Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Kosong

.............................................................kosong....................................................................

Antara cinta si cincin, si barbie & si rabun

Kenapa msti slalunya sy dalam situasi mcm ni. Situasi yg tak pernah nk menenangkan hati saya. Kenapa sy msti selalunya berperang dengan situasi mcm ni. 

Cerita 1: Si Barbie

Sy semakin tak faham dengan situasi sy dan dia. Kami seperti semakin jauh dan tidak serasi. Setiap perbualan yg melangkaui masa 10 minit selalunya akn disusuli dengan pergaduhan. Gaduh yg tak kn pernah nk berakihir semua hanya benda2 bodo yg datangnya dari sy dan dia. Mungkinkah ada salah dari segi kami berkomunikasi, ataupun dari segi kami membawa diri masing2? sy akui, susah untuk menjalinkn cinta pada jarak jauh kerana cinta jenis ini selalunya akn berpandukan kepada kepercayaan yg utuh dan bukannya komunikasi. Pada awalanya sy berasa sgt gembira kerana kami sentiasa tidak lekang untuk berkomunikasi sesama sendiri melalau internet ,msg dan telefon. Tetapi semua ini tidak kekal bila kepercayaan yg saya bina musnah pada hari valentine. Semuanya hncur dan kami mnjadi renggang dan semakin jauh. kini kami masih lagi mencari keserasian yang tiada definisi had masa dan sy xpasti jika kami akn jumpa dengan keserasian itu.

Cerita 2: Si Cincin

Sy bertemu dgn si cincin melalui kenalan dimana bermula dari meminta lagu seterusnya kami saling jatuh hati (ayat tak boleh belah). Dia dekat dgn sy, tidak seperti si barbie yg jauhnya dipisahkn oleh lautan. Kami sering berjumpa. Tiada masalah diantara kami hanya untuk mempercayai seseorang wanita itu kembali selepas apa yg terjadi dianatara sy dan si barbie adalah sukar.Wlaupun jarak umur antara kami agak jauh tapi tiada masalah dlm pergaulan, komunikasi atau pembawakan diri. masalah timbul apabila dirinya masih lagi mencari cinta sedangkan sy masih bersama dia dan kami masih bersama dan dia masih lagi mencari cinta. Sy semakin bosan dan jadi xpasti samada untuk teruskan ataupun berhenti ditgh jalan.

Cerita 3: Si Rabun

Sy kenali dia memlalui adik sy. Dia seorang yg mempunyai perwatakan yg menarik dan matanya telah membuatkn sy jatuh hati.Bermula dengan satu mesej ringkas, kami menjadi teman sms yg setia. Hati sy berdegup pantas bila sy tidak bertepuk sebelah tgn. Si dia juga menyatakan cintanya kpd sy. Sy gembira. Sy senang dan lapang. Masalah timbul bila si dia mula menyepikan diri tanpa sebarang khabar. Sy jadi sesat. Mungkin disebabkn faktor usia yg masih muda, dan konflik keluarga, dia menjadi tidak pasti dan tak keruan dan sy sebagai yg tua harus faham situasi ini dan mengalah.Terima kasih sbb hadir walaupun seketika, sy gembira

Dan saya. apa yg berlaku pada hari ini? tiada apa2 yg istimewa kerana rasa cinta sy hmpir tertutup walaupun kini sy masih lagi mencari apa yg telah hilang dalam diri sy. Cinta, kegembiraan dan masa depan.

Monday, March 30, 2009

I am chasing time with love. Love me and i will love you too

Have you ever suddenly awake form ur sleep at the middle of the night and u're in emotionally breakdown? This thing is happening to me now. Am clueless when ever come to think of my life.

I try to figure out what is happening to me, why god testing me like this, alway give me a never ending sadness and worries. My life is not like another romantic movies, i don't have any prissy princess to kiss and i am no frog prince waiting to be kiss by the princess. In summary, i had a bad experience throughout my life. Sumtimes i wish how i badly want to be like jessy in never been kissed, i wnted to end up as burke landers in get over it or even as rusty in ocean's series. 

as someone who finally get the chance to meet a true love and a one hell of a good kiss, or i wish if am a flop before but finally someone come to rescue me with the happily life and lots of love or i don't have any luck in love but am happy with my life with the quo and status but ripped all that. That's just fantasy. Added to my wishes, i wanted to be wonderpet, where i don't have anytime to think bout sadness because my life is full with excitement and adventure of saving animals. I love ming ming. 

my emotional and morale is really low right now. My rationality and dignity began to be thick as tissues and it getting thick and thick anytime now.

God, please show me the way so i can be loved and love someone. please give me someone who will loved me truly. because without your guidance, am lost

clock's ticking and i am just a grown up man running out of time

Idea Rawkstar......................can u wait for me?

raining downpour outside. Again, no activity can be done in this whether. The surround is getting colder. Ahh..what a boring nite. i winted to go to karaoke but don't have any money rite now. I wanna sing out of my lung badly and here i am again. Writing for u peoples outhere to read. This is my personal monologing with myself. A war between my innerside and my concious thoughts. 

The perak political issues almost over, the political transition already ended but issues of mine are still not over. Campaigning myself, publicise myself but that is for what? The question is for what and i still dont have any answers for any of my questions.

My fingers are typing these words real fast and my brain work thrice faster thn before. what am i trying to tell you? Am i sad? am i dissatisfaction? am i disagree with something? Those are never ending question that i have to answer. People told me that my answers for that question are lies infront of me but i can't see any. 

Sigh again..

i've met this girl named sylvia recently and like a struck of lightning, i fell for her.no problem interm of code of different religion and race but am too shy to tell her because i just met her once. Once in my life. I don't find any ways to make myself bumped with her again but lets forget bout her for a while. Im aimed for a place in Idea Rawkstar training starting this june 2009 but im facing one big problem where in this case, am short of money. A universal problem for mankind throughout the world. Money oo money, where r u? where can i find u in this short period of time?

My short period targets:

Idea Rawkstars & Sylvia

My long term goals:

Be at top of my game and getting know sylvia very will

My achivement so far:

none.

sighs..sighs...u are my friend rite now.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I "sighing" myself.where to find 5k++

" No, no and no. I wont let u to spend so much time to go here and there, what you're trying to prove?"

A conversation as father n son already failed, as a worker and boss also failed and now my dream shattered as in my conversation as man to man with my dad a.k.a my boss failed to create something. it feels like forever to convince him i want to be on top of my games.

