Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sukarnya menyatakan "Sy sayang Awk"

Pernahkah korg sume terlintas bahawa perkataan sy sayang awk tu adalah satu perkataan yg sukar untuk korg nyatakn? Susah sgt kah untuk menyatakan 3 patah ayat tu yg mungkin akn ubah hidup korg sume?

Mengapa kita lebih mudah untuk berkata sy mintak maaf dari saya sayang awk? adakah mintk maaf atas kesalahan yg kita lakukan tu lagi senang dari nk menunjukkan yg korg syg seseorg yg penting?

Mungkin korg sanggup lihat org yg sebenarnya korg syg tu pergi berlalu tnpa mengehtahui yg sebenarnya dia tak bertepuk sebelah tgn?

As for me, yes, saying i love you to someone is far more difficult than saying please forgive me. Sometimes things xboleh dipaksa, sama juga dgn perasaan sbb if kta paksa untuk berkata "sy syg awk" bermakna kita tipu diri sendiri dan apa yg kita ckp tu tak benar.Satu kenyataan yg palsu yg mungkin akn makan diri kemudiannya.

Am writing down based on my personal experience where i did fall in love with someone but its hard for me to say the words to her. pada saya, rasa sayang tu xdpt nk ditunjukn dgn kata2. Bila kita berkata sayang, xsemestinya hati kita mengiyakan benda yg kita tunjuk or ckpkn. Tapi sebenarnya ada baiknya kita luahkan apa yg kita rasa pada org yg kita suka@sayang.Sebabnya, ini menunjukkn yg kita inginkn satu komitmen yg kukuh, as mutual understanding of relationship. Cinta tak kan berjalan lancar tanpa kata2 sayang sbb kata2 tu menunjukkn yg kta btul2 serious terhadap seseorang tu tapi itu lah yg sy alami selama ni. Betapa susahnya untuk sy katakan sy sayang awk pada seseorang

Sy jadi trauma bila ingin mengatakan 3 patah ayat tu kerana ayat tu slalunya akn berakhir dgn satu kesedihan, Sy jadi takut untuk bercinta apatah lagi untuk melafazkn kata2 syg tu. Sy rasa, sy dah xboleh bangkit untuk hidup secara berpasangan, sy jadi takut, trauma, fobia bkn kerana pasangan sy tetapi disebabkn diri sendiri. Sy dah jadi tak yakin pada diri sendiri, kehendak dan keperluan sy untuk ada pasangan sy endahkan , sy buat tak tahu tetapi pada masa yg sama, sy berperang dgn diri sendiri untuk katakan YA kepada CINTA.

Sy dah tak percaya pada cinta, sy dah tak percaya pada hidup berpasangan sbb benda ni semua adalah satu keserabutan yg teramat dahsyat untuk sy lalui sekali lagi. Semua perasaan yg ada pada saya tu dah lama sy palsukn, i even fake myself, pretend to be happy but i am not. Sy tak tau jalan mana lagi yg sy nk lalu untuk cari satu kebahagian. For me, its getting fade and fade thn dissappear.

Sebenarnya perasaan gembira tu bkn bilamasa kita ada dalam satu relationship. Perasaan gembira tu timbul dimana bila pada pertama kali kita melihat seseuatu/seseorang. Satu kuasa yg mendorong kita untuk menghasilkan satu persaan gembira yg terlebih dan wujud satu kuasa yg sy panggil keberanian dan kepercayaan pada diri sendiri yg begitu kuat untuk mendapatkn apa yg kita lihat td. Tanya pada diri sendiri, kenapa masa sebelum "kita" jadi satu item, kita tak pernah bergaduh, apa yg sy buat semuanya btul dan kenapa awk tidak mengongkong saya dlu"?

tp lihat bila 2 manusia tu dah gabungkn hati mereka menjadi satu, apa yg jadi? 70% pasangan tak pernah bertahan bila benda ini terjadi. Kongkongan, gaduh,cemburu tak bertempat, rasa tidak percaya tapi tgk bila benda ni terjadi?Hnya apabila sudah menjadi satu pasangan.

jadi jika untuk datangkan perasaan untuk percaya pada diri sendiri dan keberanian untuk mendapatkn seseorang itupun sukar untuk saya wujudkn, mampukah sy untuk melalui satu lagi perhubungan? Begitulah jadinya jika sukar untuk menyatakan "Sy sayang Awk"

jadi untuk semua, tak terlambat untuk korg nyatakan yg korg syg pada pasangan korg sume, untuk ibu bapa sementara masih ada masa

dan saya? hanya tuhan yg tahu.....

