Kebenaran pada betul dan salah

Sy sendiri pun tak tau mcm mana nk saya mulakan pekara ni. dlm dunia ni ada byk benda yg benar yg telah disalah ertikn dan byk benda yg salah yg telah dihalalkn. Kepercayaan pada kebenaran dah semakin luput dalam hati manusia kerana kini, manusia lebih percaya dan berkiblatkn benda yg tidak benar lebih dari yg btul. Semakin ramai manusia yg telah hilang kebenaran dml diri. dari rasional, kini manusia lebih suka akn tindak tanduknya berpandukan emosional.

Byk benda yg telah berlaku yg sy sendiri tidak sedari bila tindak tanduk sy telah disalah ertikan. Apabila keperihatinan sy telah disalah tafsirkan dan kejujuran sy telah dipersoalkn. Adakah sy marah? Jawapannya tidak. Sy tak marah. Kenapa sy tidak ada sikit perasaan marah? Kerana sy adalah manusia yg masih berpegang kepada rasionaliti dan bukannya emosi. 

Kenapa ada manusia yg sering menyalahkn saya terhadap apa yg berlaku? kenapa masih ada manusia yg sering menyatakan sy punca segala- galanya? kenapa masih ada manusia yg masih lagi berpaksikan kepada kemarahan dan menghalakan kemarahannya kepada sy?

Persoalan- persoalan ini yg masih tiada jawapan dan jawapannya bukanlah akan membawa sy kepada kepenghujungan masalah tetapi ia akn lebih menambahkn kesengsaraan terhadap diri manusia yg berkata itu sendiri dan juga sy. 

Haruskah sy melayani setiap apa kata2 dusta yg dilemparkan kepada saya? haruskah sy mengikut kata hati  dan emosi untuk menjawap kepada persoalan yg timbul? hamburan kata2 dusta dan nista merata- rata dan masih bermain disetiap kepala manusia. Ada yg salah sangka, ada yg mula mrnghina dan tak kurang juga yg tidak percaya. Tetapi sy bersyukur, masih ada lagi individu- individu yg masih sudi mempercayai sy walaupun sy ini tidaklah sebaik yg disangka. Terima kasih sy ucapkan.

Adakah sy seorang manusia seperti mana yg digambarkan? saya tak boleh menjawap pertanyaan diri sy sendiri, saya msih lagi bergelut untuk membina kepercayaan yg telah hilang dan jika sy boleh menjawapnya, jawapan sy akn berunsurkan peribadi dan berat sebelah. Ini kerana sy menjawap pertanyaan yg diajukan kepada sy mengenai sy sendiri. Ramai yg akn ketawa dan ramai juga yg akn tersenyum smbil mengelengkan kepala menandakan tidak setuju. Kita manusia, tidak pernah terlepas dari hasutan syaitan sehingga kita sesama saling bermusuhan, mengata, mengeji dan juga tidak kurangnya berbangga diri sehingga kita jadi lupa akan diri kita.

Sy manusia, dan tidak sempurna. Sy juga tidak pernah terlepas dari membuat kesalahan kerana sy bukan seorang wali atau ulul'azmi yg tersimpang dari segala dosa dan senantiasa dlm keadaan suci. Oh tidak! akan tetapi, rasionaliti terhadap kebenaran masih menebal dan saya masih boleh lagi membezakan kebenaran yg betul dan kebenaran yg salah. 

Mcm yg selalunya saya ucap, pembangunan makin pesat, dunia bergerak begitu cepat, kebenaran makin tertutup rapat, kau dan aku pasti sesat, itukah tanda kiamat sudah dekat?

Asalamualaikum.

Nota untuk mashy.Sy rindu awk

I really dont know why but i feel really boring today. Got nothing to do,got nowhere to go. I felt at this point, my morale are dropping below par.Disgusted with myself, feel sorry for myself. 

Dear oh dear, where r u been missing? i miss you so much. This is my note for my deary mashy.

