My brother's engagement @ KULIM
Half of my family;
Sitting from left: Abah, mama, caca, sharinaz (my future s-i-l) apis (bakal pengantin), alicia keys, azim.
Bended from left: busu yah, shidah, amkcik yati, alia, anor, general shez, mira
standing from left:syaborel, ateh, ina, nabila (yg terlindung),amir, abg lan, ijai
Just had my lunch, nasi with masak lemak ketam & udang (both are not my favourite) and sambal belacan. 2 glasses of ice-cream soda and am done. Seriously i hate seafoods not just because i allergy to it but seafoods are taking lot of time to enjoy. U have to peel the skin, smack the shells etc.. adoii sampai mati aku xdpt makan benda tu.benda yg menyusahkn ni mmg aku xsuka.lebih suka makan ikan or ikan bilis..senang, telan jer, xde susah2. but overall, mama mmg pandai masak.
p/s: heheheh mama nak rm10, nk bli topup, xkuar duit lg...
to mama: jgn la masak benda2 yg menyusahkan ni..kte dah xramai kt umh ni, caca & azim da xde kt umh, tgl boy ngn apis jer, ktorg pun bkn slalu mkn kt umh..membazir jer masak lauk2 cm ni mama. duit tu simpan kte g mkn burger king lg bgus.heheheh oraite x mama?
Suka & syg adalah 2 benda yg berbeza. Ramai yg keliru, ramai yg tak tau dan ramai yg tak dapat membezakan di antara 2 perkataan itu.Begitu juga dengan perasaan, cinta dan benci. bagaimana 5 rasa ini dikaitkan?
Suka: Suka adalah satu perasaan dimana ada batas- batas dan had. Suka hanya untuk sementara. Manusia masih lagi akn mementingkan diri sendiri dan tidak berkongsi apa2. tak melibatkn perasaan. selalunya rasa suka manusia tidak membawa mereka ke mana2 tetapi peluangan untuk ke sayang adalah terbuka cuma manusia perlu pandai dan bijak untuk mencarinya. Perasaan tidak selalunya hadir dalam suka.
Syg: seperti suka, syg juga adalah satu perasaan tetapi tiada btsan dimana manusia akn mengabaikan diri sendiri demi org lain, akn mementingkn org lain lebih dari diri sendiri dan disini, syg juga akan melibatkn perasaan dimana perasan akn memusnahkna batas- batas dan had yg telah tercipta dari awal mula.
Perasaan: Perasaan adalah satu komponen dalam sayang dimana ia akn menarik syg lebih jauh dari satu tahap ke tahap yg lebih tinggi. disini, manusia tidak mengendahkan lagi apa yg terjadi disekeliling mereka. Mereka lebih suka bermain dlm dunia yg mereka cipta. bergembira berdua. Perasaan juga adalah satu komponen yg sensitive, fleksibel dan mudah pecah. Untuk meningkant kn tahap ke'syg'an, kta perlu menjaga perasaan dgn lebih berhati2. Perasaan akan berperanan untuk menolak rasa syg lebih jauh dan jauh dan kegagalan untuk menjaga perasaan akan mengakibatknnya jatuh ke tahap yg rendah, terdalam iaitu benci
Cinta: Cinta adalah satu destinasi yg dituju oleh syg yang dipandu oleh perasaan. Cinta adalah umpama syurga manusia. Disini manusia akn di duga dengan bermacam2 benda dan pekara. idak semua yg berjaya sampai ke cinta akan terus kekal di situ. Di cinta, manusia akn lebih menghargai apa yg mereka ada, apa yg terlihat didepan mata. Disini juga manusia akn kelihatan gembira, ketawa dan menangis keriangan sbb mereka telah mencapai satu tahap yg paling tinggi dan ada juga yg menangis kesedihan kerana perasaan yg memandu mereka untuk ke cinta pecah, berteraburan disebabkan rasa ego, marah dan tidak percaya. Bukankah cinta umpama syurga? knp ada perasaan yg negative begini? ini disebabkan cinta mempunyai byk definisi. cinta adalah luas,if tiada panduan, kita akn sesat dan kesesatan boleh memudaratkan.dan bila ia mula memusnahkn manusia, secara automatiknya manusia akn jatuh ke benci
Benci: seperti cinta, benci juga merupakan suatu tempat umpama neraka. Jika cinta itu luas, benci pula sempit, ia akn terus menyempitkan fikiran manusia yg ada di dalamnya. sedih, marah dan rasa tidak percaya adalah penghuni tetap tempat dipanggil benci ni. Manusia akn terus bertelagah, hilang punca dan seterusnya membawah padah kepada mereka. setiap tindak tanduk manusia tidak lagi berpandukan kepada akal dan fikiran. Tidak perlu perasaan untuk ke benci, kerana jalan kebenci adalah seperti lubang, manusia akan mengelungsur deras terus ke destinasi. manusia yg berada didalam benci akan mengambil masa yg lama untuk sedar untuk kembali kepada cinta. Ada juga yg berjaya untuk kembali tetapi selebihnya akn terus menghuni didalam benci.