Sigh! ever since i was in uni, i believed that i can wins any of the kancil awards, the crombars award, the Art director club award and all existing advertising awards globally. hehehe. I'm an ambitious man but there is a barrier. A mind set of typical malay old man- my dad. I've seen him as my obstacle to go more further. The reason why he wont let me to do this to do that because he said i don't have to prove anything because the ultimate of being ad man is to have their own agency and he add that by giving me his agency. Oh god. That's his ultimate achievement but not me. Look at me, i don't have anything.don't have any awards or recognition from anybody in this industry. 

I want a recognition from Mr Vincent Lee, or anyone who's superb damn famous in this industry but well...

so now, am working out my ass real hard to find 5k++ to join and challange myself to another level of becoming really damn good as an ad man. 
Hope i can achieve my target rite now to find "kaaching!" because there's sweet janet & charming shahnaz waiting for me.

"rub hand, rub hands..here come van bawa duit dekat atm machine .going to rob them"

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Nota untuk mashy.Sy rindu awk

I really dont know why but i feel really boring today. Got nothing to do,got nowhere to go. I felt at this point, my morale are dropping below par.Disgusted with myself, feel sorry for myself. 

Dear oh dear, where r u been missing? i miss you so much. This is my note for my deary mashy.

I know i may sound crazy but am writing you a note just like you still around for you to read. I miss u babe. I really do. Why you left me alone here in this empty 4 walls of world? why you took away my hapiness my dear? How r you? hope you doing fine up there. I just wnt to tell you that my birthday's around the corner. Am getting old.hehe ad as far as i remember, at this year we're supposed to get engaged right? we engraved our promises to be together until both of us aged 120th right? hehehe silly la u ni.mana la kite leh hidup lama tu plus ngn i smoking lagi. 

Another birthday and another year will passed me by and another same old me mashy.wish u cud see me get old. laughing at me, make fun of me because of my ages' numbers. Cake, candle & coke.oh how much i missed dat. No more cake since u're gone. I hated cakes more thn i hate jews. Today i wore shirt yg u kasi kt elly. heheheh silly la it looks. da lama gler tshirt ni. nasib muat lagi walaupun cm ketat sket. i drive around and sad u xdpt naik keta ngn i sesama. i ada pasang lagu b2m td. and td i drop by kt depan umh u. gelap jer xde org..huhuhu..xleh nk lelama nti guard patrol dtg meronda ingt i nk mencuri nti.

neway mashy da mandi x?msti busuk kn u.elly dpt bau smpai sini.u punya perfume escada tu pun xleh nk cover.hehehe kambing la u ni pumpkins. i da mandi dah b4 kuar td.tp tu lah xde sapa nk kuar ngn elly arini. sorg2 jer cm org giler phone sume org.sume bz.sume ada commitment. Oh elly nk bgtau, aritu relationship elly ngn jaja dah xjadi.dah xde dah.guess bukan rezeki elly lagi la u. Tah ngn sapa la my hapiness lies. i really dont know. mashy bkny nk kasi tau mana hapiness tu.mashy tglkn elly time elly xsedar.apa la.nk pegi pun bgla tau. ni tak.tetau org lain yg bgtau mashy dah pegi.

aritu elly tgk iphone kt maxis center.ingt nk beli la tapi tulah duit xcukup. mcm smart gler tp xpela.byk phone lain lg smart dri tu.xmampulah nk bli plus elly bkn kaya pun. nk berlagak cm kaya.hehehe nasib mashy xde, if x, i dah leh agak dah cne u akn nag kt i nti.hehehehe ampun, xnk dgr u membebel. pastu td g the apartment, da lama xg sana, adalah dlm 3 bulan. oh apis dah kwin dah. last week dia kwin.ramai gler dtg umh.papa n mama pun dtg. dia bru blik dari cameron. suke tgk adik dah kwin.happy rasa cm nk nangis pun ada.huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

ingt nk ajak mashy g cameron ngn elly tp msti mashy dah xde masa dah ngn elly.pastu mashy dah xde kt sini. Elly dah tak tau mcm mana lagi elly nk pujuk hati ni. elly dah jadi murung skng ni.cepat stress, susah nk senyum, if senyum pun cm sket thn pura2. Elly bru jer baik demam.kena hujan truk gler khamis lepas kt bangsar. elly g seminar thn jumpa sylvia kt sana. elly rasa elly cm berkenan kt dia tp xberani lah. xmau la.jatuh cinta ni sakit tau.xtau la knp org leh ckp jatuh cinta tu indah.sebenarnya tak pun. Gilerkn mashy, sbb elly tulis note ni untuk mashy walaupun elly dah tau mashy xde. tp ni la saja cara elly nk pujuk hati elly ni. Sedih sgt.sedih sgt2. tp xpela mashy, dah bkn rezeki kita nk sesama nk lepak n hangout

tgu elly ya mashy.nti elly dtg jumpa mashy. i miss u syg

Bz itu satu kebahagian (sambungan dari catatan Nora)

sy rasa sy setuju ngn apa yg nora tulis; bz itu satu kebahagian. yes sbb bagi sy, bz tu satu rahmat bukny musibat kt sy. dgn bz ni lah sy dapat lupakn sume benda masalah yg ada dlm kepala otak sy. Dgn bz ni sy dapat hidup dgn aman, sy dapat berfikir dgn tenang dan sy dapat menghirup udara segar dgn bz. Sy akn lupakan segala masalah sy, segala kesedihan sy akn sy tglkn. Bz membuatkn sy tidak mendengar apa2 cacian, makian dan hinaan yg org dah lemparkn dkt sy. Segala mcm tuduhan dan kesedihan sume sy tglkn bila bz.

Bz kah sy?

Sy sendiri tak tau if sy ni bz ke x sbb xnampk perbezaannya.tetapi apa yg pasti ialah bila sampai masanya sy lupa akn waktu, bila smpai masanya sy lupa akan segala aktiviti sy, itulah tndanya sy bz.Sy gembira sy bz sbb sy dapat mengelakn diri sy dari fikir benda yg bkn2 dan tak munasabah

Peluang untuk jadi bz sentiasa terbuka. sy dah nmpk satu lg pintu bz da terbuka untuk sy menunggu sy untuk melangkah sahaja. Sy bekerja dan sy mengajar dan kini sy nk tmbah satu lagi kesibukan sy iaitu belajar. jadi sy akn bekerja, mengajar dan blajar dan mungkin akn sampai masanya sy akn berkejar, bekejar ke hospital disebabkn kepenatan teramat dan sy akn lebih gembira if sekiranya pada akhir hidup sy, sy akn mati dlm kesibukan.

