yet too lazy to go out. My mind keep processing things happen to me, analyze without stopping any second, Ahh..i hate this feeling, unsecure, unsure, all the "un" characteristic are coming inside my mind. I can't think any positive matters. My mind box are full with bad things, i seem can't recalled any of my sweet memories, any precious moments, or anything. Everything that came across my mind are remind me about how jinx i am. How unlucky i am, how sad i am, how mad i am, how fool i am. In fact, why i am the only one who's always ended up at the last place? I hate pretenders but i am pretend myself, pretend that i am happy with my life, myself and life.The truth is, i hate my life. I hate to pretend, it was too painful, it was to clownic and childish move for a grown up man like me. I hate to face the reality because it was too real for me. I am prefer to live in my lala land.
Oh dear god, hear my pray.I want happiness; a real one not a temporary, not a fake or for a moment only.Please give me a real happiness as i always wanted.Promise me u will give me one so that i can lead myself into a happy life.
I am just a grown up man running out of time
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