I am saying goodbye to you

This past 8 years, I am hurting myself, crying inside knowing that you will not coming back to me.
I built up my defenses yet someone will come and break it. Faces by faces each time.

I just want to know that I'd appreciated what you have done to me, Your words always be my courage. Your words always remind me of who I am and what should I be.
Thank you for that.

I'd remember you said that go for my happiness while I can. I try to reach my happiness, pursuit for my happiness but I don't know where to start. Where to begin?
I don't want to get hurt anymore.

But recently, I gladly to tell you that I've seen some light. A hope. A hope for me to be happy and also the possibility for me to get hurt again.
Actually there's someone here that I open my heart to but there's also a problem because I don't know what's our mutual feeling on this.

She's actually a nice girl. Decent in a look. Talkative. Courtesy for me. She's my source of happiness.
I hate to admit it but I've fall for her. I hate the fact that I like her. Despite of short lives of knowing her, my feeling grew really fast. She's fairer, beautiful, sensitive I guess.

I don't know what has gotten into me but at first It was started as the act of kindness. My heart told me to please her, make her happy and I did promise to myself to make her happy. I love to see her happy. I want to make her happy for the rest of her life. She's the source.

She always feeling sad, unhappy and cries a lot in the office. It worries me the most. I don't want her to cry but I have no leverage to control it. I can't control on what I can't control.
She's the one makes me feel lively everyday since I knew she will always be there in the office. Despite of not having enough quality conversations, outings with her, but I am picking up really well when it comes to her.

I want her to be happy.

I just want to tell you that I am okay now. I can accept the fact that you're now really far from me, really far from your family.
Trust me, my broken heart will healed, the scar will faded. If not because of you, I will not be like the way I am now. Thanks for the memories. I hope someday, somewhere we will meet again.

I will always pray for your happiness beside your maker and I am saying goodbye to you.

Thanks Mashitah. May your soul will always in best condition.
Rest in peace.

Mashitah Daneesya Khalid
1984-2003.