When Shez's Writing~

You & Me

2011-10-22T07:37:00.000-07:00

Hello Canvas.

This would be the first time I ever expose the lady that i be with through you.
This is the person I love the most. A bless from Allah. A gift that will never be replaced.

This is the person who managed to change the whole direction in every aspect of my life, she's not just a lady, she will be my last romance.

Honestly, I am not getting any younger, At this point of time, I see that there are some changes must be made in my life for me to have a better one and definitely she's part of the changes. I'm seeing myself settle down to have a good life of two.

2 are two different peoples with different personalities. We had a lot of argumentation, a lot of clashes, lot of fights but we still love each other, look after one another and care for each other. I can be a monkey and she still love me and she can be a total baboon and yet I love her very much.

I pretty much realize that relationship is not about finding similarity, perfection and compatibility on each other but relationship is how we see each other and how make s/he feel about each other. It's about " hey, you know what, I'm not perfect but i feel thankful that you love me because of that". That's the true meaning of relationship.

It prove me wrong after all these years, What I'm looking for relationship is all about perfection. I was wrong. I am wrong indeed.

But you know, having a relationship is not all about commitment all alone, but it also a responsibility. It required a lot of patience, care and attention. Relationship is not an automatic car. It more like a manual transmission car, sometimes you might stucked during gear shifting, you have to shift gears all the time, you have to maintain your consistence at controlling your clucth, brake, gas pedal so your car won't stop and the time you have to go through the hill and you have to stop at the middle because of the traffic. If you lose your focus, your car will stop or even worst it will hit others. It required a lot of attention, patience.

Yes, we're just like any normal couple who fought, who fight for the self-defences, arguments and such but we learnt a lot from it and not to repeat the same mistake.

What I need from life now is a good life, I want to start off my family of two and I really looking forward of it.

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah for the gift. I really blessed with this.

Coffee And Her

2011-09-21T09:24:00.000-07:00

Hello Canvas.

I didn't write much these days. I can't find perfect time to spend a little time with you.
Time moving real fast and I am getting slower. I tried to keep up with the pace until I forget to give myself some time to relax and enjoy life.

Talking about coffee, who can resist the strong aroma that awake your sense. Roasted beans perfectly blended to make a good cup of coffee.
Actually I am not a coffee person but something about coffee that make me smile. :)

"2 cups of coffee can calm me down and made my day whenever I'm stressed or feel pressured"

The landlord lady of my life said that to me. She emphasized how coffee work for her.
Amazed to found a lady who loved thick, black and strong coffee these days. Really rare, literally rare.

Coffee always remind me of her. Someone I love. Someone I cherish and care. Someone I adore.

I am here not to talk about coffee but I wanted to tell you about her.
The best decision I ever made so far. I am the champion.

She came out of nowhere and stayed in my life. And of course, during that time, I see relationship as something that can demolish your life. Something that can break you into pieces and make you feel despair.

I've told myself to avoid from getting one and yes I managed to stay out of it for years and protect myself from hurting again. But she is something. Something about her that make me feel different.

With the pair of wide eyes, hijab and formal attire, she's quite normal to me. Nothing special about her for me to adore. Observation I did, tried to get to know her, tried to understand her.

A bubbly, sarcastically persona, sarcasm remarks make her special to me. Believe or not, I fall in love with her because of that.

I said to myself that I need to have her or will regret later. I went out from my comfort zone, from all the shelter that I built these years and tried to have her.

116 days later; She's mine.

Dear god, you have show me some light while I'm in dark, you show me the way while am lost. You have given me problem so I know the way to handle it and now you have given me a heart for me to takecare of, a person for me to love and a life for me to share with. Bless me.

Kalau....

2011-06-21T10:51:00.001-07:00

Di lubuk hatiku
Adalah kamu
Sebagai ratu

Seluruh jiwaku
Hanya dirimu
Yang aku mahu

Telah ku percayakan
Hati ini padamu
Maka kita tak saling risau
Risau risau risau

Kalau cinta jangan kacau
Kalau sayang tak perlu marah
Kalau ikhlas tak minta berbalas
Serahkan cintamu
Pada yang punya cinta

Love Ya.

Dia

2011-05-28T04:10:00.000-07:00

Kata demi kata jalin dengan indah. Untuk menguraikan maksud hati.
Kuberanikan diri untuk memulainya, tapi mengapa bibirku tak dapat bergerak? Terasa berat.
Malunya hati ini, bila kuingat saat itu. Kami hanya saling berpandang dan terdiam terpaku

Oh bulan hanya dirimu yang menyaksikan segalanya.Oh bulan tolonglah daku katakan padanya;
Ku cinta dia....

How I Describe....

2011-05-28T03:15:00.000-07:00

How do i begin ya?

" You know that I long seek for someone like this; who are bubbly, talkactive, know her laugh and limits. Someone who show concern, someone who never afraid to speak up for herself, someone who stay assertive on her ground, someone who has firm belief on god, someone who has the charm only by talking, laughing and know how to make a friend. I can't believe that I found in on you.
I like you, I also like everyone but the like I had is something differently, something that hard for me to tell, to describe. Something that make me feel happy, something that i missed and something that I really wanted in life; you."

The Beauty of Falling in Love.

2011-05-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

Falling in love is no longer a taboo to peoples nowadays. It's not like 30-40 years back when everything must be secretive, must be discreet and living in afraid'ness of family disapproval. It no longer the same in present.
Falling in love are something that we cherish, we want in life. Even this has become the requirement in the pyramid of life, to be want and wanted. To be love and loved. This is something powerful that can change the life, perception of human being in every ways. This has become as one of basic need. A principle of Happiness.
Despite of this beautiful feeling, how many people who fall in love will end up this matter in wedding? How many people willing to fall in love to same person over and over again? How may split stories we heard from friend everyday? Breaking up is happen every single second in the world.

What has happen to this beautiful feeling? How oneself not be able to retain this feeling?
Falling in love is always special, this is a magical and most powerful feeling human can have. To have someone who makes you feel home, makes you fell safe. To be with someone who makes you feel special, to makes you feel important and it makes you think of the person day and night and able to bring happiness to your world.

See how powerful this feeling that able to move person from one point to another?
It's an incredible feeling when you feel that close connection with another.

Love started at the very moment you're fall in love. It doesn't matter whether the person you fall in love with know or not. This is all about you. How you feel, the rest is second.
Falling in love are require gut and courage.

Let me tell you something.

I has gone through several relationships past 2 years back that I think can move me, relationships that can makes me be a better person, but I was wrong. I went wrong all along.
The feeling was never sparked they way I wanted to. It's not anyone fault. I am falling in love at the wrong time.

I managed to survive my singlehood after all this while not until I met one person who able to woo me; someone actually I just knew for 2 weeks. There's something that I like about her, something that really attracts me to get to know her.

Everyday I pray to HIM and ask whether this is the happiness that I always asked from HIM everyday? If this is the person, I am more than happy to accept it because Happiness is something that I need in life. For me to fall in love, I need happiness. I have been searching for my happiness techically for my whole life and I think I have found one..

365 Days of Love

2011-02-14T09:14:00.000-08:00

Greeting blogger.
First of all, Happy Valentine's Day to all eventhough I am not celebrating it.

14th February is the most busiest day throughtout the year for those who in relationship, in the process to secure a heart or for those who's in love. Today is the special day; a very extraordinary day where all roses selling fast like a bus ticket to ride home for Hari Raya and also the day a bouquet of roses will cost you 1 month expences for foods.
Peoples will get busy to prepare something special for their love ones and also dodgy medical leaves. ~Sigh~

But enlight me with something; for 365 days per year, why only 14Feb to show some extraordinary love to your partner? Why only today to show that you're really passionate, really in love with them while you can do it everyday?
Something that I couldn't understand until this very day. Many people came to me and said
"Someday, when you're really head over heel on someone, you will understand" but to tell you something. I has gone through 6 of 14 February with 5 different peoples and I still can't find my way to understand the fact of why be speacial only this 14th?

I don't celebrate it but I know how it feel since I have my valentine 356 times per year. I don't need one special date to show how love I am to my partner or, how I care for her.

Come on. What will you get in this 14th? Roses with overpaid prices?, places packed with peoples? massive traffic jam? Why have to pay RM86 for dozen of roses on 14th while you can get it for Rm16 per dozen in other day? Why have to hassel your way to a restaurant pack with peoples while you can have comfort, peace of mind dinner in other day?

I am saying this not in the prospect that I can't afford to pay all of these, I capable to pay RM300 for a dozen of roses if I want to but why need to waste your money on 14th?

The best thing is to take the time off on 14th and spend sometimes alone yourself to think what's the best for your relationship, what's the best for your future and how to make it more solid and sustainable.

Remember, you not only have 1 day to celebrate your love a year, but you have 365 days to celebrate it. 1 day can't make any different.

People will always know what's on 14th February forever but what's on 12 Rabiuawal?
I know. How about you?

Goodnite.

What's your thought on love?

2011-02-11T21:59:00.001-08:00

What's your thought on love?
I need your opinion when it come to love~

Drop me comments on this~

What Do You Get When You Fall In Love?

2011-02-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

It's the last day of my weekends. Guess I am getting lazy to go to work on Sunday. With less than 10 days before my event, Lets hope there's last minute booking.