Ya allah, beri sy lebih masa untuk hidup.byk benda untuk sy kongsikn dgn umat2 yg lain

Ruang Kosong

Rasa dah lama sgt sy xtulis dlm blog ni.sy sebenarnya tak tau nk tulis per sbb dlm masa 2-3 minggu ni, sy tgh menghadapi satu krisis dgn diri sendiri.sy sendiri tak tau kenapa boleh jadi benda ni kt saya balik and sy xsuka perasaan cmni. Slightly i feel like there is a big hole inside my life that cannot be amended anymore. It is more like a permenant damages.It will take forever to heal and when it heals it will never be the same.

Hari ni hujan, sy tak tahu nk watper, sy just tgk kt tingkat, tgk hujan turun, tgk pokok2 bergoyang. Dlm hati sy berfikir, sy rasa if jadi hujan lebih seronok sbb kitaran hidup dia sama, takde sedih, xde gembira, xde perasaan dan tiada keluhan, resah or rasa marah. Sy tgk daun2 hijau jatuh, sy kira berapa helai yg jatuh tetibe hati sy rasa sedih. Sy hmpir rasa cm nk menangis. tapi sy tak tau apa alasan sy untuk menangis. bibir sy dah terketar2 menahan rasa kt dalam hati, mungkinkah sy rindu dkt sesorang? seseorang yg dah lama xda, yg dah lama pergi?seseorang yg dlu sgt istimewa bg saya. 

diri saya berperang antara hati dan fikiran, antara rasa dan resah, antara keluhan dan sedih. Sy tak tahu kenapa, kenapa slalunya apa yg sy mintak dkt tuhan akn dapat berlainan bler smpai kepada sy.Sy tak pasti dan sy xsalahkn tuhan untuk itu sbb ada alasan kenapa dia layan sy sebegini. 

Rindu sy kt student dah ok sbb sy dah jumpa balik sarjan2 sy balik.sy suka tgk dorg.sy happy tgk dorg.it like watching them get grow and waiting for time before they leave u. tu hakikat. tak selamanya dorg akan belajar dan xselamanya dorg akn stay 19-20 tahun. Sume tu adalah hakikat hidup yg sy kena akur.

Hari ni sume apa yg sy wat sume xbtul, sy sendiri tak tahu apa yg ada dalam kepala otak saya. Otak sy berpusing ligat tetapi sy sendiri tak tahu apa yg sy fikirkn. Sy bingung.adakah ini tnda2 bahawa sy semakin menghampiri usia tua?Tua dan tidak gembira. Sy xsanggup nk hidup mcm tu. Kt mana lah sy nk cari kegembiraan? if kegembiraan tu boleh dibeli ngn duit, sy pasti akn bergegas kuarkn duit yg xseberapa kt ATM thn beli tapi kegembiraan ni intangible things, benday g xleh dipegang or dipunyai dgn wang ringgit. If ada yg boleh dibeli ia hanyalah kegembiraan sementara.

April dah nk dekat, sy menghampiri hari lahir sy, semakin dekat sy semakin sedih sbb tahun ni adalah tahun terakhir untuk sy cari kegembiraan hidup sy sebelum sy tutup fikiran sy untuk bercinta. Sy bagi diri sy 2 tahun untuk mencari cinta. 30 hari sy mencari cinta yg sy sendiri tak tau mana. 24 jam sy mencari apa maksud sebenar cinta walau pada asalnya sy dah mengerti apakah cinta. 7 hari sy mencari kt mana cinta bersembunyi dan 60 saat setiap minit sy ke kiri dan ke kanan untuk melihat cinta. Sy tak jumpa.Adakah sy telah buta? terlalu buta untuk melihat sekeliling, terlalu buta untuk menilai harga satu cinta dan terlalu rabun untuk merasa cinta? ohh tidak, xnak xnak dan xsuka rasa mcm ni.Rasa mcm satu pencarian yg sia2.apa yg sy dapat? hanya satu je; sedih.

Adakah sy terlalu jahat dan ditakuti sehingga cinta xmau dtg?Sy ni jahat ke? yes sy akui, sy ni tak la sebaik mana yg disangka. sy sedar sapa sy dan sy tau mcm mana diri sy lebih dari org lain tahu. xpe.sy dah biasa mcm ni. dah biasa hidup dlm ruang kosong. apa yg sy dgr hanya bunyi angin dan bunyi nafas sy sendiri. Sy bercakap dlm minda bwh sedar sy setiap masa kerana sy dah tak boleh untuk berfikir melalu minda sedar sy. Kesedaran semakin kurang, pembangunan makin pesat, sy akn sesat dan adakah itu tanda kiamat semakin dekat?

tolong ampun kn aku.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Sy rindu students sy

Sy tak tau y la kan, sy mmg really bonding dengan student 174 (PSP) semester ni.i really dont know why. Sy rasa dorg as one of my hapiness yg sy ada. sy happy dengan dorg, sy happy dengan attitude dorg, dengan apa yg dorg wat dlm class. they never failed to make me smile. 

Sy anggap dorg sume as my own brother n sisters. sy concern pasal dorg, dorg punya well-being, prob ke or apa2 jer but since dorg cuti sem, sy rasa cm alone sgt, dtg miim pun mls sbb dorg xde. Since semester break, sy jadi xhappy, problem dtg bertimpa2 kt sy, one moment sy ingt sy happy tp sebenarnya sy xpernah happy. bagi sy, dorg sume adalah my hapiness. dorg dah jdi sebahagian dari tnggungjawab sy, sebahagian dari hidup sy. Sy happy dikelilingi dgn nora, fatin,alin,allya,zhareef. walaupun kekadang dorg memeningkn pale sy, wat sy confius, wat sy risau, wat sy cm lemas tp sepanjang masa dorg wat sy jadi happy.wat sy lupa sy ada masalah lain, sy lupa sy ada benda yg serious untuk sy selesaikn.

sy xtau bper lama lg dorg ada kt miim dan bep lama lg sy akn mengajar kt miim, dan sy tak tau if dorg pun appreciate sy cmne sy appreciate dorg but xpe,its ok,sy xleh pksa untuk dorg tgk sy cmne sy tgk dorg.tu hak memasing tp mmg btul sy happy. So tolongla ceapt hbis cuti semester ni,sy rindu adik2 sy.