I know i may sound crazy but am writing you a note just like you still around for you to read. I miss u babe. I really do. Why you left me alone here in this empty 4 walls of world? why you took away my hapiness my dear? How r you? hope you doing fine up there. I just wnt to tell you that my birthday's around the corner. Am getting old.hehe ad as far as i remember, at this year we're supposed to get engaged right? we engraved our promises to be together until both of us aged 120th right? hehehe silly la u ni.mana la kite leh hidup lama tu plus ngn i smoking lagi. 

Another birthday and another year will passed me by and another same old me mashy.wish u cud see me get old. laughing at me, make fun of me because of my ages' numbers. Cake, candle & coke.oh how much i missed dat. No more cake since u're gone. I hated cakes more thn i hate jews. Today i wore shirt yg u kasi kt elly. heheheh silly la it looks. da lama gler tshirt ni. nasib muat lagi walaupun cm ketat sket. i drive around and sad u xdpt naik keta ngn i sesama. i ada pasang lagu b2m td. and td i drop by kt depan umh u. gelap jer xde org..huhuhu..xleh nk lelama nti guard patrol dtg meronda ingt i nk mencuri nti.

neway mashy da mandi x?msti busuk kn u.elly dpt bau smpai sini.u punya perfume escada tu pun xleh nk cover.hehehe kambing la u ni pumpkins. i da mandi dah b4 kuar td.tp tu lah xde sapa nk kuar ngn elly arini. sorg2 jer cm org giler phone sume org.sume bz.sume ada commitment. Oh elly nk bgtau, aritu relationship elly ngn jaja dah xjadi.dah xde dah.guess bukan rezeki elly lagi la u. Tah ngn sapa la my hapiness lies. i really dont know. mashy bkny nk kasi tau mana hapiness tu.mashy tglkn elly time elly xsedar.apa la.nk pegi pun bgla tau. ni tak.tetau org lain yg bgtau mashy dah pegi.

aritu elly tgk iphone kt maxis center.ingt nk beli la tapi tulah duit xcukup. mcm smart gler tp xpela.byk phone lain lg smart dri tu.xmampulah nk bli plus elly bkn kaya pun. nk berlagak cm kaya.hehehe nasib mashy xde, if x, i dah leh agak dah cne u akn nag kt i nti.hehehehe ampun, xnk dgr u membebel. pastu td g the apartment, da lama xg sana, adalah dlm 3 bulan. oh apis dah kwin dah. last week dia kwin.ramai gler dtg umh.papa n mama pun dtg. dia bru blik dari cameron. suke tgk adik dah kwin.happy rasa cm nk nangis pun ada.huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

ingt nk ajak mashy g cameron ngn elly tp msti mashy dah xde masa dah ngn elly.pastu mashy dah xde kt sini. Elly dah tak tau mcm mana lagi elly nk pujuk hati ni. elly dah jadi murung skng ni.cepat stress, susah nk senyum, if senyum pun cm sket thn pura2. Elly bru jer baik demam.kena hujan truk gler khamis lepas kt bangsar. elly g seminar thn jumpa sylvia kt sana. elly rasa elly cm berkenan kt dia tp xberani lah. xmau la.jatuh cinta ni sakit tau.xtau la knp org leh ckp jatuh cinta tu indah.sebenarnya tak pun. Gilerkn mashy, sbb elly tulis note ni untuk mashy walaupun elly dah tau mashy xde. tp ni la saja cara elly nk pujuk hati elly ni. Sedih sgt.sedih sgt2. tp xpela mashy, dah bkn rezeki kita nk sesama nk lepak n hangout

tgu elly ya mashy.nti elly dtg jumpa mashy. i miss u syg

Ruang Kosong

Rasa dah lama sgt sy xtulis dlm blog ni.sy sebenarnya tak tau nk tulis per sbb dlm masa 2-3 minggu ni, sy tgh menghadapi satu krisis dgn diri sendiri.sy sendiri tak tau kenapa boleh jadi benda ni kt saya balik and sy xsuka perasaan cmni. Slightly i feel like there is a big hole inside my life that cannot be amended anymore. It is more like a permenant damages.It will take forever to heal and when it heals it will never be the same.