Friday, April 24, 2009

Rancangan Jahat yg Mengembirakan! Selamat Hari Jadi Kepada Saya!







RANCANGAN JAHAT YG MENGEMBIRAKAN 1

Tempat: KFC Setiawangsa (Level 2)

Org2 Jahat: Nora, Reef, Fatin, Alyn, Emma, Qila, Bobo, Iza, Miza, Danial, Nabil,Fitri,

Ketua Org Jahat: Miss Wana & Miss Fareha

Insan Teraniaya: Saya & Maya

RANCANGAN JAHAT YG MENGEMBIRAKAN2

Tempat:NZ bawah Wangsa maju

Org2 Jahat: Zet, Jack & Nana

Insan Teraniaya: Saya lagi

Berikut adalah timeline dimana satu pakatan jahat yg mengembirakan 1 berjalan:

23rd April 2009: Nora & the gangs mintk tolong sy untuk tgkn poster dorg untuk event yg akan datang. Sy setuju untuk tolong tgkn

24th April 2009: Hari kejadian. Hawa call sy pkul 12 lebih, wish happy birthday and ckp nk belanja mkn ptg nti. Sy smpai office, dia ckp yg dia nk blnja sy pas dia hbis class, sy ckp kt dia, sorry xboleh sbb nk jumpa student untuk hal event dorg. Dia pun diam jer pastu dia masuk class. Sy xde syak pepe pun.

Berikut adalah msg kronologi bersama Sarjan Pakatan Jahat yg mengembirakan ni: (Nora kata nk jumpa pkul 4.00)

Sy: Jmpe kul 4 ek?

Nora: Mr Shah jap eh. Ade mslh d saat akhir

Sy: Nk jmpe nti let me knw. sy kt parking bsement. dlm keta

Nora: Mr Shah. Dtg ali bistro bole? Sy tgu fit skali kt cni. Wawawawa

Sy: Ali Bistro?

Nora: Aha. Td ktorg kt cmr. Neh kt ali bistro. Sblh orange

Sy: Tau.2 area ofce sy

Sy pun dgn jujurnya la dtg. Skali tgk nora dok kt tembok C tuh, tah wat per tah.thn dia kata dorg kt kfc tgh sejukn bdn. Sy pun ckp oklah sbb sy tgh smoke, so nk hbiskn dlu rokok tu.Syg, membazir

Skali naik atas, sume org jerit Happy Birthday!: Jadi bodoh skejap! ya allah sukenya....dah tua2 ni bru org watkn birthday!

Berikut adalah timeline dimana satu pakatan jahat yg mengembirakan 2berjalan:

Than td kul 9pm, zet msg ckp jack nk open table blnja minum, sbb dia,zet n nana xdpt join td. So sy g jemput zet kt rumah thn g NZ, so ktorg pun lepak tp jack lmbt gler xsmpai2.so xpela, skali tgk jack dtg dgn plastic, rupenya dia g beli pizza for me. Pastu dia boleh dok menari2 kt jalan raya tu smbil nyanyi lagu happy birthday kekuat. Hahahaha LOLAVAD! Serious, sy cm tak tau nk ckp per..suke gler

so terima kasih kepada sume yg bersusah payah nk mengenakan sy dgn pakatan jahat yg mengembirakan ni. suka gler. Xsangka plak jadi cmni..huhuhuhu & thnks untuk pakatan jahat number 2 (jack,nana & zet)

Thanks so much, sorry xleh nk tunjukn how much sy suke sbb terlalu suka sgt smpai tak terkeluar thru expression..

Thnks guys, girls so much for this. Sy syg korg sume from bottom of my heart.

Bahagian miss maya sy xnk sentuh, suruh dia ceritakn sendiri....hehehehehe

Pics yg kt atas tu adalah hadiah yg sy dpt for today

from Qila: TY's Beanies Giraffe yg comel & Chocs from toblerone

From Sume: Sy dapat card yg besar gler penuh ngn signature korg sume.Thnks again.

Thnks a million years. Serious sy rasa hapiness yg korg kasi kt sy tu adalah hapiness yg sy xboleh dpt kt memana dlm dunia ni. Sy xperlukan hadiah sbb having you all dah ckup as hadiah for me. Thnks.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Shout! Award 2009. Open for Entry Now!


Attention to everyone! 
We are organizing an Urban Awards called Shout! Awards. Open to Music Artists, Films, Tv & Radio. Its designed to give recognition to more Urban type of content in Malay and/ or English. It will be fun.