1 kereta, 1 perjalanan & 7 hati untuk dijaga

Aku pun tak tau la kenapa dengan sedara mara aku.suka sgt menumpang untuk pergi kemana2..aku xkisah if dorg xde kereta, so aku leh consider untuk bring along dorg tp ni memasing ada kereta..bg alasan yg tak munasabah, yg xboleh untuk diterima. Last2 aku yg jadi mangsa. I dont mind bwk makjang sesama sbb aku dah janji mmg nk bwk dia sesama, aku xpernah kisah pun hal2 dia nk sponsor minyak ke apa ke sbb aku still mampu untuk pkai duit sendiri. so aku ajak kwn2 aku pergi sama (shahril, azfa,payjal) thn dorg da siap amik cuti, 

tgk2 masa aku blik kmpung, mama pepndai pegi confirmkn untuk makngah ngn pakngah naik keta aku tnpa tnya aku dlu.Pastu mama bersungguh2 untuk suruh makngah ngn pak ngah untuk naik ngn aku.alasan dia, bkn xleh bwk tp if bwk tkut lmbt...so last2 aku jadi mangsa.. pastu mama buat xreti untuk masalah aku, abis kwn2 aku nk letak mana? asal aku ckp, dia leh ckp tkut dorg terasa ke apa ke abis kwn2 aku cne? dorg xterasa? dorg xde hati dan perasaan?

aku xkisah sgt if dorg yg sendiri nk pegi tp ni aku yg ajak naik keta sesama, so dorg da siap amik cuti, shahril da amik cuti awl2 lagi, lagi awal dari aku..so aku da rasa bersalah kt dorg sume. Adik aku kwin ni, mcm2 benda jadi, aku xtau la.kenapa aku yg jadi mangsa? mama nk jaga hati abg ngn kakak ipar dia, tp xamik tau ttg hati aku ngn kwn2 aku, tapi aku... aku kena jaga hati mama, makngah,pakngah,makjang,azfa,shahril dan payjal..aku kena jaga 7 hati sdangkan hati aku yg terluka.

bukan nk merungut, bukan nk menyombong diri kata aku da mampu beli keta dan xnk kasi org naik, tapi if jadi kt korg pun, korg xmampu nk puaskn hati sume org dan msti ada yg terluka.masalah ni bkn punca dari aku tp punca dari org lain..aku yg jadi mangsa..aku xtau la nk kata apa dan last2 aku terpaksa korbankn kawn aku untuk naik van.mama ckp makngah n pakngah nti if naik van tkut dorg terasa..sampai jgk kt kedah if naik van, selamat jgk..apa yg nk dirunsingkan? if xkerna benda tu pun, org akan mengata..percaya la, jgn disebabkn majlis nikah ni, mama rasa dia dah jaga hati sume org..percya la, ada y mengata dan yg mengata tu lah dtg dripada org yg dia nk jaga hati tu.percaya lah mama..kenapa la mama mcm ni.tau x mama yg sy kt sini, tetiap mlm xtido nk pkir cne nk solve kn masalah ni....

myvi oh myvi..kenapa la ko yg jadi rebutan..

Friday, March 6, 2009

2am for my sorrows

Hmm,  it's already 2am and i still can't find a way to sleep. I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep yet too lazy to go out.  My mind keep processing things happen to me, analyze without stopping any second, Ahh..i hate this feeling, unsecure, unsure, all the "un" characteristic are coming inside my mind. I can't think any positive matters. My mind box are full with bad things, i seem can't recalled any of my sweet memories, any precious moments, or anything. Everything that came across my mind are remind me about how jinx i am. How unlucky i am, how sad i am, how mad i am, how fool i am. In fact, why i am the only one who's always ended up at the last place? I hate pretenders but i am pretend myself, pretend that i am happy with my life, myself and life.The truth is, i hate my life. I hate to pretend, it was too painful, it was to clownic and childish move for a grown up man like me. I hate to face the reality because it was too real for me. I am prefer to live in my lala land. 

Oh dear god, hear my pray.I want happiness; a real one not a temporary, not a fake or for a moment only.Please give me a real happiness as i always wanted.Promise me u will give me one so that i can lead myself into a happy life. 

I am just a grown up man running out of time

Selepas kau pergi

Selepas kau pergi
Tinggallah disini ku sendiri
Kumerasakan sesuatu
Yang t’lah hilang di dalam hidupku

Dalam lubuk hatimu
Ku yakin kaupun sebenarnya tak
Inginkan lepas dariku
Tahukah kau kini ku terluka

Bantu aku membencimu
Ku terlalu mencintaimu
Dirimu begitu…
Berati untukku…

Kau telah mencinta
Dan dicintai kekasihmu
Ini tak adil bagiku
Hilanglah damba tinggallah hampa

Lupakanku dalam tidurmu
Yang pernah mencintaimu
Kau memang tercipta
Bukanlah untukku

Selepas kau pergi
Tinggallah disini ku sendiri
Kumerasakan sesuatu

Yang t’lah hilang di dalam hidupku

"thnks to laluna for the lyric walaupun at first i really hate your lyric.lagu cam hapa punya sedih"-shez

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Ini adalah Emma Tomei : Tomato girl


Ini emma, dia sibuk gak nak ada cartoon character for herself, so xpela,sy xnk dia sedih, so sy cari la watak untuk dia. Sy xtau y dia suka tomato so ni je yg paling terbaik sy blh cari, yg comel untuk si emma. hehehe.

To emma, sy nk pics tomi gak nk letak kt page sy.hehehehe

1 more lonely people in the world

I'm not sure if the news i've received today preceived as good news, or bad news for me. As for me, i cannot lied to myself, i know my feelings, i knew it very well. Hurted, emotionally abused but i've got to see her happy.If this is the way to make her happy thn i'm totally agree with it. 

"Hey, wake up man, u just a grown up man runnin out of time, plus it's not the end of the world, we all know the fact that u like her but there's nothing u can do. I know u ain't happy at this moment, u confiused & mad at your self, feeling world don't treat u well and so on but think at the better side, u make her happy now,U no longer her burden. Is that what u want in ur relationship with her?"-Ell

So, hello world, here i am, another lonely people in the world. 2 break ups in 2009.wow, i must be good at it.If break up was a course, surely i will obtained my Ph.D by now.hehehe. got nothing to do, got nothing to think.World are moving too fast and, i can't keep up pretty well so slumped people like me, always been leave behind. Its ok, it's ok. I accepted the matters as one of my weaknesses. People is hard to understand nowdays and i missed the old days very much. Love is been projected as an instant now, one minute u fall in love, the other minute it was over. By the blink of an eyes, everything is vanish to the thin air. Oh i wish i cud have one power. So i can stop the time and let the feeling live longer inside, grows and rooted inside buti guess imagination is just an imagination.

My brain keep spinning real fast today, thinking whut would be the suitable answer if someone will asked me bout her. Clock ticking and i still don't have the answer. I still fought with myself, should i be fake?or should i be frank? I'm still afraid people will laughed at me on this matter but fortunately, my sister was there for me. Her words, her present make me feel warmth. Thnk you. 