Hari ni hujan, sy tak tahu nk watper, sy just tgk kt tingkat, tgk hujan turun, tgk pokok2 bergoyang. Dlm hati sy berfikir, sy rasa if jadi hujan lebih seronok sbb kitaran hidup dia sama, takde sedih, xde gembira, xde perasaan dan tiada keluhan, resah or rasa marah. Sy tgk daun2 hijau jatuh, sy kira berapa helai yg jatuh tetibe hati sy rasa sedih. Sy hmpir rasa cm nk menangis. tapi sy tak tau apa alasan sy untuk menangis. bibir sy dah terketar2 menahan rasa kt dalam hati, mungkinkah sy rindu dkt sesorang? seseorang yg dah lama xda, yg dah lama pergi?seseorang yg dlu sgt istimewa bg saya. 

diri saya berperang antara hati dan fikiran, antara rasa dan resah, antara keluhan dan sedih. Sy tak tahu kenapa, kenapa slalunya apa yg sy mintak dkt tuhan akn dapat berlainan bler smpai kepada sy.Sy tak pasti dan sy xsalahkn tuhan untuk itu sbb ada alasan kenapa dia layan sy sebegini. 

Rindu sy kt student dah ok sbb sy dah jumpa balik sarjan2 sy balik.sy suka tgk dorg.sy happy tgk dorg.it like watching them get grow and waiting for time before they leave u. tu hakikat. tak selamanya dorg akan belajar dan xselamanya dorg akn stay 19-20 tahun. Sume tu adalah hakikat hidup yg sy kena akur.

Hari ni sume apa yg sy wat sume xbtul, sy sendiri tak tahu apa yg ada dalam kepala otak saya. Otak sy berpusing ligat tetapi sy sendiri tak tahu apa yg sy fikirkn. Sy bingung.adakah ini tnda2 bahawa sy semakin menghampiri usia tua?Tua dan tidak gembira. Sy xsanggup nk hidup mcm tu. Kt mana lah sy nk cari kegembiraan? if kegembiraan tu boleh dibeli ngn duit, sy pasti akn bergegas kuarkn duit yg xseberapa kt ATM thn beli tapi kegembiraan ni intangible things, benday g xleh dipegang or dipunyai dgn wang ringgit. If ada yg boleh dibeli ia hanyalah kegembiraan sementara.

April dah nk dekat, sy menghampiri hari lahir sy, semakin dekat sy semakin sedih sbb tahun ni adalah tahun terakhir untuk sy cari kegembiraan hidup sy sebelum sy tutup fikiran sy untuk bercinta. Sy bagi diri sy 2 tahun untuk mencari cinta. 30 hari sy mencari cinta yg sy sendiri tak tau mana. 24 jam sy mencari apa maksud sebenar cinta walau pada asalnya sy dah mengerti apakah cinta. 7 hari sy mencari kt mana cinta bersembunyi dan 60 saat setiap minit sy ke kiri dan ke kanan untuk melihat cinta. Sy tak jumpa.Adakah sy telah buta? terlalu buta untuk melihat sekeliling, terlalu buta untuk menilai harga satu cinta dan terlalu rabun untuk merasa cinta? ohh tidak, xnak xnak dan xsuka rasa mcm ni.Rasa mcm satu pencarian yg sia2.apa yg sy dapat? hanya satu je; sedih.

Adakah sy terlalu jahat dan ditakuti sehingga cinta xmau dtg?Sy ni jahat ke? yes sy akui, sy ni tak la sebaik mana yg disangka. sy sedar sapa sy dan sy tau mcm mana diri sy lebih dari org lain tahu. xpe.sy dah biasa mcm ni. dah biasa hidup dlm ruang kosong. apa yg sy dgr hanya bunyi angin dan bunyi nafas sy sendiri. Sy bercakap dlm minda bwh sedar sy setiap masa kerana sy dah tak boleh untuk berfikir melalu minda sedar sy. Kesedaran semakin kurang, pembangunan makin pesat, sy akn sesat dan adakah itu tanda kiamat semakin dekat?

tolong ampun kn aku.