More info, please log on to our website:  www.shoutawards.com.my

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Happy Birthday Amy, Don't forget mine @ 24th April..Heheheheh C Club ok?




Me and my Mango Sparkler..Yumm!

from left: Amy, Azfa, Chael, Payjal, Spy, Me & Mas


The Famous Bubba Gump( Inspired from Forest Gump)










Venue: Bubba Gump; The Curve Damansara
Time: 8.30pm
Date: 19th April 2009
Des: Amy's 25th Birthday Celebration
Victims: Chael, Payjal, Azfa, Spy, Mas & Me


Her name was Amy, my besty. we decided to celebrate her 25th birthday at Bubba Gump Curve. It was a fun night and i was the 2nd last person to arrived due to work load.huhuh
Celebrating friends birthday was like a tradition for us. We started this tradition in 2003 and it still running until now. We had our fun and i had my fish & chip.as usual..

I bought amy a mafla from kitschen curve since she told us she will travel to uk for holiday this upcoming 1st May 2009. So i decided to buy her that to keep her warm from cold chillin air.
Sorry, no picture of my present.hehehe. 

So i posted pictures from the last night event. Enjoy the view!



Thursday, April 16, 2009

Advertising 360: Everybody is Creative• 25th April 2009


This is Advertising Workshop full prior on gaining/developing BIG IDEAS. I do believes everybody is creative inside. ADVERTISING360 is a program where people will learn to churn out their creative juice out from mind and start think out of the box or even outside universe. 
This program will help you to get your work done faster, overcome your mental block. Amaze yourself with your creativity. Start to think, see, and talk in a different perspective. 

Workshop conducted by SHAH AL ZEFFLEE ROSLI

PREPARE TO BE FAMOUS.

Date: 25th April 2009
Time: 10am- late 
Venue: Level 4 MiiM
Free Admission

Workshop Requirement

• Marker Pen
• Yourself


This is not a seminar or talk series, this is a hands-on & practical workshop. 
Apa yg penting?

KERJASAMA!

see you there!




Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were

DanielI guess we are the left overs in this world.

JasmineI think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2
persons left in this world without any special someone in our lives.

DanielYup! I don't know what to do.


JasmineI know! We'll play a game.


DanielWhat game?

JasmineI'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.

DanielThat's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the following weeks..

 

DAY 1:

They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.


DAY 4:

They went to the beach & had a picnic... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.


DAY 12:

Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scared
and she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed..


DAY 14:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The
fortune teller said: 'My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily.' Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.


DAY 20:

Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something.


DAY 28:

They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.


DAY 29:

11:37 pm

Daniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game...

DanielI'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road...

JasmineApple juice would be fine,thanks.

Daniel
Wait for me...


20 minutes later
... a stranger  approached Jasmine.

StrangerAre you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine
Yes, why? What happened?

StrangerA reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital
.


11:57pm

The doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.

Doctor
We found this in Daniel's pocket.

Jasmine read the letter which says:

Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you.. your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my
life. I love you, Jasmine...

Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted..

'Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me

Then the clock strikes 12

Daniel's heart stop pumping

 
THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY...
Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of
everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

Monday, April 13, 2009

24 April; pigidahhh!

saya akan tergolong dlm kategori tua lagi 10 hari lagi.
Adoi, xsuke tol dah masuk dlm kategori ni..everything seem a big things nti. responsibility dah naik satu level lagi, 
Ah kan best jadi burung gagak, warna hitam..cool gler.

wish tahun ni, nak gf mcm ahn so hee....hehehehehe

tengahari dah tiba, perut da lapa tapi malas melanda

tu la hakikat dia harini, hari selasa yg panas. xselesa btul la, dah la salah pkai suar..terpkai jeans yg xbest, so arini sume rasa xbest. 
still xget over monday blues, now continue to tuesday raggee.damn! mls gler, otak ni still xde function,xtau nk wat per, padahal keja byk.

now dah masuk pkul 12, lagi 1 jam b4 lunch time, still rasa xselesa.mcm ada benda yg xkena. hishh pelik tol..perut plak dah lapar ni...

