Hmmmm

gler lama xtulis blog ni, dah berabuk dah since last entry pasal sweater kontroversi tu.huhu. neway i had nothing in mind actualy to wirte but i try my best. guess i have lost my touch.shit tol.last friday am off to malacca, back to my homtown to celebrate my youngest cousin's birthday. Her six candles.

back to me now, sighh...byk mengeluh weekend ni, tak tau kenapa, mcm ada benda yg tak kena. mcm ada yg tak betul,everything seem wont complete, it feels like something's missing but i just dont know what. My emotions, i tend to get mad easily for a small nonsense things, i tend to smoke a lot this weekend. While am wrote this entry, i on my 14packs of cigarattes. (14=1 pack/ 14pack x 14cigarattes = 100 over cigarattes for friday, saturday & sunday)

so i try to make myself happy by pretending. A clown. A crowning myself with a clown. Smiles a bit, jokes a bit and am done.huhu am happy, clap hands clap hands..

Tak tau kenapa tetiba sikap panas baran datang balik mungkin sbb dari the class insident last friday when new student dtg daftar subject s123; my class. masuk2 pastu cari gaduh ngn my studnet. I jadi mcm naik hangin. i said to him

"if sesapa rasa nk amik my class just nk ckupkn credit hour, silakan keluar sbb i xnk student yg mcm ni dlm class, like a worm in an apple. u ruin everything. I treat u like my frens, i respect u like my fren, like my student but with ur crappy attitude, u just make me so fuckup. I respect u so i hope i can gain the same respect. and if u rasa u dun like the way i am, the way i teach or the way i dress, u can go and report to admin, to your parent, i just dont give a damn bout it, in fact its not i need miim, but they need me. so go and report. i just dont give a fucking shit damn bout it. if korg rasa nk blaja dlm keadaan yg mcm ni, nk tgk kebiadapan sy, the other half of me, so try me, if u nk tgk hidup u susah kt dlm miim, luar miim, they try cross my border.try me."

I rasa mybe sbb tu kot now i rasa mcm xde hati nk mengajar, sbb apa yg i try bentuk n terapkn dlm sume class yg i mengajar dah kena cemar ngn student yg mcm haram.Sial btul. 

I try to create new kind of environment where studnet and lecturer can be together as fren, so dorg akn freely to express themself but with a respect. Now my experimental tu mcm useless. for 3 semester, i terapkn dlm sume class. If korg yg baca blog ni tak percaya, korg boleh tnya nora, alin, fatin,reef, alya,dale,yati,atong,nana,ali,danial and the geng, zet, fitri, eiza,lydia sume how i mengajar dorg dlm class. Its a experimental teaching method yg dah lama diapplykn kt US but not in malaysia. I created a round chair method untuk sume studnet n i duduk dlm bulatan sama level, be humble and sama status; as human untuk bincng, untuk nk fhm korg mcmmana and nk tolong korg untuk jadi better person, better thn me but if mcm ni punya perangai, u just making a mess dlm class.

Jgn ingt bler i mengajar kt miim ni, i akn abide ngn korg sume, no, i xpnh rasa tkut ngn ancaman korg ke hapa ke it just i respect u as human, as student, as kawan, as brother n sisters. Sbb i tak batak sgt ngn duit yg parent korg laburkn untuk fees. it just am here to help u jadi better. 

itu yg sy rasa now. Sy syg student sy it just sumtimes dorg yg xsyg sy.

i hope i can get respects from them as much as i give to them.

for all student yg sy dah pernah ajar, i wishes u all the best in life, in upcoming semester, in final exam, buat elok2 eventho sy dah bukan lecturer korg sume but i will always around for u guys, girls if korg perlukn advices, help or consultations. and for those yg xpernah sy ajar, u always welcome to see me for advices, help etc sbb sy xpernah nk ada barrier untuk xnk tau masalah mrk yg bukan my student. I am easy person, so dont be afraid, i wont bite. 

Sy syg students sy.