I have sit down together with group of friends over the weekends. Chilling out for Starbucks like I always does every weekends. The conversation based on our daily work tasks, things we have seen for the past 5 days, things occurs to us everyday and suddenly; One of us has popped the topic on what do we get when we fall in love.

This is something that I will never expect from him. The subject was obviously simple. What do we get? but the answer are not as simple as the question. Love is subjective and each of people have the different perception on love. It turned out that he's was head over heels on one girl he met before. Their feeling were mutual. This is simple.

What do you get when you fall in love? I answered ; you will get happiness, love and care and a girl. Which is true. There's no way you gonna fall in love with tree, animal or yourself. That's crazy.

But what I has experience before, Normally, love is like one way street. You will give and whatever you get will be never as much as you give. The only tales I always heard are broken hearted, alone, loneliness, sadness just to name a few.

Love is a game, a business proposal. If you are the great player, a great and smart businessman; you will sustain in this game or business. But if you are the lousy player, or a bad businessman, it won't grow. It die.

We are paying the heavy price for love. Every love has it own price, stories and creativity.
And also, love will lead you to pain. The pain of misses, the pain of love or sadness or anything.

As for me, I chose not to answer in detail since I also a lousy player but I am the risk taker. I always go for my dream, for what I want. I never afraid to say what I have in mind. And yet I know; with all the risk I have take, somehow I know it will hurt me later.

The subject has took hours of my time yesterday, thinking on what do we get when we fall in love. I remember what Elvis Castello said in is song; I will never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

What do you get when you kiss a girl
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, she'll never phone you
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Don't tell me what it's all about
Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you give your heart
You get it all broken up and battered
That's what you get, a heart that's shattered
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Out of those chains those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

I'll never fall in love again
I'll never fall in love again

Have you ever heard something that's happy in this song?
I don't think so~

Keep rocking Gary in heaven!

2011-02-11T05:47:00.000-08:00

6th Feb has been one of my sadness moment in my life when I heard the news of Robert William Gary Moore has died. He's a great man and a great player. He's my inspiration. I grew up with his songs, I lived in his songs. He's crying guitar melodrama and he's one of the kind. The blues and jazzy tunes he played was still the best in the world despite of having so many guitar figures in the world.
He's a loss to this world.

Look back what his songs has done to me, The song he had was a saviour, was a shelter when I am down, when I am heartbroken or alone. His songs has the power of healing, his words has deepest meaning. A meaning of love, painful, happiness just to name a few.

He maybe dead but his soul will lives forever.
Rest In Peace

Robert William Gary Moore (4 April 1952 – 6 February 2011)

What Do You Want From Me?

2011-02-11T00:25:00.000-08:00

What Do Women Really Want From Men

I supposed this question existed ever since the time the human race first set foot on Earth. Some men even spend their entire lives trying to figure out what women really want, and this is especially true if they are dating or even have been married for years and yet are at a loss over this perplexing question.

Are girls that really hard to understand? Is this the reason why some people think that women are from Venus and men came from Mars? There are so many theories and concepts to justify this phenomenon, but many of these theories are in conflict with each other making the question even more perplexing.

The mainstream thinking is that women demand utter compliance and respect from their men and thus many men play subservient roles to please their women so that they can be accepted. However, many of these men seem to get rejected by those they are trying hard to please and are being dumped when playing this subservient role. On the other hand, those supposedly "bad boys" who seem somewhat a little cocky and wouldn't give a heck to women seem to have girls clawing all over them. What on earth is happening here?

Well, many years of studying the whims of the fairer sex, I have made up some of my own conclusions as to what really women want from men. Let's put it this way, just imagine what nature created us to be which is women are feminine and men are masculine. Duh? Let me elaborate.

First, let me ask you a question. When you think of masculine men, who are those who come to your mind? Brad Pitt, Jean-Claude Van Damme , Arnold Schwarzenegger or even Batman? Okay, I am stretching your imagination a wee bit here, but you do get the picture.

Like it or not, women are psychologically programmed to adore the classic strong and confident man. Men who have leadership characteristics, who can kick butts when they need to and yet are gentlemanly and who can protect their women. This gives the ladies a wonderful sense of security and warmth.

I don't mean that you should go out picking fights and beat up other guys. The days of bringing home the enemy's scalp for home or rather cave decorations are just not the in ting anymore. We are not savages of the past. All you need to do is to portray that you can give your woman warmth and security, able to bring home the bacon and are respected socially is enough to turn any woman on.

An example as to how you can show this masculine attribute is to become a decision maker. Do not ask women out for dates by asking what they want to do or like to do. Just take the lead and decide where you want to go and what you want to do, then simply invite her along. Sometimes you don't even need to tell her your plans. Keep a little mystery and get the sexual tension up and she will be very excited about the night out with you.

Show women that you are in charge and she will let you take charge. Show women that you are only out to please her and she will think of you as a wimp and that is not being very masculine, isn't it?

Women also need to have social proof to confirm that you are a well liked and are well respected by your peers. If other people can respect you, then you are certainly respectable to her. So if others think that you are an awesome guy, then you must be awesome indeed!

This is especially so if other women enjoy your company and think that you are a greatest guy on earth to be with. She you take it as an endorsement by other girls that you will make a great mate and she will be lapping up to you even more. So go and mix with the girls and you will attract even more of them.

Another thing that you should know is to make yourself appealing to her emotion, not her logic. Women want men to make them feel good and comfortable. Her primitive instinct is that she will spend the rest of her life with you and if the you cannot feel good and secured, then the rest of her life with you will be a miserable one.

So make women laugh frequently because laughter makes people produce more endorphin which is a feel good hormone which is also produced when people are having sex and if you are able to do that, you will come across as being very sexy indeed.

So when you are able to communicate on an emotional level with women, you will definitely be much more successful with them.

So what do women really want from their men? The answer is actually very simple. They want men who can take charge, who are confident and can make decisions and men who can provide them warmth, security and emotional connection. In other words, women want to be with masculine men, the confident alpha male. Are you up to the challenge?

P/S: I have no right to claim on this article. Thank you to Chris Chew for this amazing write-up~

I like you too~

2011-02-11T00:11:00.000-08:00

How to know if a Girl likes you

If you are head over heals love with a girl definitely you would want to know if she likes you or not. Most Guys find women a mystery. But knowing the interest level of the girl is very important if you want to take a relationship forward or to decide if you are wasting your time on her or not. If the Man knows that the Woman is interested in him it would also give him the confidence to ask her on dates and more! However, knowing her interest level may not be very difficult if you watch her behavioral pattern and body language when you are with her. If you find that she is not interested in you it is time to move forward or cut your losses and move on to the next one.

How to find out if a Girl is interested in you
Not all women are the same. Still, she may give away signals that she likes you or dislike you through her looks, behavior or body language. It is not wrong to say that words and mannerisms of a person can convey a lot about that person. Here are 16 things to watch out to find if she is interested in you.

She likes talking and spending time with you: If a girl likes you she will not refuse an opportunity to see you or talk to you. She always would find an excuse to talk with you or spend time with you. When you talk she listens to you with interest and tries to gather more information about you. If she participates in the conversation, gives long answers and asks you questions in response it is a positive sign. She would gaze at you and smile often when you are with her or lean close when speaking to you. You may even notice that her eyes lit up when she notices you around. On the other hand if he does not like you she may not participate in the conversation or may give clipped responses for your enquiries. If she is looking around while you talk to her shows her lack of interest in you and the fact that she probably wants someone different to talk to.

She gives her Contact Number: If a girl likes you she would trust you enough to pass on her mobile number, private email or chat name without hesitation so that that the two of you could be in touch. She may even allow you to drop you at her doorstep or would invite you in for a coffee. When there are other eligible Guys around you and the girl gives her contact number only to you it is a positive sign that she certainly likes you. Take it as a signal from her and ask her for a date after you have spoke to her over phone one or two times to know her better. When you talk to her on the phone she may start talking immediately without waiting for you to start the conversation. If she is looking for an excuse to hang up then she might not be interested in you. She may even find excuses to talk to you often and may call you without waiting for you to call her if she likes you. She may find excuses for chatting with you for hours together and even discusses her experiences or inner dreams.

She introduces you to her Friends and Family: If a girl likes you she would not have problems with others seeing her with you. She may even introduce you to her friends or family or even brag about you to them. If she likes you she would be honest in her opinions and instead of passing flattering complements may tell you things or habits you need to change in order to be a better person without insulting you.

She touches you often: If the girl touches you often while you are talking or walking together or does not move away when you accidentally brush up against her or intentionally touch her she may like you. However, ifshe isn't touching you it may not mean that she doesn't like you. May be she is too nervous of you to touch you yet. If a girl holds eye contact with you then this is a good sign that she is interested in you. Some girls may even blush when you look at them if they like you.

She mimics you in your Actions: If there is a liking then you may be able to detect signs of mimicking. In fact this is an unconscious thing and indication that she is interested. Some examples for this can be taking a drink together or leaning back against the chair at the same time.

She gets Jealous when she sees you with other Girls: If you are friends with the girl and notice signs of jealousy when you talk with other girls it is a sign that she really likes you and you can try taking your relationship to the next level. She may even try to distract or interrupt you when she sees you with other girls.

She laughs at your Jokes:If a girl likes you she may even laugh or giggle at your normally boring or stupidest of all jokes. If her smile is a fake or polite one or if she frowns and looks away she is not interested in you.