Sy rindu students sy

Sy tak tau y la kan, sy mmg really bonding dengan student 174 (PSP) semester ni.i really dont know why. Sy rasa dorg as one of my hapiness yg sy ada. sy happy dengan dorg, sy happy dengan attitude dorg, dengan apa yg dorg wat dlm class. they never failed to make me smile. 

Sy anggap dorg sume as my own brother n sisters. sy concern pasal dorg, dorg punya well-being, prob ke or apa2 jer but since dorg cuti sem, sy rasa cm alone sgt, dtg miim pun mls sbb dorg xde. Since semester break, sy jadi xhappy, problem dtg bertimpa2 kt sy, one moment sy ingt sy happy tp sebenarnya sy xpernah happy. bagi sy, dorg sume adalah my hapiness. dorg dah jdi sebahagian dari tnggungjawab sy, sebahagian dari hidup sy. Sy happy dikelilingi dgn nora, fatin,alin,allya,zhareef. walaupun kekadang dorg memeningkn pale sy, wat sy confius, wat sy risau, wat sy cm lemas tp sepanjang masa dorg wat sy jadi happy.wat sy lupa sy ada masalah lain, sy lupa sy ada benda yg serious untuk sy selesaikn.

sy xtau bper lama lg dorg ada kt miim dan bep lama lg sy akn mengajar kt miim, dan sy tak tau if dorg pun appreciate sy cmne sy appreciate dorg but xpe,its ok,sy xleh pksa untuk dorg tgk sy cmne sy tgk dorg.tu hak memasing tp mmg btul sy happy. So tolongla ceapt hbis cuti semester ni,sy rindu adik2 sy.

2am for my sorrows

Hmm,  it's already 2am and i still can't find a way to sleep. I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep yet too lazy to go out.  My mind keep processing things happen to me, analyze without stopping any second, Ahh..i hate this feeling, unsecure, unsure, all the "un" characteristic are coming inside my mind. I can't think any positive matters. My mind box are full with bad things, i seem can't recalled any of my sweet memories, any precious moments, or anything. Everything that came across my mind are remind me about how jinx i am. How unlucky i am, how sad i am, how mad i am, how fool i am. In fact, why i am the only one who's always ended up at the last place? I hate pretenders but i am pretend myself, pretend that i am happy with my life, myself and life.The truth is, i hate my life. I hate to pretend, it was too painful, it was to clownic and childish move for a grown up man like me. I hate to face the reality because it was too real for me. I am prefer to live in my lala land. 

Oh dear god, hear my pray.I want happiness; a real one not a temporary, not a fake or for a moment only.Please give me a real happiness as i always wanted.Promise me u will give me one so that i can lead myself into a happy life. 

I am just a grown up man running out of time

1 more lonely people in the world

I'm not sure if the news i've received today preceived as good news, or bad news for me. As for me, i cannot lied to myself, i know my feelings, i knew it very well. Hurted, emotionally abused but i've got to see her happy.If this is the way to make her happy thn i'm totally agree with it. 

"Hey, wake up man, u just a grown up man runnin out of time, plus it's not the end of the world, we all know the fact that u like her but there's nothing u can do. I know u ain't happy at this moment, u confiused & mad at your self, feeling world don't treat u well and so on but think at the better side, u make her happy now,U no longer her burden. Is that what u want in ur relationship with her?"-Ell

So, hello world, here i am, another lonely people in the world. 2 break ups in 2009.wow, i must be good at it.If break up was a course, surely i will obtained my Ph.D by now.hehehe. got nothing to do, got nothing to think.World are moving too fast and, i can't keep up pretty well so slumped people like me, always been leave behind. Its ok, it's ok. I accepted the matters as one of my weaknesses. People is hard to understand nowdays and i missed the old days very much. Love is been projected as an instant now, one minute u fall in love, the other minute it was over. By the blink of an eyes, everything is vanish to the thin air. Oh i wish i cud have one power. So i can stop the time and let the feeling live longer inside, grows and rooted inside buti guess imagination is just an imagination.