Tiba- tiba sy b'rasa sunyi. tak tau knp tp tu yg sy rasa. tetibe sy rasa dunia ni mcm senyap. xde bunyi kereta, tiada bunyi moto, tiada bunyi ape2.sy pun tak tahu kenapa. sy pernah rasa mcm ni dlu.serata alam mcm dah xde penghuni dan sy seorang dlm dunia ni. Kenapa sy rasa mcm ni?
Kenapa sy rasa mcm ni? mengapa jadi mcm ni? apa yg wat smpai boleh jadi mcm ni?
jgn tnya saya sbb sy sendiri pun tak tau kenapa. Tapi tu lah hakikat hidup.Kalau hidup ni boleh di definisikan semula, sy akn tulis bhw hidup ni mcm satu dunia dan saya lah yg menghuni dunia ni. apa yg terjadi dlm hidup sy adalah umpama pergolakan politik,krisis kewangan dan isu perperangan dan pelbagai lagi isu-isu yg ada. dan dunia sy telah mengalami satu krisis. Sy tak perlu tabung sumbangan untuk bangkit, sy tak perlukan pertikaman lidah di parlimen untuk bangkit, sy xperlukan pendedahan akhbar untuk satu dunia tau sy menghadapi krisis.
otak umpama parlimen, disana, sy membahaskan bermacam-macam pekara, beribu2 isu, sy mengubal undang-undang disana, membincangkan segala macam masalah yg dihadapi demi untuk mengembirakan pentabdir dunia sy. Mata sebagai pemerhati dan mulut sebagai badan perhakiman berkanun.dimana segala benda yg dibahaskan di parlimen akn dicerna dan digunapakai disini
Jantung umpama penasihat, tanpa penasihat, dunia sy akn runtuh dan empayar sy akn hilang. Hati sebagai pentadbir dimana setiap apa yang dilakukan, kata akhirnya adalah pada hati. Semua rasa, semua deria dan semua pancaindera bergantung pada hati untuk tindak tanduk seterusnya. Tanpa hati kita mati, dan dengan hati juga kita binasa.
Otak berputar tapi sy masih xjumpa alasan utama kenapa sy berasa sunyi.dunia sy sunyi.sgt sunyi. Sy xsuka mcm ni.
One synonym for the word kindness is the term of humanity. Kindness is essentially a regiqnition of the fact that we're all human, an acknowledgement that we're all in this together. "Most of what makes life worth living depends on at least some of us being altruistic some of the time".We cannot address problems like global climate change, the spread of disease and political violence by appealing only to selfish motives.
The good news is that it's easy to train ourselves to be kinder.People should simply do more acts of kindness than they usually do, and do them on regular basis. Kindness, then just a matter of choice- an attitude you carry with u that u can make a difference, however small, in someone else's life.
Kindness has to begin within ourselves. Sometimes we lock people out to keep ourselves safe, but that also isolates us from the rest of universe.Every major religion has love as universal principle.Kindness takes love to a gentler and more accessible level that most people feel comfortable with. Showing a little bit of kindness to people regoqnises that everyone around u is just like yourself.
As usual, sunday come again and same old thing happened to me. My mum will never let me sleep overtime on weekend. My mum woke me up on 8am. Knocked my door and said "awk, beli breakfast,tlg mama bli breakfast" oh no! not again! am too tired and still sleepy to go outside, to drive or to do anything. "I don't want, i don't want" i replied and she said "ala..tolong la boy beli"..oh she's the love of my love, my mama, my one and only mama..i pun bangun la, cuci muka, gosok gigi ambil kunci keta thn pegi beli sarapan and bila da sampai sana bru perasan; "Ya Allah, aku pkai selipar sblh lain,sebelah lain"
Ahh what the hell, to lazy too turned back so i just walked to the stall act like nothing happen. Succeeded! xde sapa perasan!heheheheh
so Good morning sunday! i hate u!