She may even Flirt with you Openly:If a girl likes you she may even flirt with you openly in order to get the message across to you that she is interested in you. There may be seasoned flirts but if flirting is out of character for the girl whom you are trying to know is interested in you then in all probability she likes you. But Beware do not flirt around with other girls when she is around you as she may jump to conclusions and assume that you are not interested in her.

She brags about you: If a girl likes you it is quite natural for her to talk about you to her close friends. Sometimes you may notice her friends teasing her when they spot you or other friends glancing back at you and smiling or giggling which may mean that she was telling her friends about you. When you come near to her she might stop talking all of a sudden which can mean that you were the subject of the recently ended conversation.

You may meet her accidentally very often: When a girl likes you she may try to frequent places you go often or find some reason to be in places where you go to so that she would be able to see you. She may even find stupid reasons to talk to you or try to be around you as much as she can.

She is conscious of her looks when you are around: If a girl likes you she tries to be at her best when you are around. She would normally be well groomed and looking beautiful than she looks normally. You may even notice her touching her hair, neck, lips or clothing when she is in front of you.

She may play hard to get: If a woman likes you she may play games with you as she knows that a man would not appreciate anything for longer which may not come to him easily. She may ignore the Guy so that the Guy would chase her as guys like challenges. In fact majority of women like to be a challenge and feel that any male who cannot work hard to get them are not worthy of her.

She is comfortable with you: If a girl feels comfortable and secured in your company in all probability she likes you. If she is feeling threatened or trying to avoid meeting you or spending time with you she may not like you. If she feels comfortable and secured she would be herself around you and without pretences and would be comfortable talking to you about almost anything. She may even not hesitate to ask you out on a date.

She would go out of her way to help you: If a woman likes you she may go out of the way to be helpful to you when you have a problem or when you need help. She always would have a word of encouragement or support when you are feeling. If she comes to know that you are sick she might call you immediately or even visit you because she is concerned about you.

She remembers your special Days: If a girl likes you she would make sure that she remembers your Birthday or may even get you a gift. If she comes to know about an achievement you made she would immediately call you and congratulate you. She may even ask you for a party from you as an excuse to see you. She may even buy you small gifts for no reason at all.

She talks of a Future together: If a girl likes you when she talks about her future she may mention you in it. She may even share her long term dreams or aspirations with you.

All girls consciously or unconsciously send out at least some of the above signs or signals. Look out for mannerisms and body language of the girl to determine the interest level in you. I sincerely hope that this article would be an eye opener to Guys who want to know if the girls are interested in them. Have I left out something? Please feel free to add them through comments.

Hachi~

2011-02-04T11:20:00.000-08:00

Something that really hard to describe.
That's the first thing comes inside my mind when I watch this movie called Hachi.
This is the movie based on the true event involve the love, loyalty, and friendship.
Something that I will never have a thought on it. Something unique about friendship.
Something that I really wanted to have in life.

I managed to hold my tears throughout the whole movie.
The man newly found happiness beside than his family. A dog. An Akita Dog called Hachiko.
I can't believed how sad the stories are. How it touch every single viewer's heart deeply.
Playing with the emotions of humankind.

The story begin like this;
In the modern day, a class full of young students is giving oral presentations about personal heroes. A boy named Ronnie stands up and begins to tell of 'Hachiko', his grandfather's dog. Years before, an Akita puppy is sent from Japan to the United States, but his cage falls off the baggage cart at an American train station, where he is found by college professor Parker Wilson (Richard Gere). Parker is instantly captivated by the dog. When Carl, the station controller, refuses to take him, Parker takes the puppy home overnight. His wife Cate (Joan Allen) is insistent about not keeping the puppy.

The next day Parker expects that someone will have contacted the train station, but no one has. He sneaks the pup onto the train and takes him to work, where a Japanese college professor, Ken, translates the symbol on the pup's collar as 'Hachi', Japanese for 'good fortune', and the number 8. Parker decides to call the dog 'Hachi'. Ken points out that perhaps the two are meant to be together. Parker attempts to play fetch with Hachi, but he refuses to join in. Meanwhile Cate receives a call about someone wanting to adopt Hachi. After seeing how close her husband has come to Hachi, however, Cate agrees that they can keep him.

A few years later, Hachi and Parker are as close as ever. Parker, however, is still mystified by Hachi's refusal to do normal, dog-like things like chase and retrieve a ball. Ken advises him that Hachi will only bring him the ball for a special reason. One morning, Parker leaves for work and Hachi sneaks out and follows him to the train station, where he refuses to leave until Parker walks him home. That afternoon, Hachi sneaks out again and walks to the train station, waiting patiently for Parker's train to come in. Eventually Parker relents and walks Hachi to the station every morning, where he leaves on the train. Hachi leaves after Parker's safe departure, but comes back in the afternoon to see his master's train arrive and walk with him home again. This continues for some time, until one afternoon Parker attempts to leave, but Hachi barks and refuses to go with him. Parker eventually leaves without him, but Hachi chases him, holding his ball. Parker is surprised but pleased that Hachi is finally willing to play fetch the ball with him. Worried that he will be late for the college, Professor Parker leaves on the train despite Hachi barking at him. At work that day Parker, still holding Hachi's ball, is teaching his music class when he suddenly suffers a heart attack and dies.

At the train station, Hachi waits patiently as the train arrives, but there is no sign of Parker. He remains, lying in the snow, for several hours, until Parker's son-in-law Michael comes to collect him. The next day, Hachi returns to the station and waits, remaining all day and all night. As time passes, Cate sells the house and Hachi is sent to live with her daughter Andy, Michael, and their new baby Ronnie. However, at the first opportunity, he escapes and eventually finds his way back to his old house and then to the train station, where he sits at his usual spot, eating hot dogs given to him by Jas, a local vendor. Andy arrives soon after and takes him home, but lets him out the next day to return to the station.

Hachi begins sleeping under a broken train carriage, keeping vigil during the day and surviving off food and water given to him by Jas and the local butcher. One day, a man named Teddy, a newspaper reporter, inquires about Hachi and asks if he can write a story about him. People begin to send money to Carl to buy Hachi food. Ken, Parker's friend, reads the article, and offers to pay for Hachi's upkeep. He realizes that although it has been a year, Hachi wants to, and has to, wait for his master, and wishes him a long life. "If Hachiko must wait, then Hachiko must wait," as Ken says.

Years pass, and still Hachi waits. Cate visits Parker's grave, where she meets Ken, and she says that even though it has been a decade, she still misses him. Arriving at the station, she is stunned to see Hachi, old, dirty and weak, still maintaining his vigil. Overcome, Cate sits and waits for the next train with him. At home, Cate tells the now ten-year-old Ronnie about Hachi. That night, Hachi makes his way to his usual spot, where he lies down and falls asleep for the last time, dreaming of his master, and later sees a vision of Parker who picks him up in a joyous reunion before their spirits rise to heaven.
Ronnie, back in his classroom, finishes his report, telling his classmates that Hachi, for his love and loyalty, will forever be his hero. That afternoon, he walks his own Akita puppy named Hachi along the same track his grandfather once walked with his own Hachi.

This is really sad to see how a dog, A god creation who has less mind and emotion can perform such loyalty to human. It's true when people say, " We give them home, shelter and love, they will give you their soul and life back"

It really touch my heart to see this, A joy of waiting, A joy to meet again to someone who we really care and love. To be honest, I am crying inside.

Only if human can be like that..

I believed in you

2011-01-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

Hello dear blog,
It's been a while since last I touch you with my words.

Nothing particular today. Another normal day without having anything to cheer on.
I really hate to see myself like this. I really don't like it the fact I am not happy with my life.
I tried to find million reason to get myself out from this but only to found million reason to stay in and keep sheltering myself from get hurt by someone.

This is something that I really don't like to do, I don't like to stay one-put regularly. I want to go out, enjoying everything surrounds me. I believe in love, I believe in happiness.
I just want to be happy like others.

God, please help me to go through this period.

Letter to F~ last lap~

2010-11-25T06:50:00.000-08:00

Hello there. Hello dearest F~

I hope you're in good condition. Hope everything well on your side.
Well at least, my heart telling me that you're okay. It might be right and also could be wrong.

Firstly, I am sorry but I have to be honest to myself this time around. I can't be lying to my heart, myself or you.
I do understand that currently you're in mess. I've seen your status full with emotional, mix feelings, sadness and the act of courage to be happy.

Don't get me wrong, reason I am writing this piece is not that I don't understand you. In fact, yes I am completely understand the situation that you need some time alone with yourself.
But from what I've seen, you are comforting yourself saying that you will be okay rather than confronting yourself that Yes, I will get over this mess and I will be okay and happy purely.

Confront not comfort. You will found yourself more contented, happy.
Sorry If am saying it too loud. It might offended you.

Here the things, I am doing lot of thinking before I am decided to write this letter. I am confronting myself, my mind and wills for this. I am taking a big risk by doing this. I hate the fact that if the result is against my will but at least I am trying.

Dear F,
for the past 1 month, I am questioning myself about my doings toward you.
To be honest with you, I am trapped with my feeling toward you. I want you to be happy and I am to be happy too myself.
But day by day I am falling to you completely. And this is something that I never expected to happen to me. I barely know you but honestly I hate the fact that I like the feeling. The feeling that I fall for you. It was something pure and happy feeling I ever have.

From liking, I don't when's the hell it started to evolved to something that I amaze with it. A love. Yes A love, something that I always avoid to be in with. Love are something that in my mind a devil. Love always made me sad.