One more lonely people in the world.i'm kinda like it. It suit me really good. I sipped my milo, light up my cigaratte, here am i in front of my computer, write down what i feel today before i close my eyes. world are getting smaller as i can hear thousands laughing at me, clapping hands and shouted "Loser, loser, loser,loser"  

I can't contain my feeling anymore, sadness are getting nearer, my esteem are getting lower, lower thn a floor, my guts are dissappeared and i'm numbed. Why im too stupid cannot tell by the way she react, the way she left me without a trace? Why am i too slow to think.I've been fooled by my own self. Any moments now, i'll lose my rational mind completely.

Sad not i've been dumped by her but sad, im too blind to see.to0 tired to think, too carried away by an ILU rather thn IHU. Oh rain, please go away, come again another day but not today. I don't want u to washed my sadness, in fact, u just make it gets bigger. A raindrop making me more sad, i know am drowsy but i kept my eyes wide open, my strength are getting weaker, i can't find any resources of strength-ness for me to use to keep goin. Only words and advises from her i used to keep the positivity alive. Thnks once again, thnks a million times,

Any moment now, any moment now..

Am prideless

A: hi there
A: can i ask u sumthing
A: eventho u might not replying

B ape??
A: hmm where we heading rite now?
B: tak pyh tau la
A: huhu
A: saja nk tau
A: so i know where i stand
A: sbb xmo susahkn u
B: ok
B: tak pyh pening2 kpala tnye soalan yg ntah pe2 leh tak
B: lg terang bersuluh
B: tak kan tak phm2 lg
B: thanx r
A: yup
A: yup
B: kuiz i hancur aritu
A: oh?
B: babit kn semo org lg
B: wat la pe pon yg u ske
B: just bcoz of one person
B: shit...
A: my fault?
B: ntah la weyhh
A: ok
A: fyi, i just ask nora how r u
A: tu je
B: whatever la
A: oraite
A: huhuhu
B: mcm i tak tau je
A: clear now
B: pas cll i tak dpt
B: cll die plak kan
A: yes
A: tu i admit
B: expressed everything out
A: sbb i worried bout u
B: da la weyhh
B: bye
A: bye
A: thnks
A: and sorry
A: thnks for ur time
A: and sorry for everything da jadi


"Manalah aku nk letak muka kan pasni?"-shez

Seriously, segan giler ngn sume org.I shouted on my wall and now people will start to laugh at me.hehehe, xpela,at least,it will be my experience.huhuhuh.it's ok, a precious moment with her's enough for me to keep goin.Not regret eventho xlama.its ok. Can't force things to happen, can't push it neither. To my special someone, thnks for your time. goodluck and best wishes for u.

5th March 2009 • 7.15pm • it's over now

IT'S OVER NOW

The falling leaves drift by my window
The falling leaves of red and gold
I see your lips, the summer kisses
The sunburned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all, my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall


Since you went away the days grow long
And soon I'll hear old winter's song
But I miss you most of all, my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

I miss you most of all, my darling
When autumn leaves start to fall

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

ILU: I WANT NOBODY BUT U


You Know I still Love You Baby.
And it will never change.

I want nobody nobody But You, I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

nan sirheunde wae nal mireonaeryeogo hani jakku naemareun deutji anko
wae ireoke dareun namjaege nal bonaeryeo hani eotteoke ireoni

nal wihae geureotan geu mal
neon bujokhadaneun geu mal
ijen geumanhae neon nareul aljanha wae wonhajido annneungeol gangyohae

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

nan joheunde nan haengbokhande neoman isseumyeon dwae deo baralge eomneunde
nugul mannaseo haengbokharan geoya nan neol tteonaseo haengbokhal su eobseo

nal wihae geureotan geu mal
neon bujokhadaneun geu mal
mari an doeneun mariran geol wae molla niga eobsi eotteoke haengbokhae

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I don't want nobody body body.I don't want nobody body
naneun jeongmal niga animyeon niga animyeon sirtan mallya a~

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

I want nobody nobody But You I want nobody nobody But You
nan dareun sarameun sirheo niga animyeon sirheo
I want nobody nobody nobody nobody

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Love + Unconditional = Unconditional Love

WHAT IS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Love without Condition

"I love you as you are, as you seek to find your own special way to relate to the world, or the way you feel that is right for you. It is important that you are the person you want to be and not someone that I or others think you should be."-shez

Isn't that funny. We expect and demand someone to give us what we are not willing to give. Unconditional love. If we expect that from someone to make us feel safe and loved, wanted and desired, don't we have to understand what it is? Don't we have to feel it for ourselves before we can accept or expect anyone else to give it to us? Unconditional love: loving without limitations, conditions, or reservations. If we don't provide that for ourselves, what is our point of reference to measure the love that is to fulfill our lives. How would we know what we are searching for or what we expect someone to give to us? How do we express to someone what we need? 

In order to know that there is such a kind of love, we had to have read it somewhere, seen it in a movie or somewhere, sometime, someone showed us a glimpse of it. Right? Wrong. We were born knowing unconditional love. It is a gift, a birthright given to us from the very beginning. It's the conditioning once our souls take on the human form that limits our belief in unconditional love. It's erased and replaced by conditioned thoughts of the world. We learn our actions cause reactions. We learn that we are either good or bad. We learn What is acceptable and what is not. That becomes our point of reference, removing us far away from what we were born with. After time and experiences it almost seems hopeless to return. 

It is true that seeing glimpses of it in movies and books confirms in our hearts that it does exist. We are told that it is only fantasy. That it is the fantasy we are craving. Not true. Our spirit is craving what we knew from the beginning. 

We need to take the time to find out what is unconditional love?is for ourselves instead of Depending on someone to do it for us. If we aren't clear on what it is how will our needs and desires get met? We expect someone to give us something but we aren't clear as to what that's something?is. Following that path, we will always be disappointed. We will always place people in position to let us down; all the while they have no idea what we are expecting from them. If we are unable to express our need in a clear manner there will be no one that will understand. If it is not clear to us it certainly will not be clear to them. 

Finding your true unconditional love means finding the true you. When was the last time you really focused on finding out who you really are? So in reading this, the answer sounds easy but how do you begin? Where do you start to begin this path of finding unconditional love? 

You must work through painful experiences that create anger or bitterness in you. Why did it happen? What was the lesson to be learned in it? Be grateful for the people that were put in your path to help you with that lesson, rather than resenting them for hurting you. It is absolutely impossible to unconditionally love yourself if you harbor bitterness, anger, guilt or any other feelings that are not love. 

When looking through your looking glass? you see things as you have been conditioned to see them. That woman smashed into the back of your new car because you feel you don't deserve to have a new car. The kids are disobeying you because they don't care about you. Your partner is angry because you blame them for things and it's not their fault. It's all bad luck; if it weren't for bad luck you'd have no luck. Hear that before? 