My brain keep spinning real fast today, thinking whut would be the suitable answer if someone will asked me bout her. Clock ticking and i still don't have the answer. I still fought with myself, should i be fake?or should i be frank? I'm still afraid people will laughed at me on this matter but fortunately, my sister was there for me. Her words, her present make me feel warmth. Thnk you. 

One more lonely people in the world.i'm kinda like it. It suit me really good. I sipped my milo, light up my cigaratte, here am i in front of my computer, write down what i feel today before i close my eyes. world are getting smaller as i can hear thousands laughing at me, clapping hands and shouted "Loser, loser, loser,loser"  

I can't contain my feeling anymore, sadness are getting nearer, my esteem are getting lower, lower thn a floor, my guts are dissappeared and i'm numbed. Why im too stupid cannot tell by the way she react, the way she left me without a trace? Why am i too slow to think.I've been fooled by my own self. Any moments now, i'll lose my rational mind completely.

Sad not i've been dumped by her but sad, im too blind to see.to0 tired to think, too carried away by an ILU rather thn IHU. Oh rain, please go away, come again another day but not today. I don't want u to washed my sadness, in fact, u just make it gets bigger. A raindrop making me more sad, i know am drowsy but i kept my eyes wide open, my strength are getting weaker, i can't find any resources of strength-ness for me to use to keep goin. Only words and advises from her i used to keep the positivity alive. Thnks once again, thnks a million times,

Any moment now, any moment now..

2 milo tarik, teh o suam, limau ais, malboro menthol, lm merah, 2 org lelaki & 1 cerita tentang hidup

Tempat: mamak pelita ampang point

Cm pelik kan bler aku ckp aku lepak ngn megat sbb sebelum ni, mmg xpernah pun nk lepak per lagi nk borak sesama pasal benda2 serious dgn dia.Sbbnya ktorg ni berlainan group masa belajar.Aku group A, megat group B. A&B mmg xpernah nk ok bkn sbb bergaduh ke apa tp tak tau la.mmg cmtu kot if masa belajar dlu.ada kumpulan2 memasing, tp bile da keja, ktorg da jadi rapat mcm kawan baik.

So td, pegi la lepak pelita ampang point. dok g order air, tgk gelagat og, tgk lelaki yg suka taste maknyah, so smbil smoking ktorg pun bercerita la dari lelaki ke lelaki tentang hidup. Aku rasa happy bler megat ni dah ready nk ke phase hidup yg lagi satu.xtau kenapa tp aku happy.suka aku dgr sume kwn2 dah puas jadi bujang. dari sebatang ke sebatang rokok lagi, last2 dua-dua rokok dah hbis..seronok bler 2 org berkongsi benda yg sama.camna rasa jadi dewasa, cmne nk wat hidup kte lebih baik.sbb benda ni bukan sume org leh dok sama channel dgn kita.

megat, nti kte g pelita klcc lak la..

kenapalah saya propose dia hari tu!

Seriously, skang ni sy tak tau apa yg saya rasa.saya da konfius, awk tglkn sy tnpa apa2 arah. If let say awk tkut nk menolak sbb sy ni lecturer kwn awk, awk jgn risau, sy da cukup besar untuk berfikir, benda ni xkan effect ape2 kt kwn awk sbb apa2 yg jadi dia tetap student sy ,dia tetap adik sy. benda ni xde kena mengena dgn dia pun.its between us. 

Sy fikir2 blik, sy regret proposed awk aritu, if x benda xkn jadi mcm ni. sy dah wat awk berfikir, confius, takut, fobia..Sy lebih suka kte jadi mcm dlu,boleh msg2, sy tau ape yg awk wat, sy tau apa yg awk mkn etc.. tp look at now, sy dah xtau apa2 pasal awk, awk sihat ke, awk dah mkn ke, awk sakit ke, awk ada problem ke, ke awk dlm kesusahan ke.SAYA DAH TAK TAHU APA2.saya dah lost. tujuan sy tulis ni bukan untuk push awk, sbb cara sy layan awk tetap akn sama sebelum dan selepas sy propose awk. xkn berubah.mcmtulah.bkn sbb if sy da proposed, kte da kena share sume benda, buat sume benda sesama. saya tau, both of us are in unconditional love. Citer pasal kte ni xmembentuk apa2, so awk jgn risau.sy xpaksa awk untuk wat commitment dgn saya, kta boleh stick as fren if benda tu yg leh wat awk rasa lebih better, jgn jadikn apa yg sy propose kt awk dlu as beban..sy happy dgn awk, xkisah walau cmne pun condition dia. 