Goodbye Mashy, i will let u go. It takes too long to find the replacement but now i already met someone. I know its crazy to write down for you since you no longer around. but i wanted to tell u how special she was. I've met her courtesy to my student; my beloved sargent Nora, my sister and also a good student. U said before that someday, i will achieved my hapinesswith other but not u and this is the day Mashy, i've got her. remember the day we argued bout love? bout how silly i was thinking bout love?how shallowed i am to define love? Now i begins to understand as whole what you been talking about. Thanks Mashy. U have tought me a lot with your words. Years now since u been gone. rest assured my dear. Elly da xnk ingt pasal mashy lagi.i've got someone who already eased my years of sadness and painful. Elly will leave u and our past behind, elly nk move foward ya Mashy. I know u cant hear what am saying about but selagi mashy ada elly xboleh nk sayang org lain. Now i da jumpa org yg i sayang, Sorry Mashy, i'm goin to miss u
Dear my special someone,
I just got back from seremban. Here i am eager to write some note for you but i really not sure when u gonna visits my blog again. Hey, i wanna tell u something; The ILU words i've said to you and u replied ILU too was a sacred to me. I never mentioned it to any of my exs since the death of Mashy. She was my 2nd ex that totally opened up my eyes what is true love means. Frankly, entire life, i have only 5 exs involved with me and she i loved the most but god loved her ore than i do. I never said ILU to irena, shazwani,ct or illyani. I heard they grumbling bout that but the fact,its not i don't love but they are being fake all the time.After all, they fake it really good, i've been stabbed,cheated, and dumped. I rarely mentioned the words to anyone except Mashy.
And am quite suprised when i managed to said that to u easily as easy as Mashy. It shows how much u mean to me. Mashy has open up my eyes, my mind by showing me the wider definition of love. Love just not a passionate, not just a feeling but love is life and life is about two people help each other to be a better person, love is about how both of u enjoy and trust each other, love is not about how happy u are but how long u lived. I learnt that with her. Love is not bout kisses, huggings or datings but it is about how bout of u establish the mutual respect, the solid understanding, and firm roots.
I found that in you. Eventhough u never show me tangibly but i can see it in your eyes, your sing of body language. That is why i really love you. God tested my before. Taken Mashy, make me sad thn god sent me fakers for a reason.So when finally i meet up my true soul, i will appreciate her so much. Than god sent you. I saw u, i like you and i loved u.
For me, it was the greatest treasure i ever had beside my family. I respected you, and what's more important; i loved u. Even the first day i saw you, i just cant say anything, in front of u i am numbed, clue-less. The day i said "ILU too" are the day i made up my mind, this is the moment, this is the time. never let her lose on sight because god's gift is only for a while. Make used everything to love, to hold,to grab u so u will never far.
I've started to fall in love for the first time at age of 16. I've met Mashy at age 19 and she died year after. what more regretted is i never had a chance to say i love her for the last time.She passed away in front of me and i do still remember the last minute of her dying moment she said "elly, i letih la, i rasa xlarat i nk tido" and forget to mentioned, she was in hospital at that time because of heart problem. I've said to her "i've got something to say but its ok la u, u letih jer darls, xpela,u tido dlu,nti u da tido i blik" and i holds her hands, and sat down beside her and after a while, doctors rushed to her room and there she goes, lying on the bed, souless, no breaths, paled and numbed. The doctor said to me that she already passed away.
At that moment, only god knows how painful i was, how devistated i was. I wnted to cry but no tear, i want to shout but my voice is kept inside, i cried heavily inside, my hearts are shattered into pieces that i can't amend anymore.I regretted, mad at myself but she was wiser, too wise, she left a note on her phone. "Elly, i wntd you to be happy but u cant have it with me, remember, i left you not because i don't love you but god love me more than you do" I remained silent for a year. once a bubbly guy has turned into a really lone, a lone person.
what am trying to tell you my special someone; am not comparing you with her, but i love you just the way i love her. I wnted you to be my special someone until the time god says "shez, your time is up". I began to loved u and i do understand your situation, your problems and all.So take your time, i'll wait for u with smiles, and i will be glad if we can share the problem, we'll find the solutions, so help me to help u to help us to be better person.I don't want to regret anymore for the 2nd time because you are my special someone and i love you so.
so if u read this entry, rest assured, because am entirely for you because "ILU" and "ILU" all the time.