But on top of that, If I want to fall in love, I am glad if I fall it for you, with you. I found my happiness lies on you F~ trust me, I don't like to fall in love, I don't easily fall in love but this time around, It come and urged me for it stays. I am helpless and yet happy. It took me quite sometimes to realized that I am fall in love. Not just a like, but love. ~sigh~

I keep questions myself why it appears, since we don't have enough conversation,sessions etc but it come. I can't stop it nor ignore it. I love you just the way you are. Not because that you're beautiful or something. Beauty can be faded on day.I love you because of your heart. It will stay forever.

This are something that I never expected. I started to get to know you more, be more concern about you, where you about etc.
I am really sorry for this explanation. I'd know the chances is 0.000000000000000000000000001% we might having the same mutual feeling. Sorry for being optimistic. Sorry for being seeing everything as a big possibilities. But yes, I am fall for you, Yes I do like you and Yes I love You.

I am not trying to added more problem to you but at least let be honest with the situation.
You have someone that you're really love. I will always pray for your happiness. This attempt is not really an attempt because I am not trying to achieve something. I don't want to win something here. I am seeing myself as almost / already finishing my task. And I already been showed a way out. Something that I heard that someone actually scoop your heart back. This is something that I looking forward to hear it, not as someone sad, but someone that really happy , since you will be happy yourself despite of am hurting myself by hearing it. But I am human after all. After so long being hurt, it's no wrong to get hurt this time. At least the pain's taste differently.

What the hell was I am thinking. Putting myself beside you is like being a beast with the beauty. There's no way it's going to work. That's what peoples told me.
Chances was never there. Even there's no possibility.

Dear F,
I hope you will be happy. I hope you will be achieving anything you want in life. I know you can do it. The miracle actually is you. You're the miracle. And only you can change the way around. Turn the tide. Be happy and you will be glooming for the rest of your life.
I want you to be happy. I want you to be cherish.

Now that I realize, it's better for me to say it. Despite of wanting you to be someone special in life, actually am killing myself by having the ridiculous dream ever.

I already have myself, If there's something you want to voice up, just pm me on my facebook. I am more that glad to hear from you

Dear F,
Be good
Hope we will be able to talk soon

Takecare

I am saying goodbye to you

2010-11-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

This past 8 years, I am hurting myself, crying inside knowing that you will not coming back to me.
I built up my defenses yet someone will come and break it. Faces by faces each time.

I just want to know that I'd appreciated what you have done to me, Your words always be my courage. Your words always remind me of who I am and what should I be.
Thank you for that.

I'd remember you said that go for my happiness while I can. I try to reach my happiness, pursuit for my happiness but I don't know where to start. Where to begin?
I don't want to get hurt anymore.

But recently, I gladly to tell you that I've seen some light. A hope. A hope for me to be happy and also the possibility for me to get hurt again.
Actually there's someone here that I open my heart to but there's also a problem because I don't know what's our mutual feeling on this.

She's actually a nice girl. Decent in a look. Talkative. Courtesy for me. She's my source of happiness.
I hate to admit it but I've fall for her. I hate the fact that I like her. Despite of short lives of knowing her, my feeling grew really fast. She's fairer, beautiful, sensitive I guess.

I don't know what has gotten into me but at first It was started as the act of kindness. My heart told me to please her, make her happy and I did promise to myself to make her happy. I love to see her happy. I want to make her happy for the rest of her life. She's the source.

She always feeling sad, unhappy and cries a lot in the office. It worries me the most. I don't want her to cry but I have no leverage to control it. I can't control on what I can't control.
She's the one makes me feel lively everyday since I knew she will always be there in the office. Despite of not having enough quality conversations, outings with her, but I am picking up really well when it comes to her.

I want her to be happy.

I just want to tell you that I am okay now. I can accept the fact that you're now really far from me, really far from your family.
Trust me, my broken heart will healed, the scar will faded. If not because of you, I will not be like the way I am now. Thanks for the memories. I hope someday, somewhere we will meet again.

I will always pray for your happiness beside your maker and I am saying goodbye to you.

Thanks Mashitah. May your soul will always in best condition.
Rest in peace.

Mashitah Daneesya Khalid
1984-2003.

Magical Sales Pitch~ Trade Marketing~

2010-11-19T08:31:00.000-08:00

Introduction
Good Morning______. This is ____________ from Business Development Division at MarcusEvans. How are you?

Qualifying 1
I was being refer from you MD’ office to speak to you with regards to Trade Marketing since you are the ( job title ) I believe?

Impact Statement
I am working on a project partnering with the leading brand like Coca Cola, Nestle, Kraft foods, Philip Morris, Reckitt Benckiser just to name a few that I would like you to be involved in.
The companies I’ve just mentioned to you will be sharing expert advice & real case studies on how to tap into consumer mind to successfully strategizing the marketing plan through innovative trade marketing approach.

In regards of this, MarcusEvans will be organizing a 2 days forum meet on Competitive Trade Marketing Forum that is taking place in Hyatt Regency Dubai this upcoming 27th – 28th February 2011.
This 2 days forum will be the place for retailers, manufactures to network & benchmark strategies on how you can get the best of marketing dollar to increase sales / ROI and retain customer loyalty.

We’re expecting 60-70 decision makers coming on board and so far we already have 35 marketing professionals confirmed their participations coming from FMCG sectors.

Urgency
The investment to attend is USD2495, However the reason why I’m calling you now is to offer limited early bird promotion of USD2095 and this will expire this week.
Is this something that you might be interested to review further?

FAB
For this 2 days Competitive Trade Marketing forum, this is specially customized to help the company to influent the purchasing behavior by
1) Exploring Social Media channels like Facebook, Twitter or blog to increase the impact of your Trade marketing.
2) Increasing the buying intention by having the insight of Shopper Research on adapting trade-marketing plan to suit the shopper needs and requirements.
3) Maximizing shelf display using several methods.
4) Using CSR approach to built up the impact and brand reputation.
5) Panel Discussion on Maximizing the usage of Trade Marketing while still in compliance with rules / regulation that govern the retail scene.

The delegates will gain more insight and deep understanding that it would help your product to reach the audience effectively using the innovation of trade marketing.

Probing
1) As (Job Title), what are some of the areas that you are looking to improve?
2) How do you innovate to stay ahead of the competition?
3) What are the methods you’re using in term of maximizing the shelf display compare in the retail store?
4) Is Social Media as one of the way to promote you brand?
5) What are you doing to understand the behavior, trends and need of your customer?

Trial Close
This is what I will do, I will drop you the details of this event and I need to check from your side. For this event;

1) How many people you had in mind right now to attend this event from your side?
2) How many seat require form your side?

Qualifying 2
1) The date on 27th – 28th February 2011 Ok with you?

Callback
I will call you back in another 3 days to get the solid feedback from you whether you will be participating or nominating people for this event. Is it Ok with you?

Letter to my Hummingbird~err..well not really my~

2010-11-18T07:51:00.000-08:00

Dear Hummingbird

I don't know why I started to call you this. I know its a bird and you're human but I'd love Hummingbird.
They're prettiest, smallest and they sing better too~ You're like them, smallest, prettiest among all.

Something that I learnt today that makes me think that you're the Hummingbird. ~sigh~
Anyway thanks for waking me up this morning, actually I am really lazy to go to work today, thinking of taking MC.
Knowing that you're around the floor, so I decided to called off my laziness.

I know you cried today in the office because that stupid beast~ I really don't understand what he up to now?
Crazy manager. But I need you to stay focus and be positive. Don't give a shit whatever he say to you.
He's money-slave person I guess. All the matters is the money.~crazy~

I got my new program today. Started selling already. Hope I can make more money with this program.

Be positive ya my Hummingbird.
Be good.

Takecare~

Reminder to Shez~

2010-11-16T23:24:00.000-08:00

When you love a girl, sometimes it is best just to tell her, even if you are not sure if the feeling is mutual.

Know that even if she doesn't love you, it is a relief to get this off your chest.
Don't make a big production of it. Just give it to her straight. Acting like a drama king/queen could make her reject you. Don't get angry with her if she says no.

Remember, loving someone is not something people plan or do on purpose. Strong feelings like love arise from emotional stimulation, not choice and go easy on her, since telling her that you love her might be a bit overwhelming for her, and she may need a minute or two to think about it.

Wait for the right moment. Don't tell her you love her when either one of you is amongst friends. Wait until you are alone. But when you are, don't wait to tell her. Respect her reaction. If she doesn't love you back, your life isn't over; it may hurt, but that's how she feels.

Make sure that you are sure you are ready for the emotional roller coaster of love. There are highs and there are lows; if you are just thinking of saying it to get laid, DON'T. If you really love someone, you will respect them, care for them, and be there for the good and the bad. Are you ready for that?

and

"I love you" is a statement, not a question. don't expect an answer, because it doesn't exist.

Saying I Love You~

2010-11-16T23:18:00.000-08:00

The human race is one that is filled with cement walls in place to avoid vulnerabilities. We are all so busy trying not to get hurt that we often hurt each other first, even by simple omission or accidental intention. We often are so concerned with protecting ourselves from rejection, pain, and fearful situations, that we talk ourselves out of one of the simplest, most intense, and blindly instinctual urges. We are ridiculously quick to talk ourselves out of the importance of saying, “I love you.”