Mungkin awk rasa bila sy propose awk, benda yg saya nk target adalah untuk kwin.x awk silap. no,sy propose awk untuk wat awk lagi happy. mungkin awk happy before tp sy nak awk lebih happy dari dlu tp nmpk gaya sy da silap.sy wat awk lg misery.Sume salah sy.terlalu ikutkn kata hati.Sy propose awk untuk jadikan awk better person, sy proposed awk untuk bg jaminan kt awk, bukan untuk kwin tetapi sebagai manusia sesama manusia. terpulang pada awk untuk menilai.

Awk, if awk ada sikit rasa menyesal sebab bagi jawapan "YES" aritu, if awk nk tarik balik kata2 tu, teruskan, sy sikit pun xmarah sbb sy faham keadaan awk. Sy akn bagi awk sebanyak mana masa yg awk perlukan sbb sy tak kejar masa, tapi masa yg kejar saya. Sy org yg paling senang dlm dunia, sy xbyk syarat, sy xde byk hal, dan lg satu, jgn ingt if sy proposed awk, segala aktiviti awk akn bertumpu dgn sy, tak, sy xpernah halang awk, ingt apa yg sy pernah ckp dlu, awk wat la pepe yg awk nak as long awk tau batas2 dia.tu saja.

Sy xde mintak pepe just bg sy peluang untuk kenal awk, tolong awk sbb benda akn lebih elok if kte kongsi sesama.

sy mintk maaf sbb tulis pnjng2 pasal benda ni.

Merepek time: Nama saya Shah

The following questions are useful for any artist or band if they are serious about conducting their music careers as a business. Thoughtful, honest, and detailed answers to these questions will help prepare the artist or band in writing bios, fact sheets, and any press releases that are necessary for marketing and promoting their music, and will assist them in evaluating their current career status.

Name of Artist/Band?
Wan-Tanah-Merah..heheh sy la segalanya,dari main gitar sampai ke menyanyi sampai la bwk keta

Is your stage name trademarked?
belum sempat daftar lg,sbb pejabat tu ramai sgt org beratur.sy  celebrity, mana leh kena panas sgt

Have you filed your songs for copyright protection?
if da nk wat trademark ngn tmpt nk wat copyright tu sama, dah tentu la blum.ding dong btul la wartawan ni..ko ni dari mana ni? Tamil naidu?

Have any of your songs been published?
Dah haritu masa ada pesta wayang kulit kt kok lanas.tok dalang nama abu yg mainkan lgu sy

Have you affiliated with a performance rights organization?
oh skang ni sy join PBSM & pengakap

What is your background?
Saya background xde apa sgt la, just dlu main rekoder masa sekolah

Do you have a written 'band agreement'?
Agreement? sama cam surat pajak ke?

Why do you want to record and release your own music?
mesti la nak, skang ni record pkai handphone jer

Who is your fan/customer?

Ape ko tnya ni?.nk cari fan pegi la kedai letrik..nk cari kipas nk tnya aku plak.customer pegi la tnya kt kedai

What are your songs about?
my song is about myself.

Do you write your own songs?
Ada tulis aritu..nama lagu dia lagu laga..lalalalalalalalalala

Who are your musical influences?
The beatles
How do you describe your music to people?
Mcm kaum asli temiar kt pahang

What image do you think your music conveys?
Convey tu sama ngn connie dog kt A&W ke?

What are your immediate music career goals?
Nak bli handphone baru sbb skng ni yg lama boleh record seminit jer.xde memori kad

What are your long-term career goals?
Nak menang moto!