Mcd la arini..hbis cter

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Hmmmm

gler lama xtulis blog ni, dah berabuk dah since last entry pasal sweater kontroversi tu.huhu. neway i had nothing in mind actualy to wirte but i try my best. guess i have lost my touch.shit tol.last friday am off to malacca, back to my homtown to celebrate my youngest cousin's birthday. Her six candles.

back to me now, sighh...byk mengeluh weekend ni, tak tau kenapa, mcm ada benda yg tak kena. mcm ada yg tak betul,everything seem wont complete, it feels like something's missing but i just dont know what. My emotions, i tend to get mad easily for a small nonsense things, i tend to smoke a lot this weekend. While am wrote this entry, i on my 14packs of cigarattes. (14=1 pack/ 14pack x 14cigarattes = 100 over cigarattes for friday, saturday & sunday)

so i try to make myself happy by pretending. A clown. A crowning myself with a clown. Smiles a bit, jokes a bit and am done.huhu am happy, clap hands clap hands..

Tak tau kenapa tetiba sikap panas baran datang balik mungkin sbb dari the class insident last friday when new student dtg daftar subject s123; my class. masuk2 pastu cari gaduh ngn my studnet. I jadi mcm naik hangin. i said to him

"if sesapa rasa nk amik my class just nk ckupkn credit hour, silakan keluar sbb i xnk student yg mcm ni dlm class, like a worm in an apple. u ruin everything. I treat u like my frens, i respect u like my fren, like my student but with ur crappy attitude, u just make me so fuckup. I respect u so i hope i can gain the same respect. and if u rasa u dun like the way i am, the way i teach or the way i dress, u can go and report to admin, to your parent, i just dont give a damn bout it, in fact its not i need miim, but they need me. so go and report. i just dont give a fucking shit damn bout it. if korg rasa nk blaja dlm keadaan yg mcm ni, nk tgk kebiadapan sy, the other half of me, so try me, if u nk tgk hidup u susah kt dlm miim, luar miim, they try cross my border.try me."

I rasa mybe sbb tu kot now i rasa mcm xde hati nk mengajar, sbb apa yg i try bentuk n terapkn dlm sume class yg i mengajar dah kena cemar ngn student yg mcm haram.Sial btul. 

I try to create new kind of environment where studnet and lecturer can be together as fren, so dorg akn freely to express themself but with a respect. Now my experimental tu mcm useless. for 3 semester, i terapkn dlm sume class. If korg yg baca blog ni tak percaya, korg boleh tnya nora, alin, fatin,reef, alya,dale,yati,atong,nana,ali,danial and the geng, zet, fitri, eiza,lydia sume how i mengajar dorg dlm class. Its a experimental teaching method yg dah lama diapplykn kt US but not in malaysia. I created a round chair method untuk sume studnet n i duduk dlm bulatan sama level, be humble and sama status; as human untuk bincng, untuk nk fhm korg mcmmana and nk tolong korg untuk jadi better person, better thn me but if mcm ni punya perangai, u just making a mess dlm class.

Jgn ingt bler i mengajar kt miim ni, i akn abide ngn korg sume, no, i xpnh rasa tkut ngn ancaman korg ke hapa ke it just i respect u as human, as student, as kawan, as brother n sisters. Sbb i tak batak sgt ngn duit yg parent korg laburkn untuk fees. it just am here to help u jadi better. 

itu yg sy rasa now. Sy syg student sy it just sumtimes dorg yg xsyg sy.

i hope i can get respects from them as much as i give to them.

for all student yg sy dah pernah ajar, i wishes u all the best in life, in upcoming semester, in final exam, buat elok2 eventho sy dah bukan lecturer korg sume but i will always around for u guys, girls if korg perlukn advices, help or consultations. and for those yg xpernah sy ajar, u always welcome to see me for advices, help etc sbb sy xpernah nk ada barrier untuk xnk tau masalah mrk yg bukan my student. I am easy person, so dont be afraid, i wont bite. 

Sy syg students sy.

kenapa kau xmengerti? oh damm...

sudah ku katakan berulang kali, sebenarnya dia punya maksud hati tp mengapa kau tak mahu mengerti? dan slalu saja kau berkeras hati

waktu bersama kau cerita tentangnya aku sama skali tak berburuk sangka kerana kau bilang dia hnya teman saja tapi lama2 aku jadi curiga.

cubalah kau mengerti, cubalah kau mengerti bahawa aku ini, telah mengehtahui, telah mengetahui dia ingin memiliki mu, dengarkan lah diriku dengar kan lah diri kau, wahai kekasihku, kau sangka aku cemburu tapi itu mmg hak ku, kerna kau adalah kekasih ku.

oh damn...

Monday, April 6, 2009

Ku bersama mu...............



xfhm btul la why la people are objects my sweater kuning ni sama cam yellow man digi..xsama langsung.Kesian sweater bathing ape ni..hish..xfhm!