Love, regardless of whether, is risky business. When we love and allow our emotions to not only be known or expressed we risk one of three things; rejection, loss, and having to accept love back. So many of us are wandering around with such deep wounds that the act of accepting love in return is just as scary as rejection.

Wouldn’t it be incredible if we as a human race could drop our defenses for just one day, and be completely expressive without fear? We would have the capacity to just tell people the honest meaning they carry in our lives, the effect they have on us, and the course we would like to see the relationship grow even when we are already in the relationship. Omission of expression is nearly the same thing as taking one for granted. Nobody dies with the regret of telling someone too often how much they cared, but people die everyday with their hearts still wounded from a love they never truly expressed.

It is easy to get wrapped up in our own wounds, our own feelings of ambivalence and our fears of feeling alone in the world. After all, a love that remains unexpressed is a love that nobody knows about. It is not until someone finds the courage to share their feelings that they are then blessed with the knowledge that they, too, are worthy of the love they are giving.

Woman in our life that we truly love need daily reminders of the fact that she is loveable. After all, the world can leave such horrific dents on our outer layers, and we can easily get caught in living within those layers. It’s cold out there. It’s painful out there. People are rude out there and often even a stranger can sting us with our own vulnerable fears and hang ups. What keeps us going in times of self doubt, fear, pain, and anguish is not just the hope of love, but the knowledge of love.

There is truly no underestimating the importance of saying, “I love you.” Those three little words are one half of the most important sentence in the world, “I love you, accept you, and how can I help you.” The term love implies both acceptance and the willingness to place someone’s needs ahead of our own. The term love implies more than a simple selfish passing moment, but a deep understanding of who someone is, and the knowledge that they are good enough without their perfections we are so often seeking. Without love and acceptance, what really do we have from each other?

Money, power, prestige, and fame can never buy the same feeling that your heart gets the first time the love of your life confesses their feelings. That wonderful little flutter in the tummy is irreplaceable, and who would want to replace it? It lets you know you’re alive.

While there is no valid argument to deter the notion that to love someone is to risk losing someone, there is a valid argument against using that as an excuse. It is easy to hide, but not very fulfilling. Loving openly and honestly and taking the risk that someone precious and dear to us might not be in our lives one day is part of the risk of daring to live fully. A heart that hasn’t broken can’t grow. A heart that hasn’t loved grows cold. And a heart that lives in fear shrinks with time.

Loving someone, and telling them often, is a gift. And not just to the recipient of your love, but to yourself as well. When you truly love someone and find the courage to express it well and express it often, you are giving more of a gift to yourself than anyone. You are claiming your will and right to live fully and completely and to bask in life’s joys just as quickly as you are able and willing to hurt from life’s pain. Why live the one sided coin lifestyle. You’re destined to feel pain no matter how hard you try to close off your heart. As humans, we are simply not designed that way. We are social creatures, put on this planet to nurture each other. Living alone without recognized love is just as painful, if not more so, than living with love and losing it.

Never underestimate the importance of saying, “I love you.” With a deep breath and a leap of faith, close your eyes, whisper the words and you can be sure when you open them again your life will have changed for the better.

Letter to F part 4

2010-11-16T22:37:00.000-08:00

Hi there sweetheart

How are you? I hope you're doing fine in life.
It's been a while since the last time I saw you. Guess I'd miss you. Even-though I hate the fact that I miss you but I can't deny it.
There's lot of things I want to tell you, I am stress out about everything that happen in my life but frankly that's is not the priority. The main point is your happiness is my priority. I want you to be happy.

Today is Eid holiday. I am really glad hear that you're doing fine in Kuala Pilah. Gather around with your relatives, sister and your Wan. Hope she's doing fine as well.

Nothing much to talk about this holiday festive. Heavy rains in KL, everyone trapped inside the house and they're keep stuffing their stomach with foods. So boring today.

Anyway, how's everything at your side? How's life treating you so far?
I heard it from insight that you're contented with your life, sad but happy at the same time.
On top, it was ok for me to hear that you're contented. Nothing more can makes me happy than hearing that you're happy yourself.

Good progression I assume?

I took my own sweet time today browsing your facebook page. I have seen some of your photos and stuff. Cute.
I really enjoyed to read all of your status, it shows how much you motivated yourself to be happy etc.
Great! I think you're half way through to your pure happiness.
Keep it going ok sweetheart. You will always have my trust. You can do it~

I think I am too lazy to write anymore.
That's from me today. I will write to you soon.

Takecare my sweet princess.
Good day.
Bye.

When Woman say this, Man say that~

2010-11-15T08:11:00.000-08:00

When woman say this :

‎"Whatever u give a woman,she's going to multiply..If u give her sperm,she'll give u a baby..If u give her house,she'll give u a home..If u give her groceries,she'll give u a meal..If u give her a smile,she'll give u her heart..She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her..So,if u give her any crap,u'll receive a ton of shit!!!"

Man will say this:

‎"whatever woman give to man, we will always enlarge it. If you give man smile, he will always treasure it. If you give man food, they will always remember you as the shelter, if you give him home, he will make to be heaven, if you give man your heart, he will give you life. If you give man a love, he will build his world around you. If you give man a lie, he will roll out and die"

Congratulations~You got 2 finally

2010-11-12T18:41:00.000-08:00

Hi There sweetheart,

Hope you're doing well.

Wow, finally you have cracked 2 deals ya? Congratulations for that. See, I told you already, nothing is impossible. Life is full with possibilities. I am really happy for you. At least you have prove to the guy who always underestimate you that you still a money making machine. There's plenty to come near future.

Just go screwed what he said to you, he don't you know you ins & outs after all. Don't bother to take it into your account.

Now you can smile back from your heart. You sincere smiling that I really need to see. Good to hear that.
Today is your weekend. Hope you will have a blast this 2 days, pamper yourself, liberty yourself.
Go for swimming, hot chocolates or something.

My weekend's almost up. Tomorrow is working day. Another week in MarcusEvans.

You take a good care of yourself there. Be happy, sincere to yourself, to your heart and you shall be rewarded.

Have a nice weekend sweetheart.

Bye

Sad, Please Go Away~

2010-11-12T02:54:00.000-08:00

Hello there. I hope you still there.

What is sad? Sad is when you're experiences the unfortunate event, unhappiness, showing sorrow or deplorable.
At this time, yes I am sad. I am sad with everything that has occur in my life.

I don't understand why the need for being sad? but it has happened to me.
Maybe I am thinking too much about everything. It feels like I am carry the world on my shoulder. Every single things i take into my account. This is not what I am looking for in life; to be sad. This is the last on my list.

But I can't afford not to be sad. Yes of course. How would it be if I push away my sadness and move on like nothing happen? I will be human-less, heartless. I am human being. I am absorb everything I see, I hear or I feel.
I have feeling. I have emotion.

I always succeeded making people around me happy, but the fact is, I am not. I keep hurting myself again and again. I have promised to be happy and treat myself in a good way.
All I want is to be happy.

I know no one gives a shit when you're sad. No one does. They tend to be closer only when you're happy, cheerful but when you're sad, How many people will come to you and calm you down with their wisdom tales, words etc?
Maybe there is people who care but how many of them?

After all this while, I am sheltering myself from being sad or hurt, or even making people sad or hurt them. I am avoiding all that just because I want to be happy and to see them happy as well.

My wish is not that big, My task is almost over. I will go away when you're really be contented and happy with yourself ins and outs. With or without me.

As far as I concerned, the tunnel exit is appear bit by bit each day. The exit door's nearby.
My task is almost over.

Letter to F part 3

2010-11-10T07:35:00.000-08:00

Hello there,

I never expected you talked that much because I always imagine you are the silent one but today it prove am wrong.
I am glad to have the conversations with you despite of having lots of mosquitoes biting you everywhere.

Pity you when I heard the story but I always believe you will be strong and will go through this mess with style and attitude. The key is confront not comfort. You will go through it with style.

Glad seeing you today. Glad to help to save your RM500 tonight. hehehe
Please be happy. I need you not to give a fuck what other people say about your works, life etc because they don't know shit about you. You are far more better than them. You will have my trust.

Do whatever it necessary to prove that they are wrong about you. You will have your last laugh.
Please stay ok, I want to stay here not because I love the job, company or else but I have found my happiness here.
After so long, finally I am happy coming for work (ok~corny words)

Anything please let me know if you need shoulder to cry on, Im not trying to be nice since I am not a nice person but at least, I want to try.

Takecare princess.
You can do it~

Letter to Myself

2010-11-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

Hello Shez,

This is me writing for myself. I have been through a lot of things in life.
There's lot of things I wanted in life. To have better life, surrounded by a good friends and families. I have it all. I have good family that always supporting me in everything,I have good friends who always been there for me. I am really not a type that easy to satisfy, there's still lot of room for improvement.

Lately, I am bother with the presence of someone, someone that I barely known. Someone that I don't give a damn before. Suddenly appears in my life and giving me feeling of I am in mess and restless.

Sigh~ this is me; writing my blog using my manager's pc in MarcusEvans Kuala Lumpur.

Letter to F part 2~

2010-11-05T02:31:00.000-07:00

Hello there dear.

I hope everything is great at your side.
Thanks for the smiles and waving at me yesterday. I was so happy to see you in that condition. You're contented.

As for my side, I'd promised myself to try my best to cheer you up when you're down, to be the best person who will always be there for you when needed. I don't know what makes me keep doing it because I rarely have this kind of feeling especially with someone I barely know, but you, you managed to break the barrier that I have put up for myself effortlessly. You don't even do anything to me.I am wide open defenseless.