Do you have a demo or press kit, or any promotional materials?

ada tapi dah hbis dah..sy guna burung merpati untuk promosi

Maaflah ye, temuramah ni terpaksa dihentikan, rupanya kumpulan Wan-Tanah-Merah ni org xbetul..

Bila rasa ku ini rasa mu.Sanggupkah engkau?

"Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu
Dan tak pernah ku sesali itu
Seluruh jiwa rela ku serahkan
Mengenang janji setiaku"- sammy kerispatih

Seriously i really like this lyric, this song, the way they write this lyric, the ideas, the melody and the meaning behind this song. This is isn't just a normal song but a life to be precise.

This song tells you about how this guy loves this girl so much. 

Kekadang rasa cm sayu bler dgr lagu ni especially bila malam. sy tak tau kenapa tp lagu ni mmg ada intrinsic meaning. Pengorbanan seorang lelaki kepada teman wanita yg buta hatiny yg tak nmpk apa yg telah dikorbankn. 

Sy tak nafikan mmg lelaki ni ego, ada satu perasaan tak mau kalah, dan tidak akn menurunkn ego dan air mukanya dengan senang, tetapi bila lelaki mula hilang egony kpd sorg wanita, ia bermakna lelaki dah mula menyayangi wanita tersebut tapi apa yg terjadi dlm lagu ini, wanita tidak mengendahkn perasaan lelaki tersebut tp menggunakannya sebagai satu alasan untuk berselingkuh. salahkan if kami sbg lelaki terlalu mencintai kamu wahai kaum wanita? kte sume manusia, ada hati dan perasaan, sejauh mana kita lari, kita akn blik ke asalan semula kerana dunia ni bulat.

Hujan di waktu senja

Asyik hujan jer hari ni, dari kul 4 tadi smpai la sekarang. adoi, sy da bosan la mcmni, byk aktiviti tergendala. sy jadi bosan plus i've got nowhere to go, got no one to text, go nobody to kacau.

today are the loneliness day ever in my life. ever since morning, i've got nothing to do, i starred at my 4 walls, i do starred at skies, watching birds flown above my head, watched them sings. Some people enjoyed it but not me. I tend to get bored with this feelings, feeling empty, guilty by my decisions. i took a deep breath, thinking deeply and question my act. Am i rite doing this? am i too pushy? am i put a hope that makes her feel uncomfortable?

I well aware the problem, i know but i just don't want her to think that she'll endup like that. Internal conflict, riotism emotion breakdown and afraid of a tied. i don't prefer to used word commintment because i one of them, someone afraid to commit something. I'll never get bored of her instead i never get enough of her. I want more.I want more and more and more.

I already talked to my sis in penang, glad she knows how to makes me calm and i calmed with her words, with the things she told me last night. Thanks sargent. I told her everything, i told her sincerely. Its ok, your brother is ok. don't u worry. Thanks for your words, your thought and all. I appreciate it so much. 

Hujan still turun dan sy tak tau nk buat apa.. i've posted many entries for the past 2 days. As far as i concern, i am still happy and to my special someone; i know u're been busy with your quizes, notes and stuffs. Just one simple msg from u could set me free from this boredom.Hope u will do well for your quizes. I wish u goodluck and lots of love.

shez

Good old days

My brother's engagement @ KULIM

Half of my family;

Sitting from left: Abah, mama, caca, sharinaz (my future s-i-l) apis (bakal pengantin), alicia keys, azim.

Bended from left: busu yah, shidah, amkcik yati, alia, anor, general shez, mira

standing from left:syaborel, ateh, ina, nabila (yg terlindung),amir, abg lan, ijai

Kindness & humanity

One synonym for the word kindness is the term of humanity. Kindness is essentially a regiqnition of the fact that we're all human, an acknowledgement that we're all in this together. "Most of what makes life worth living depends on at least some of us being altruistic some of the time".We cannot address problems like global climate change, the spread of disease and political violence by appealing only to selfish motives.

The good news is that it's easy to train ourselves to be kinder.People should simply do more acts of kindness than they usually do, and do them on regular basis. Kindness, then just a matter of choice- an attitude you carry with u that u can make a difference, however small, in someone else's life.