It's how you look at the lessons that will make your journey easy or difficult. Clean off your looking glass?and let's get started. 

? Focus on who you are. Write down all the qualities you know about yourself. For example; (You love helping people, You love working with children, You are creative and so on.) Write them down so you can actually see the wonderful qualities about yourself that you know are there. 

? Practice speaking out loud all of the things you deserve. You deserve that new car, you deserve people to respect you, and you deserve unconditional love. This is called affirmation. When your subconscious hears the words it starts to believe them. But you must do the work because no one will do it for you. You are in charge. 

? Find a way to return to times and places that bring up resentful, fearful feelings where your needs were not getting met. If you don't feel like you can do it alone, find a coach?or therapist, or a friend that will help you feel safe and loved during the times of recalling these events. Talk about them. Get honest, healthy, and safe feed back. Your ultimate idea of a bounce back partner is your life partner who is in your life to help you grow and heal these areas. The idea here is to recall them, feel them (pain and all), and then release them, let go to open up another room for unconditional love. 

Recalling the event or person will give you a starting point. Recall the people involved, recall how you felt, and what should have happened instead to meet your needs. How would you handle it today, knowing that you deserve to get your needs met, knowing that you deserve unconditional love, and knowing that in order to receive unconditional love you need to give it. 

Feel the pain that the event and people caused you. Go deep inside, feel the anger, feel the hurt, feel the rejection, feel the disapproval, feel how alone you were at that moment in your life. Cry.Cry. Cry. And when you are through crying all of the tears you have over it, think for a moment how that situation would be handled today, knowing that you deserve to get your needs met, knowing you deserve unconditional love, and knowing in order to receive unconditional love you need to give it. 

And finally, release the past, release the pain, and forgive. Forgive means to stop being angry about or resentful against, to relieve from payment of. To relieve from payment of the past is the step that will bring you to unconditional love. The world owes you nothing. You were born deserving it, so was everyone else. We are here on our journey's to help each other heal. 

Learning how to love yourself unconditionally., creating your dream love by being clear on what you are looking for and be sure that you are able to provide that for yourself before expecting someone to provide it for you, that's where you will find unconditional love. 

Hujan di waktu petang

Kenapalah skng ni hujan waktu petang?susah la nk pegi jogging cmni.asal kul 5pm jer, msti nak hujan..cuaca xmenentu la skng ni.adoi hai..xfhm tol.. tp xpela, dah tu kuasa tuhan,byk lak aku nk komplen.mcm mana la tuhan nk syg aku if mcm ni..

Monday, March 2, 2009

My Sargents & Me






Terima kasih Sargent Nora

Terima kasih, awk pndai wat risau sy hilang.Thnk you

2 milo tarik, teh o suam, limau ais, malboro menthol, lm merah, 2 org lelaki & 1 cerita tentang hidup

Tempat: mamak pelita ampang point

Cm pelik kan bler aku ckp aku lepak ngn megat sbb sebelum ni, mmg xpernah pun nk lepak per lagi nk borak sesama pasal benda2 serious dgn dia.Sbbnya ktorg ni berlainan group masa belajar.Aku group A, megat group B. A&B mmg xpernah nk ok bkn sbb bergaduh ke apa tp tak tau la.mmg cmtu kot if masa belajar dlu.ada kumpulan2 memasing, tp bile da keja, ktorg da jadi rapat mcm kawan baik.

So td, pegi la lepak pelita ampang point. dok g order air, tgk gelagat og, tgk lelaki yg suka taste maknyah, so smbil smoking ktorg pun bercerita la dari lelaki ke lelaki tentang hidup. Aku rasa happy bler megat ni dah ready nk ke phase hidup yg lagi satu.xtau kenapa tp aku happy.suka aku dgr sume kwn2 dah puas jadi bujang. dari sebatang ke sebatang rokok lagi, last2 dua-dua rokok dah hbis..seronok bler 2 org berkongsi benda yg sama.camna rasa jadi dewasa, cmne nk wat hidup kte lebih baik.sbb benda ni bukan sume org leh dok sama channel dgn kita.

megat, nti kte g pelita klcc lak la..

kenapalah saya propose dia hari tu!

Seriously, skang ni sy tak tau apa yg saya rasa.saya da konfius, awk tglkn sy tnpa apa2 arah. If let say awk tkut nk menolak sbb sy ni lecturer kwn awk, awk jgn risau, sy da cukup besar untuk berfikir, benda ni xkan effect ape2 kt kwn awk sbb apa2 yg jadi dia tetap student sy ,dia tetap adik sy. benda ni xde kena mengena dgn dia pun.its between us. 

Sy fikir2 blik, sy regret proposed awk aritu, if x benda xkn jadi mcm ni. sy dah wat awk berfikir, confius, takut, fobia..Sy lebih suka kte jadi mcm dlu,boleh msg2, sy tau ape yg awk wat, sy tau apa yg awk mkn etc.. tp look at now, sy dah xtau apa2 pasal awk, awk sihat ke, awk dah mkn ke, awk sakit ke, awk ada problem ke, ke awk dlm kesusahan ke.SAYA DAH TAK TAHU APA2.saya dah lost. tujuan sy tulis ni bukan untuk push awk, sbb cara sy layan awk tetap akn sama sebelum dan selepas sy propose awk. xkn berubah.mcmtulah.bkn sbb if sy da proposed, kte da kena share sume benda, buat sume benda sesama. saya tau, both of us are in unconditional love. Citer pasal kte ni xmembentuk apa2, so awk jgn risau.sy xpaksa awk untuk wat commitment dgn saya, kta boleh stick as fren if benda tu yg leh wat awk rasa lebih better, jgn jadikn apa yg sy propose kt awk dlu as beban..sy happy dgn awk, xkisah walau cmne pun condition dia. 

Mungkin awk rasa bila sy propose awk, benda yg saya nk target adalah untuk kwin.x awk silap. no,sy propose awk untuk wat awk lagi happy. mungkin awk happy before tp sy nak awk lebih happy dari dlu tp nmpk gaya sy da silap.sy wat awk lg misery.Sume salah sy.terlalu ikutkn kata hati.Sy propose awk untuk jadikan awk better person, sy proposed awk untuk bg jaminan kt awk, bukan untuk kwin tetapi sebagai manusia sesama manusia. terpulang pada awk untuk menilai.