Your best friend mention to me ask me to step up the gear and go for it. I was skeptical about this. Unsure but I wanted to.
We never know if we never try right?

You with your smile, you with your way of style. I am kinda like it so much. I am happy yet terrify.

I can't believed it after all this while, I am keep searching for someone in life, someone that manage to give me some kind of feeling and actually that someone was only next door. I keep found someone that was wrong for my life. Wrong person on the right time, that the key of successful failure in relationship and life. Right time to involve in relationship but with the wrong person. Person that were not even meant for you.

As for you, I also don't know if you're meant for me ( I really don't know)
but you are the first who able to give me this kind of feeling.And I can't believe the person was you. I barely know you, I always saw you walk in walkway with you friends, talking, laughing. I really don't even give a damn about it not until recently. Something awakes me.. Something about you.

So I hope I will have my shot to makes you happy. I love to see you happy. I love to see you contented with your life.

Take your time. No forcing.
I can't force the thing I can't force. I will not control thing I can't even control. Hope to talk with you soon.

Be good sweetheart. Be happy.

Bye.

Letter to F~

2010-11-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

Hello there.

I wish I can say it easily as easy as I'm writing it. I rarely wish for something that impossible in life like having you by my side but I realize, I will never know if I never try.

Seeing you for the past 2-3 weeks in sad makes me feel worst. I don't like you to be sad for the rest of my day everyday. I wanted you to be happy in life. All the surprises I have made for you, I'd really wish it can make you happy.

To be honest with you, actually I've trapped myself in this situation. I try not to fall, all I want is for you to be happy, all I want is to be able to make you happy. I keep saying this to myself; "please don't fall for her" everyday, every time. Obviously I have failed. A big time. My kindness has betrayed me. I am clueless at times.

To see you happy. To see you smile like a little kid enough to make me feel that all my actions' appreciated.
Despite not be able to talking to each other, despite not having quality conversation, or an outing with you, you have made my day.

I don't want this to happen but I can't control it. I can't control it no matter how hard I try. Yet again, I have failed.
I try to ignore all the feeling i have inside, having the emotion to be with someone, the feeling want and wanted, love and be loved. I have gone trough several failure in relationships before. I know the pain very well. I persuade myself not to set my foot again into relationship.

I am not plan for this, this is not the thing I want when I signed up but I am trapped between my kindness, sincerity & feeling toward you was a very beautiful mistake I ever make in life. Thank you for that. I really love it.

All I want is to swept away the pain you have inside, wanted you to be happy person, better person. A colorful butterfly .
I might be turned down by you; that's the risk for this feeling. Nothing is secure on this. You have your own life, I have mine. basically we're two different peoples from two different world.

I am getting to know you bit by bit~getting insight of everything. having this kind of feeling is pretty much discomfort me. Restless, I am in mess.
But after last week, I rationalized everything, getting things in organize, put a big pictures. It gave me an idea~ I love this feeling. I love the people who gave me this feeling.

I just need some clue, I need some sign so I can further this feeling or should I walkout from this. This is really weird, I can count with my fingers how many time I see you in a day. How many times we have a quality conversation. How on earth I can fall that easily but one wise girl said; God works in a mystery ways~ for sure.

So this is me writing about my feeling toward you. I don't want to force it, push it, rush it, fasten it or else.
At first I know you, I really scared to talk to you. Now I am able to talk to you, I really scared that I will fall for you, Now I fall for you, I really scared that I will lose you.

Thank you so much for this.
This is Letter for F~

bye.

Note for 30th October 2010

2010-10-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

No notes for today~ Im on my holiday~

The act of kindness~

2010-10-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

The act of kindness. The act to help the others to make their life happier. Nothing more that that.
Just one person try to make the life of another person's better but life can be so tricky when you trapped yourself between your kindness and your feeling.

This is a real life case study.

I really hated to see people sad, unhappy with the recent event due to breaking up, broken hearted and discomfort of feeling. I really hate that. Wise man said, sometimes, it take only one people to make things better. I try to prove the word by doing it.
It works. Surprises and surprises coming at her door. She's getting happier each days~
The intention was from friend to another friend.

I rephrase it again; Life can be so tricky and its getting harder when you already trapped between the kindness and feeling inside.
I don't like this but at the same time; I love the fact that i like her~hehehe~

Note for 25th October 2010

2010-10-25T08:15:00.001-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Let people say, they don't know the truth

2) Be calm when look for lift's button

3) Nasi lemak in NZ damn suck

4) Let me remind me again, don't play dart with money

Note for 24th October 2010

2010-10-24T08:36:00.001-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Never drive fast in federal highway. It's dangerous.

2) Lady beside you will puke if you play drive fast games with others

3) Share a drink with someone who had flu will make u have the same sickness

Note for 23rd October 2010

2010-10-23T19:43:00.001-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Barbican Strawberry, mehdy chicken, chicken kebab are superbs

2) Thank god there's 4square. I don't want to bump with storyteller

3) Friend will always be there when needed

4)Ipoh white coffee's suck~

Note for 22nd October 2010

2010-10-22T05:39:00.001-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Never trust rumor, it will give you headache

2) Someone i like suddenly disappear

3) Don't go out in rainy day. It will make your cloth go wet

4) Oldies songs will make u sad

Some People

2010-10-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

Life can be like roller coster though~ sometimes you will have a easy life today and shit next day, gloomy the next day and happy the next 2 days.

No one can predict life. No one has been so far.
Life as the sales person is never easy. Having a fast pace life, kpi's based is suck. Having only two things in mind~to close contract and get paid. I never think that I will end up doing sales~Well this is not what I expected to do in life but so far, I am satisfy with the piece of work I have done.

Get stress everyday, get sick of not having enough sleep, restless mind, dying soul. Your life is tie with your job. I found my 2nd family here and my work as my 2nd home for me. I spent at least 9-10 hours per day in the office. I see the same faces everyday. A lovely peoples. Lovely yet ruthless.

The sound of bell ring is the sweetest thing in here. The more it ring, the prosperity you will be. We claps, we chants, we cheer for each other. We face a rivalry inside and outside. We always compete but yet in harmony. Some people talk so loud until you can hear it from miles, some people whisper until you can't hear it right. Some people talks slowly until you feel tired to listen and some people talks so fast until you can't catch up.

Some people can easily get mad and fight with the operators, some people ask politely but still can't get through. Some people use the intelligent to get through and some people bluff too. Some people be frank and some keep it inside.

Some people put a fish, even a tortoise as a gong for themselves. Some people write inspiring words, some people keep it plain. Some people prefer the desk messy and some people keep it neat.

Some people talking and laugh, some people faking it. Some people be serious on phone and some people be friendly. Some people slam the phone and some people end the conversation nicely. Some people be dodgy, some be straight, some be ruthless and some be good guy.

Having these kind of peoples inside one room creating a fun+ enjoyable atmosphere. It will never get boring and getting excited everyday

these "some peoples" is the key of who I am right now.
Thanks for it.

Note for 21st October 2010

2010-10-21T07:23:00.001-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Playing dart can bring lots of money

2) Trust the event, it will pay you back. Have some faith

3) Peri Starter is too much for a starter~

4) Hippo & Cow is totally different animal

Note for 20th October 2010

2010-10-21T06:40:00.001-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Think outside the box (Thanks arvind)

2) A simple act can make a lot of differences. Glad you're happy with "that"

3) Don't mess with lady with the swing mood. She will scold you

4) Try to generating and think positive.

Note for 19th October 2010

2010-10-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

NOTE FOR TODAY:
1) Never use the road that show one way street sign

2) NZX is a dodgy place

3) Just act cool if someone uninvited come and chill with you

4) Need to wash my car. Now more look a like garbage truck~

I'm an Idiot

2010-09-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

Talking about to love someone, talking about taking someone's life into your life, someone's heart into yours. Maybe word make it look easy but it never easy itself.

To justify, to adjust, to synchronize the life, on how it can be perfectly mesh together. It never been easy.
2 different people, 2 separated lives will be altered to be one. Expect the argument, disagreement but the feeling ; lovely.

Love is really a crazy thing. Never fail to make an idiot out of us especially myself. To fall under idiot case in this category is something that i really looking forward to.

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. That the words that am holding until now, the one that been taught by my father and a father before him.

TBC~

life is better with happiness.

2010-09-15T06:21:00.000-07:00

I guess, it's been a while i am not writing anything on my blog.
I am too busy with my life, restructure- reconstruct and reboot everything. I am too busy to find myself, to catch back the glimpse of my own shadow, to pickup everything i left, to complete my missing puzzle.

So far, i have my job, not really the perfect one but enough to make everyone happy. I have my circle of friends, good surrounding and excellent environment. I am happy, at least enough to "whoosh" away my sadness and worries.

So many things i've learn. New faces, mentalities, perspectives and stories. Stories of lives. Each of everyone i've met, the stories that enough to motivated me that my life is not so bad after all. Enough to remind me to be thanked to god.

I'd still have my family that supported me. Everything that happened before, opened my eyes into the new dimension on who i am, what am i, and why i am here. I became more wiser to think, to speak. I can see thing more clearer than before.

I've learned that life ; on how the important of knowing your boundaries, knowing your limit, knowing you friends. Each of these will lead you to a different path of lives. Once before i always chose my wrong. I don't want to repeat the same mistake; ever again.