Kindness has to begin within ourselves. Sometimes we lock people out to keep ourselves safe, but that also isolates us from the rest of universe.Every major religion has love as universal principle.Kindness takes love to a gentler and more accessible level that most people feel comfortable with. Showing a little bit of kindness to people regoqnises that everyone around u is just like yourself.

Good morning sunday!

As usual, sunday come again and same old thing happened to me. My mum will never let me sleep overtime on weekend. My mum woke me up on 8am. Knocked my door and said "awk, beli breakfast,tlg mama bli breakfast" oh no! not again! am too tired and still sleepy to go outside, to drive or to do anything. "I don't want, i don't want" i replied and she said "ala..tolong la boy beli"..oh she's the love of my love, my mama, my one and only mama..i pun bangun la, cuci muka, gosok gigi ambil kunci keta thn pegi beli sarapan and bila da sampai sana bru perasan; "Ya Allah, aku pkai selipar sblh lain,sebelah lain" 

Ahh what the hell, to lazy too turned back so i just walked to the stall act like nothing happen. Succeeded! xde sapa perasan!heheheheh

so Good morning sunday! i hate u!

Life is not everything, its the only thing!

Okies, here we go.. this lad called himself as Shez Ell Zefflee Rosli. Age: secret!sorry

Nothing much bout this lad, just a simple plain crazy people who used to love party, socialite and once C grade clebrity (hehehe). Always acting cool,yes indeed, he was cool. Love to laugh and admit that was his best feature. Apart from being an ad man, he was a part-time lecture at MiiM (Myammar institute of Integrative Media) err Malaysian not Myammar ok..Duh! 

Dubbed as the best, genius, cool, fun, loving man year 2008 according to himself (u can read but advised not to trust). Playful all the time and according to his mum who always "pening" with him said; "awk ni mcm monyet la, xreti duduk diam" 

"Yes, monyet.. sometimes yes, mmg i perangai cm monyet..heheh maybe ni infection virus monyet masa pegi jogging kt Taman Tar..byk monyet!"- shez

Ok, back to the story, even-though he might look like he had no problem at all but the truth is he had really bad luck in relationship but that's already changed. He already found someone!

So lets take a look at an interview with him

Tell me a little bit about you sir?

Mine is Shez ell zefflee pronouns as shez-l-zefflee ok!) borned in amsterdam April 24. Nothing much special bout me. Ordinary person with ordinary life. Advertising as my bread & butter, & lecturing as my strawberry jam.

U married? single or what?

Tough question, currently am not married nor single. My heart been stole by someone special. My special someone. I really can expressed my feeling rite now but as i concern, I'm happy with my life and her and everyone around us

Congratulations on your un-single life!

Err..thank you so much (blushing)

What about your future plan, any ideas?

Hmm..to early to think bout it but well..umm, rite now am persuing hard to buy a house since i already bought a car. Thinking bout the prospect of my career, this 09 downturned are killing me and everyone who share the same passion as mine, to be "TOP ADMAN". 

Political issues?

no comment, not into political matters, out of my concern.

Tell me more about..err your special someone..can aa?

Why la u nk tau bout her? minat eh? hmm met her recently somewhere in kl, she's coming with her friends. A simple glace i felt like i've been hit by a branches of tree, hee, silly eh? than i started to starring at her because of her wide brown eyes (contact lens according to her friends- anonymous) but its ok, i just like the way she are, a simple person i assume. Am talking to myself "wow, she's nice..i think i like her" After the recent meet, once again i met her but at that time i have to act appropriate because i'm a lecturer and she's coming to my college but well, i do believe, people do fall in love anywhere, with anyone & anytime. Thnks to god, thanks to her and thanks to her friends.

Thanks for giving us some time to do this interview. Hope you have a nice day ya.Daa

Oh, thanks to you too..oh by the way, benda ni nti kuar kt tv mana?

Oh tak keluar memana pun, kuar kt blog jer..

Cehh!

For those who read this; trust me. He's an Aces.heheheheh 

Sign off,

Ell

Shez's personal writer