Awk, if awk ada sikit rasa menyesal sebab bagi jawapan "YES" aritu, if awk nk tarik balik kata2 tu, teruskan, sy sikit pun xmarah sbb sy faham keadaan awk. Sy akn bagi awk sebanyak mana masa yg awk perlukan sbb sy tak kejar masa, tapi masa yg kejar saya. Sy org yg paling senang dlm dunia, sy xbyk syarat, sy xde byk hal, dan lg satu, jgn ingt if sy proposed awk, segala aktiviti awk akn bertumpu dgn sy, tak, sy xpernah halang awk, ingt apa yg sy pernah ckp dlu, awk wat la pepe yg awk nak as long awk tau batas2 dia.tu saja.

Sy xde mintak pepe just bg sy peluang untuk kenal awk, tolong awk sbb benda akn lebih elok if kte kongsi sesama.

sy mintk maaf sbb tulis pnjng2 pasal benda ni.

Donut, orange juice and inner being

i sat down moment before, enjoying every bites of my donut, slurping my orange juice, watching peoples passed me by and coincedently someone came behind my back ah shouted "hoi shez!, wei bkn main lagi ko picnic kt sini?" am quite suprised, a faces once i know for quite some times. Wow, it was my frens, both of them. Nina and lina ; a twins i known since my kindergarten days. How could i forget them, my 1st buddy at my kindergarten. "hey, its u..its u, ya allah lama xjumpa, so how's everything?" i said to them. 

As i remember, last time i've met them it was 5 years ago when both of them further their study to florida.Oh my god, out of places, y i've met them in a playground? huhuhu. nothing much as in our conversations revolved on our kindergarten, and schoolhood times. 

"hahahha, do u remember when our music teacher look for u when u ponteng kelas music?, ktorg ingt ko g panjat pagar cabut rupanya dok dlm toilet".hahahaha.wat a funny moments back then.

Yes, i hated music lessons, never learnt anything. Plus the teacher was suck. Anyway, i shared my donuts with them then i popped out one question; do u girls already married?

Yes, we do! wow, both of u?.Yes they said.ohh..thn lina started to asked me some questions, "hey, wut bout u shez?, do u?" i said to them "No" thn i continue "no im not, nobody wants me" i replied. 

Then they talked bout love. talking bout inner being. Yes, something that i well aware and sure. I love someone not as the present and appearance, not say it's not count but i will looked foward to their inner being. How they look like inside, their heart, their self. Yes, i do love women; their inner being. 

For quite sometimes, i chased girl who are pretty, tall, cute looking and at the end, i've got nothing in fact, i am crashed, cracked and puff..died! beep...beep...beeeeeeeeeeeeppppppp...

Sunday, March 1, 2009

My love for u unconditional love too and you're love for me unconditional i see..

Doesn't really matters, it doesn't matters at all. It doesn't matters what ur frens are telling you, doesn't really matters what my family's saying too. it just matters that i'm in love with u, it only matters that u love me too.
It doesn't matters if they won't accept u, i'm accepting of u and the things u do, just as long as it's u, nobody but u.
My love 4 u, unconditional love too, gotta get up and show u that "doesnt really matters what the eye is seeing, cause i'm in love with the inner being and doesnt matter what they believe, what matters to me is you're in love with me".
You're so kind, just what i asked for, u're so loving and kind and u're mine and i can't believe you're mine (perasan!)
"Doesnt matter if you're feeling insecure, doesnt matter if u're feeling so unsure cause i'll take away the doubt within ur heart and show that my love will never hurt or harm."
Doesnt matter what the pain u go through, doesnt matter if the money gone too, just as long as am with u.
U're love for me, unconditional i see.i cant believe my dreams come true, i've finally found somebody whose heart is true and best of all u love me too (perasan lg!) 

"perasan btul la aku arini"-shez

I hate you all!

Monday, monday blues. i hate monday as well as other days.
Well, i hated everyday from monday to sunday. Meaningless, empty.


Viva DIJ + Dinner besama encik kucai

last friday, semua lecturer tlh dijemput ke final presentation DIJ kt Kem Kentoman jalan ipoh. Ok la sume bdk2 ni, agak berbakat jadi wartawan, tp yg xbestnya, kenapa sy,fareha & hafizul telah ditempatkn dimeja number 13 bersama encik kucai. tp kenapa encik kucai ada disana skali? sapa yg jemput dia tu?

encik kucai tu merapu, blum pepe lg dia da bedal 3 gelas sirap, amik cupcake saya, yg pasti bler time makan, dia yg sental gegiler.sy jadi cm pelik, pastu ktorg plak kt meja tu dok gelak2 berbalas msg mengutuk encik kucai.

Adoi ai..encik kucai encik kucai, sy jadi cm culture shock sket tgk dia.no wat lawak tp xkelakar, cm sakit hati ada la..hahahahaha

tapi yang paling best biler cik harnani sedondon dgn encik kucai.hahahahahahahahah.sori nani.hehehe..pastu bler majlis tu nak berakhir kan, encik kucai pegi ke meja sume g amik sume kipas tgn yg dorg kasi as gift,adoi dlm beg dia tu sy rasa ada lebih dari 10 kipas tgn.

nak balik pun satu hal, ktorg terpaksa menyorok2 dari encik kucai sbb dia nk tumpang.adoi ai encik kucai.anda sungguh mengelikan hati!

Merepek time: Nama saya Shah

The following questions are useful for any artist or band if they are serious about conducting their music careers as a business. Thoughtful, honest, and detailed answers to these questions will help prepare the artist or band in writing bios, fact sheets, and any press releases that are necessary for marketing and promoting their music, and will assist them in evaluating their current career status.


Name of Artist/Band?
Wan-Tanah-Merah..heheh sy la segalanya,dari main gitar sampai ke menyanyi sampai la bwk keta

Is your stage name trademarked?
belum sempat daftar lg,sbb pejabat tu ramai sgt org beratur.sy  celebrity, mana leh kena panas sgt

Have you filed your songs for copyright protection?
if da nk wat trademark ngn tmpt nk wat copyright tu sama, dah tentu la blum.ding dong btul la wartawan ni..ko ni dari mana ni? Tamil naidu?

Have any of your songs been published?
Dah haritu masa ada pesta wayang kulit kt kok lanas.tok dalang nama abu yg mainkan lgu sy

Have you affiliated with a performance rights organization?
oh skang ni sy join PBSM & pengakap

What is your background?
Saya background xde apa sgt la, just dlu main rekoder masa sekolah

Do you have a written 'band agreement'?
Agreement? sama cam surat pajak ke?

Why do you want to record and release your own music?
mesti la nak, skang ni record pkai handphone jer

Who is your fan/customer?

Ape ko tnya ni?.nk cari fan pegi la kedai letrik..nk cari kipas nk tnya aku plak.customer pegi la tnya kt kedai

What are your songs about?
my song is about myself.