Shah Al Zefflee Rosli
Hello readers, i just got back from seremban; singing all the way. Sy suka menyanyi walaupun saya tau suara sy sumbang.hehehehe. Had fun tonite meeting up with my best lads (shahril & azfar- thnks to be there when needed) Had my breakaway tonite, released my tension,eased my stressfull mind from work heatic and all.For 3 hours, surely we went really wild and xsenonoh with the choice of bad song selection
Here are the list of songs i've sang tonite:
1) Haruskah ku mati-ada band
2) Bukan org suci-element
3) Hello-lionel richie
4) kuch kuch hota hei- shahrukhkhan
5) kasih berubah- ferhad
6) all my life- foo fighter
7) Together again- janet jackson
8) bila resah-anuar zain
9) lovestoned-justin timberlake
9songs has been ruined by me.hahahaha.But anyway am happy
"mak aihh, byknyer lagu aku nyanyi..cm diva la plak tp sayang xsempat nyanyi lagu kerispatih-tapi bukan aku"-shez
After that, i rushed back to KL, texted my special someone asked how do her do and here i am now, writing this blog to tell how how i fell
p/s: sorry,no pics sbb kami xbawak camera-we're not cam whore
Hari kejadian: 25 feb 09, tempat kejadian: Pizza Hut Aeon Au2
I am revealing everything now. No secretive, there's no secret, proud to have her. So secret has been revealed. I shouted it on my wall at Facebook "Shaz says am happy with Raja Nurfatin Ameera!" but is it she feel the same as i do? 
Yesterday, i have bought one box full of this cupcakes, a tiny cupcakes filled with hearts everywhere. Bought from lovely aunty mona. She's a cupcake maker and the "riuh"maker..Sigh..bising la mulut dia..tp dia baik hati. Bought this cakes for RM80. I personally asked the color to be like that.hehehe. At first i tot it gonna be a flop because of the color but it turned out really outstanding.
"clap hand, clap hands for me"-shez
so enjoy the view.U can c but you cant eat it because it is all mine.mine...mine...whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
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How bout it? The 3 words that unite people merely separated into an item. The words that entire people in universe can understand. The words who no need the translation because it was an unique language, a taboo, a mystic and the what more important - a sharing words where 2 peoples starts to adjusted, adapted, amended and vowed not to go far away from each other.
Btw, i'm Shez, the "monkey" guy.Wrote this entry by myself because my personal writer; Ell is been busy taking a bath! (what the hell, what time is it now!) This is my story, a not-so-daily report of me. Hehehe
It was a few days back when both of us (my special someone) sms'es each other. I think on that time; "This is it, this is the moment i should say it to you or i'll regret it myself" and after a while i texted her said; "u,there is so many reason y am attracted to you beside your big wide brown eyes and bla..bla..bla..(too long to write + malu lah) thn my phone beeped: she replied "but u can at lest tell me one of those reasons, do u?" thn i replied i said; "i think i like u, yes i do" then she silent. I've said to myself; oh god..this is what am fear of, a rejection. then all of sudden, it beeped again said "am speechless" and we started to texted more and more until one point, she popped one question for me; "you like me as what?"
"Ehh..y i tell u all this story huh?xyah la baca..malu la..ok la ok la..i continue my entry"- shez
Thn with a guts, i typing to my special someone " i like u more thn frens" a simple words but cause me a lot of heart beats and anxious fear.Damn!. For about 10 seconds, i swear, it was the nervous moment in my life..can't wait to hear what she thinking. My phone beeped again.."beep, beep..i opened the sms and.......ayooo my mama msg plak tnya "awk jgn lupa pegi bg kucing makan" haishh kacau btul, then followed with the second msg. I refused to open the msg, doubtful and it can be a devistated time-bomb but when i open it i can't believe what i saw.
1 msg from Raja " Same goes to me.=) " i started to smiles but still can't say anything. I'm happy, happy for entire life.
"ehh poyo la aku ni,tulis cam ni..ingt nk wat cerpen ke"-shez
this story not just end here. i'll write my 2nd part of "The first "ILU" "