God is great, praise to god's above.

For the past 1 year, i have learned so many new things in life. It make me think that in life, sometimes we have to take time off to see life's better. We have to be in the middle. Be hard on yourself just will bring harm to life and be to lay back it just make our life miserable. Be in the middle. Be balance. Don't move around the world but let world move around you. Let things surround you.

Each of every people i've known has changed. Time flies. I am glad that almost everyone is making a good progress in life, making a good fortune for themselves. It's always a good feeling to see everyone is moving forward. I love each of everyone of them.

And what about myself?
I pursuit everything that lead to my happiness. I've make a good fortune myself and not bad after all. But money is not the priority in life, happiness is matter for me. Until now, i still in run; looking for my happiness, i am looking for the one in life. The one who holding the key. The one that can unlocked and cast the despair.

I wish sometimes life can be that easy. You can undo, redo, copy and paste; even to close and quit and restart all over again.
But god work in the mystery way. No man knows. No one knows and will never know.

Enough to tell you that i am happy.
I am happy.

How about you?

Letting all of you go is the hardest part - part 2

2010-04-29T13:39:00.000-07:00

seriously this time around, i've been trying hard to pick up all the things i left behind and suddenly yesterday i realized, i've been missing from their life was about almost a year.

I look around and see how things shifted. All of sudden, i feel really sad.

All my lovely persons who i cherish the most, nora, fatin, reef, alya, alyn, qila almost on top of the phase of their mid-teen life. Having a career in sight, a priority to spread wings, be more edgy on education, more abroad. Makes me feel, how fast the time flies.

A mix feeling lingered. All of them are my proud peoples. I really proud when it show, every each of them growing fast and develop into a blooming butterflies. Learnt a lot, able to speak of each mind, giving perception, opinions.

My role has finished as lecturer. I almost to see the end-result for my work. How i mold them to be them not me. My unexpectedly found happiness.

Next 5 to 6 years maybe im not only the proud lecturer, but as a proud brother, a proud uncle.

but still, letting them go is the hardest part.

life is life, i have mine and so theirs. I have no right to stop them from growing.

I wish you all the best in everything u do, u will do.

I remembered once, a man say to me regards this.

"yesterday was history, tomorrow is a future, but today is gift. That's why we called it Present"

i'll cherish every moment with them, even-though i know, deep inside, someday, somehow, i have to let them go..

Youhuuuu.Knock Knock

2010-04-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

Its always been funny when you're looking back what you have done to your life. Especially when you're in relationship before and your girlfriend always said to you that you're the only one and he's just a friend. And the best part is you always believed it. Why? When i looked it back on the recent event, on how i made myself look like a stupid person who has no brain and can't think properly, it never failed to make me smiles.

It's because it shows how stupid you are, it shows how love can make you blinded and it really shows that something is wrong. And it proven right but when i look closely in detail of every aspect, it really shown the true color of the relationship itself. A combined color of two people who think they're in love.

He's just a friend, he's just a friend. A lame excuse that has been used since how long i don't know. But as for me, it is really worth a while for me after all this time i fought for my stand. Finally i am right. Finally i can be bold of my fight and move on with the head high. You're the loser not me. All the accusation has turned right and it made me satisfied and happy for the way i am , for the decision i has made and for all the fight i have been through.

I laughed , jump of joy and feel free because justice has been done and i am not the culprit. Both has found the match and it was so perfect, like a rainbow after the rain. A perfect picture for a so unperfect but yet certainly in love.

As for myself, i will be myself, proud to be who i am now, even-though i am not the best person, I'm a bastard, a fucker oneself, and the best part, i dated a bitch. No string attach and it was so pleasant and a warm nice feeling.

Despite they think they can laugh at me but in fact, I'm the one who laugh. A dispute already settle, i was about to fly high and god still love me. -Amin

To the person it may concern, mybe you thing this is for you but yet it not. but it prove that it's yourself i addresses to. Because only you know yourself and that's why this is a freaking mad entry.

hahaha, let me take a last laugh and i do it for you.

Best part in my life, has been so far. I Date A B.I.T.C.H

To the peoples i love: 174

2010-04-13T07:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to express my sorry to all of you. I was really regret on what has happen on recent event. I know it tough for you girls to give in the forgiveness and you do what's best for you. I was never mad at you girls of anything that you have done, think or even will do when i write this entry.

The fact is i do missed you girls. I know many things has happened and i know that i can control the situation but i didn't. I was too blind to see and too dumb to think, i was in cloud nine and everything was right on her for me but the real situation is i was been fool, make fool of myself and everyone. I realized it but i didn't do anything. That's make me sad.

I do misses you girls, i do think about you girls but sometimes, i tend to do it secretly in order to love her that certainly she never love me. Many things happen on the recent events that i need to tell but i can't. I was ashamed of myself and to all of you. I throw you girls out instantly and now i realize, the biggest mistake i have made is not by going out from her life, but going out from your life.

so right now, i will not expect for me to be forgiven but somehow, i was hoping, i was never there, never exist in you girls' life. So i won't feel guilty and shame like this.

out of word, the only words i can think and coming straight from my heart;

Im sorry.

Note to Heaven: Mashy

2010-04-07T07:09:00.000-07:00

Hey there. I know there's no way in this world you can hear or read what i was about to write for u. How are you there? hopefully you is doing fine. I know you will always smiling no matter what's happen. I know you very well. I know you better.

Just want to let you know that im not happy with everything happen to me. Since you left me, i thought all the love you give is totally enough for me to go on strong but i was wrong dear.

From the day you went away until today, my heart is barely heal, i was injured inside, always be the one who picking up the broken heart. I want you to know that i really missed you, i do. Every single day, i was hoping you will coming back. i want to relived our childhood days and i want to be with you

i miss you so much. i know you wont coming back

takecare mashy

to H: i feel..

2010-04-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

It feels like yesterday the last time i held your hand, it feels like it just a minute ago, i smell the scent of your hair, it feel like just now you're in my arm, i warp around you but i feel like forever when you've decide to walk away and leave me. It takes forever for me to mend my broken heart. People come, people go, but u remain in my heart; still.

It feel like it was an hour ago we talked on the phone, laughed and gently speak. Those sweet words lingering and i feel like only a moment ago u kissed me and say i love you but now, it takes forever to live and regret.

It feel like 2 days ago you smiled and winked at me, it feel like 5 minutes ago you say i miss you but now, it takes me forever long to hear it once more but it just took me a while and i realized, i dated a bitch

That's why you go H, the way i know.

2010-04-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

Baby want you tell me why there is sadness in your eyes
I don't wanna say goodbye to you
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

You're the one who set it up
Now you're the one to make it stop
I'm the one who's feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

I won't forget the way you're kissing
The feelings so strong were lasting for so long
But I'm not the man your heart is missing
That's why you go away I know

You were never satisfied no matter how I tried
Now you wanna say goodbye to me
Love is one big illusion I should try to forget
But there is something left in my head

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere
Don't know which way to go
There is so much to say now between us
There ain't so much for you
There ain't so much for me anymore

How to mend the broken heart?

2010-04-04T08:27:00.001-07:00

Heartbreak is a very strange distress. It is exquisitely painful, and yet we cannot find an injury on our body. It is like one big emotional pain but it also seems to spark off hundreds of other emotions. We hate the feeling of heartbreak, and yet we find ourselves compelled to go over and over memories, ideas or fantasies which make the feeling worse. What is going on?

I can remember a relationship that ended after two years. Emotionally it fizzled out, so neither I nor my ex felt heartbroken. However, directly afterwards I had another relationship that lasted only four months but completely wrecked me because I had believed I would be with that girl forever. She used to talk about marriage, and at the time she probably meant it. I created a future

in my imagination where we were a happy couple with a passionate romance and an exciting social life. I thought about what our kids might look like. All this thinking and fantasizing built up a strong network of neural pathways in my brain. As far as my nervous system was concerned, I was already married to her. When I found out she was two-timing me, in an instant my dreams and ideas seemed ridiculous. Added to all my lovely future fantasies was a huge negative feeling: Cancelled. The meaning of the pictures in my head flipped. All I could see was her in bed with another guy and think what a fool I had been. As I lay awake going over and over why this had happened, I was reinforcing how sad I felt and what a loser I must be. I felt terrible, and then even worse because I didn't know if the feeling would ever end.

One day I said to myself, “This is ridiculous! I've got to stop!” But the thoughts wouldn't stop. I didn't want to think about her, but I couldn't help it. I realized that I wasn't in charge of my own brain. I was powerless while it buzzed away. This was one of the experiences that led me eventually into writing this book. I wanted to get my mind on my side, instead of having it keep me awake at night.

When an important love relationship ends, a range of different responses is triggered. We feel loss and pain. Our normal ways of thinking about the world are disrupted. Our balance is upset, and our feelings change from one minute to the next. We pine for our ex-lover, then we are overwhelmed with anger at them. One minute we are desperate to see them, the next we can't bear to have anyone mention their name. This volatility and confusion add to the misery.

Heartbreak is caused by the end of a relationship. It can also be caused when we fail to get a relationship we fervently desire. It can even happen slowly when we realize that we are in a relationship from which all the love has gone. However it happens, after the shock, it takes some time for reality to sink in. Then we experience a welter of feelings. We can be angry, sad, devastated, despairing, distraught, desperate, remorseful, regretful, ashamed, embarrassed. The emotional bombardment is overwhelming.