Do you write your own songs?
Ada tulis aritu..nama lagu dia lagu laga..lalalalalalalalalala

Who are your musical influences?
The beatles
How do you describe your music to people?
Mcm kaum asli temiar kt pahang

What image do you think your music conveys?
Convey tu sama ngn connie dog kt A&W ke?

What are your immediate music career goals?
Nak bli handphone baru sbb skng ni yg lama boleh record seminit jer.xde memori kad

What are your long-term career goals?
Nak menang moto!

Do you have a demo or press kit, or any promotional materials?

ada tapi dah hbis dah..sy guna burung merpati untuk promosi

Maaflah ye, temuramah ni terpaksa dihentikan, rupanya kumpulan Wan-Tanah-Merah ni org xbetul..


Bila rasa ku ini rasa mu.Sanggupkah engkau?

"Aku memang terlanjur mencintaimu
Dan tak pernah ku sesali itu
Seluruh jiwa rela ku serahkan
Mengenang janji setiaku"
- sammy kerispatih

Seriously i really like this lyric, this song, the way they write this lyric, the ideas, the melody and the meaning behind this song. This is isn't just a normal song but a life to be precise.
This song tells you about how this guy loves this girl so much. 
Kekadang rasa cm sayu bler dgr lagu ni especially bila malam. sy tak tau kenapa tp lagu ni mmg ada intrinsic meaning. Pengorbanan seorang lelaki kepada teman wanita yg buta hatiny yg tak nmpk apa yg telah dikorbankn. 
Sy tak nafikan mmg lelaki ni ego, ada satu perasaan tak mau kalah, dan tidak akn menurunkn ego dan air mukanya dengan senang, tetapi bila lelaki mula hilang egony kpd sorg wanita, ia bermakna lelaki dah mula menyayangi wanita tersebut tapi apa yg terjadi dlm lagu ini, wanita tidak mengendahkn perasaan lelaki tersebut tp menggunakannya sebagai satu alasan untuk berselingkuh. salahkan if kami sbg lelaki terlalu mencintai kamu wahai kaum wanita? kte sume manusia, ada hati dan perasaan, sejauh mana kita lari, kita akn blik ke asalan semula kerana dunia ni bulat.

Hujan di waktu senja


Asyik hujan jer hari ni, dari kul 4 tadi smpai la sekarang. adoi, sy da bosan la mcmni, byk aktiviti tergendala. sy jadi bosan plus i've got nowhere to go, got no one to text, go nobody to kacau.

today are the loneliness day ever in my life. ever since morning, i've got nothing to do, i starred at my 4 walls, i do starred at skies, watching birds flown above my head, watched them sings. Some people enjoyed it but not me. I tend to get bored with this feelings, feeling empty, guilty by my decisions. i took a deep breath, thinking deeply and question my act. Am i rite doing this? am i too pushy? am i put a hope that makes her feel uncomfortable?

I well aware the problem, i know but i just don't want her to think that she'll endup like that. Internal conflict, riotism emotion breakdown and afraid of a tied. i don't prefer to used word commintment because i one of them, someone afraid to commit something. I'll never get bored of her instead i never get enough of her. I want more.I want more and more and more.

I already talked to my sis in penang, glad she knows how to makes me calm and i calmed with her words, with the things she told me last night. Thanks sargent. I told her everything, i told her sincerely. Its ok, your brother is ok. don't u worry. Thanks for your words, your thought and all. I appreciate it so much. 

Hujan still turun dan sy tak tau nk buat apa.. i've posted many entries for the past 2 days. As far as i concern, i am still happy and to my special someone; i know u're been busy with your quizes, notes and stuffs. Just one simple msg from u could set me free from this boredom.Hope u will do well for your quizes. I wish u goodluck and lots of love.

shez

to all my beloved 174 students

Thnks to show up everyday, thats for listening to what i say, thnks for the laughter, thnks for everything, there's lot i've learnt from u. we shared all the secrets, all the stupid jokes. Thank You.

To Nora: thanks ya, suka tgk awk g mengacau si alya,fatin sume.hehehe i trust u can be a good marketer soon walaupun awk tulis yg awk xkn jadi marketer.Pecaya la ckp sy

To Fatin: sorry sbb slalu mengacau awk pasal bunkface, spa-Q, dan byk benda lagi.sy cipta formula pastu guna nama awk. Thnks sbb bg nail clipper from korea.sy suke.pastu awk mungkin xsesuai jadi marketer tapi awk sesuai untuk jadi brand exec sbb brand awareness awk tinggi

To Zhareef: goodluck for the upcoming something, thnks sbb awk jgk slalu jadi mangsa dlm class oleh kerakusan cik nora.ehehehe xpe. itu yg sy nk dlm class, suasana yg awk selesa. neway awk xboleh jadi marketer, awk xboleh jd brand exec sbb awk akn cepat gabra tp awk akn jadi a good publicist.

To Allya: Thnks, awk jgn jadi mangsa sy dan semua dlm kelas.sorry if awk ada mrh ngn sy ke apa ke. pastu awk sesuai jadi Brand analyst sbb awk ni jenis yg pemalu..senyap sgt pastu cepat cm terlupe, so brand analyst akn buat research sbb awk kuat ke arah situ..mungkin marketer n publicist bkn bidang awk

To Alin: Ni sorg lagi..slalu masuk lewat tp xpe, as long as awk dtg and also a brother to me. alin, awk sesuai jadi brand exec mcm fatin, walaupun awk slalunye "man-man" jer sume benda tp awk still ada awareness yg baik

To Dale: Strong knowledge, good student.Awk sy percaya akn jadi marketer & brand exec yg bgus.sbb awk lengkap dengan semua.

To Yati: Awk xboleh nk jadi marketer untuk company tp awk lebih sesuai jadi marketer untuk brand sbb awk ada memori yg kuat untuk mengingat semua benda.walaupun awk xsuka presentation tp sy tau awk leh buat.awk je memain.hehehe

To Ain: Thnks sbb jadi kawan YM memalam, awk juga sesuai jadi marketer mcm yati. sbb awk ada strong communication and active. it just awk je xnmpk potential awk tu.goodluck in marriage life nti n jgn lupa jemput saya

To Linda: linda, awk ada satu daya ingatan yg kuat, awk sesuai untuk bidang event. sy lebih prefer if awk kerja di bidang event sbb sy dah tgk potential awk bekerja masa carnival miim. 

To Rita: sy xboleh nk comment awk pepe sbb awk xslalu ada dlm class.tp goodluck in ape2 yg awk nk cuba later.

To Mr.Shah: awk akn disoal masa akhirat nti if awk xajar budak2 ni btul2. 

Thnks again to u all.u guys/girls are really good students/brother/sister to me. thnks