1 more lonely people in the world

I'm not sure if the news i've received today preceived as good news, or bad news for me. As for me, i cannot lied to myself, i know my feelings, i knew it very well. Hurted, emotionally abused but i've got to see her happy.If this is the way to make her happy thn i'm totally agree with it. 

"Hey, wake up man, u just a grown up man runnin out of time, plus it's not the end of the world, we all know the fact that u like her but there's nothing u can do. I know u ain't happy at this moment, u confiused & mad at your self, feeling world don't treat u well and so on but think at the better side, u make her happy now,U no longer her burden. Is that what u want in ur relationship with her?"-Ell

So, hello world, here i am, another lonely people in the world. 2 break ups in 2009.wow, i must be good at it.If break up was a course, surely i will obtained my Ph.D by now.hehehe. got nothing to do, got nothing to think.World are moving too fast and, i can't keep up pretty well so slumped people like me, always been leave behind. Its ok, it's ok. I accepted the matters as one of my weaknesses. People is hard to understand nowdays and i missed the old days very much. Love is been projected as an instant now, one minute u fall in love, the other minute it was over. By the blink of an eyes, everything is vanish to the thin air. Oh i wish i cud have one power. So i can stop the time and let the feeling live longer inside, grows and rooted inside buti guess imagination is just an imagination.

My brain keep spinning real fast today, thinking whut would be the suitable answer if someone will asked me bout her. Clock ticking and i still don't have the answer. I still fought with myself, should i be fake?or should i be frank? I'm still afraid people will laughed at me on this matter but fortunately, my sister was there for me. Her words, her present make me feel warmth. Thnk you. 

One more lonely people in the world.i'm kinda like it. It suit me really good. I sipped my milo, light up my cigaratte, here am i in front of my computer, write down what i feel today before i close my eyes. world are getting smaller as i can hear thousands laughing at me, clapping hands and shouted "Loser, loser, loser,loser"  

I can't contain my feeling anymore, sadness are getting nearer, my esteem are getting lower, lower thn a floor, my guts are dissappeared and i'm numbed. Why im too stupid cannot tell by the way she react, the way she left me without a trace? Why am i too slow to think.I've been fooled by my own self. Any moments now, i'll lose my rational mind completely.

Sad not i've been dumped by her but sad, im too blind to see.to0 tired to think, too carried away by an ILU rather thn IHU. Oh rain, please go away, come again another day but not today. I don't want u to washed my sadness, in fact, u just make it gets bigger. A raindrop making me more sad, i know am drowsy but i kept my eyes wide open, my strength are getting weaker, i can't find any resources of strength-ness for me to use to keep goin. Only words and advises from her i used to keep the positivity alive. Thnks once again, thnks a million times,

Any moment now, any moment now..