In the long term, we have a natural way of dealing with these feelings. We have an emotional mechanism that allows us to recover from losses and from pain. If we didn't have it, the whole world would be in mourning forever! Bereavement, parting and suffering are unavoidable parts of our life experience. The natural way we recover is by grieving.

How grief heals

Grieving is a specific process by which we gradually let go of our attachment to the people (or places or things or even possibilities) we have lost. Of course, in the first shock of heartbreak it is not much comfort to be told that things will improve in time. We might not be ready for our feelings to improve-part of us might not even have accepted what has happened yet. And even once we do accept it, it is possible to misunderstand grief. Grief happens one bit at a time. You feel bad for a while and then it stops. You feel fine, then you feel sad again, then the sadness stops. It is important to know that grief works like this, so that we are not frightened that it will carry on forever. It won't. It will stop. But while it does happen, it is important to our recovery.

You see, we experience only as much sadness as is necessary for our feelings to adjust as far as they can at any one time, then the feeling stops. When we have become used to that amount of change and loss, the unconscious lets us feel a bit more, and so on, until we have fully absorbed the whole significance of the loss. By the same token, when grief does stop, there is no need to feel guilty that we didn't care enough. Some people have told me they feel guilty about feeling all right so soon after a loss, and I have to tell them not to worry, and reassure them that they are simply being well looked after by their unconscious mind.

This process of grief can be divided into four stages. The first, denial, is where we try to reject what has happened. In the second, we accept it, but still feel angry about it. In the third stage we acknowledge our sadness, and when we reach the fourth we have accepted our loss and are able to look back and enjoy the happy memories we have.

The trouble with heartbreak, however, is that the natural process of grief does not always work properly. People can get stuck, repeating the same painful feelings over and over again. I first understood why this happened when I was working with a woman whose second husband had left her for a younger woman. Her first husband had died. As we worked together she told me, in a hesitant and ashamed tone of voice, that it had been easier to recover from being widowed than it was to recover from being left. When her first husband died her world was changed forever, but his love for her, and hers for him, was not questioned. It was an extremely painful loss, but an absolute one.

When her second husband left, it called into question the love they had had together, and the fact that he was still living in the same town made it all the more difficult for her to forget him and move on. It is these sorts of questions about the past and the future that can make heartbreak so painful and complicated.

None of us can avoid feeling some pain and sadness at the end of a relationship we cared about-as we will see, a certain amount is even necessary. But this book is dedicated to helping you avoid the unnecessary repetition of pain and distress. It helps you change the way you think and feel about the past and the future by working with your fundamental systems of thought and feeling. Better still, as you make these changes and understand them, you prepare yourself for a richer and stronger relationship in the future.

My extended family : ME4,ME6,ME8 etc

2010-04-03T08:02:00.000-07:00

My Extended Family.

How long must i run?

2010-04-03T07:56:00.000-07:00

It has been too long since last i wrote a real entry for myself.

I try to find the strength and guts inside me to write this time. There's a hole, a big one inside me that i cannot filled with anything. I was pretended after all this while that i am ok with everything that happen around me. I miss everything that i ever did before. I try to walk away and not to think of it but i can't. No matter how i try, it will be back and haunted me. Guess the hole was really big.

Everyday, i've been searching for something that can make me happy but i totally wrong. The more i search for it, it will brush me off. I need you, i really do but you don't need me. So what can i do?

The best solution is keep running.

Running till i dried.

Look What Have You Done

2010-03-26T07:51:00.000-07:00

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Rah Rah ma ma ma roma roma gaga olalala

2010-03-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

Last sunday, i went to Redbox signature Pavilion Kl with 2 delicates angel, a friends of mine, Mardya & Shahirah.. Been tricked by them easily laa..instead of movies, they changed it to karaoke..damn! easily sucked!

Someone's Heart

2009-08-26T21:49:00.001-07:00

sounds never heard, words never spoken, eyes that never see, feeling never felt, someone's heart forever melts,

love never returned, passion never givin, pleasure never shown, something someone's heart will never know,

tears always felt, pain always known, sorrow that never goes away, for someone's heart that knows it very well, someone's heart is broken, someone's heart is never missed, someone's heart will mend,

someone's heart will never love again, someone's heart will never trust again and want to love, someone's heart never felt and my heart forever melts.

Sorrow's Bane

2009-08-26T21:46:00.000-07:00

Love is the one thing
That keeps our spirits whole
When Sorrow comes a knocking
With hurts that touch our soul

When our world falls around us
Darkness fills our dreams
It’s love that lifts our spirits
Bridging Sorrow's streams

Love calls us from the brink
Of being swallowed by the stream
Dispels depression
And warms us in it’s gleam

Love helps us through the horror
Of love lost or led astray
Through mans trespass
Or angels spirit them away

Love comes to give us comfort
And wipe away the tears
Love will shield our spirits
When Sorrow's shadow nears

Love’s light whisper
Will stifle Sorrow's gain
In life’s losses
Love is Sorrow’s bane

F.U.C.K

2009-08-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

feeling sour today, another night turned dawn, another day passed me by..i'd really piss off today, am mad the fact i just dont know what i want in life actually. Am getting blur, my brain's getting faded, my motive seems unclear and my mind speaks uncertain things. Thing i really don't want to know.

fuck

alone again naturally and never alone actually

2009-08-03T23:59:00.000-07:00

In little while from now, if i'm not feeling any less sour, i'm promised myself to treat myself and visit a nearby tower and climbing to the top, will throw myself off in an effort to make it clear to who ever what it's like when you're shattered.

left standing in the lurch, at fort where peoples are saying " My god he's tough, he stood her up"
no point in us remaining. May as well go home as i did on my own, alone again naturally.

to think that only yesterday, i was cheerful, bright and great, looking foward to but who wouldn't do the role i was about to play.

but as if to knock me down,reality came around and without so much as a mere touch cut me into little pieces, leaving me to doubt all about god and his mercy for if he's really does exist and why he desert me in the hour of need? i truly am indeed and i'm alone again naturally

it seem to me that are more hearts broken in the world thant can't be mended, left unattended, what do we do? what do will i do?

now looking back over the years,and what ever else that appears, i remember i cried when she went died never wishing to cried the tears and at twenty-six years old, my god, rest her soul
couldnt understand, why the only girl i had ever love had been taken leaving me the heart to start, so badly broken despite encouragement from others, no word that ever spoken and when she passed away, i cried and cried, alone agin naturally

but now thing has change, my broken heart mend again, i meet the face i wanted to be until the time i will taken away, her tenderly touch melt me down, she repaired me back and turned me into someone who i really missed; myself.

she casted me away from my pretendenesses, my alter-egoistic, my sadness, my cloud-never-sunny-days. now i never alone actually

now my heart been attended, leaving the unattended, the sunny, bright and great comes, prosperous and joyous arrives, carrying me to the top, and am promise myself to treat myself again, to visit the nearby tower, but not throw off myslef but to scream top of my long
"i never alone actually" i never alone actually...

while am stand in lurch, someone steps and stood beside me, holding my hand taken me away, walk hand in hand, and patiently and honestly watching the role i was about to play and vanished the pain of remembering that no one woulnt do the role i wanted to do before.

now im coming home, coming back to myself, and this time, i never alone, i never alone actually. as if i did it by my own and there's she , always be there, encouragement, the exicitement, stood by me, told me that she's will always be there, to carrying me home when am get weak, put a smile while am smiless, give me strenght to go on while the hope is running die.

now i see, i never alone actually...

now i know, i never alone actually

she had taken away the hatred, the enraged, the fears, the phobic the anger, and turned into something smoothen and mild,

i never alone actually

i love u halida

Nothing.Zero. Nil

2009-07-28T01:24:00.000-07:00

buat masa ni, tak ada untuk ditulis, untuk diceritakn, untuk diberitahu, blog reader, sorry no more entry for the moment, my entire system will be shut momentarily,

sorry for everything, sorry for the fault, the mistake, the words that might offended u, sorry for the post,

will reboot and blog will be like before until further notice

thnk you: shah al zefflee rosli

Demam, pergi jauh lah cepat..

2009-07-27T00:32:00.000-07:00

Its been a boring day.Am wondering around ampang and endup at my office, doing this thingy, writing my blog..

Ahh, why am so missing u ney barbie? U demam ni i rasa cm u lain, cm berubah sket, i dont know ehy, mybe sbb sakit and xlarat kot or mybe it just my imaginations... tu lah, da erbiasa almost everyday with u, skali xjumpa dah cm hapa da pikir..hehehehehe

sorry, i tak tau nk tulis pepe..sbnr otak kt u, mata jer kt blog ni..

Yasmin Ahmad: The Big Loss

2009-07-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a gloomy day of my life, Yasmin was passed away, meet her creator, Allah, the one. It was a big loss for Malaysia, where we're losing one hell of talented person.
I had done my distinguished time with her while am served for LB for a few months,
Her mentality, passionation about this industry, her visions, missions has no limit,
She has a one god's gift where she able to see the future result, the outcoming of anything she do, and when she do her thing, she will give 101% of herself to it, and the result, was brilliant.

The loss was big for me, the gap she left for us its hard to replace, So long Yasmin, you has served your time in this world, hope you will doing fine there, Amin

Sabar Ya

2009-07-20T03:14:00.000-07:00

To all my sargents yg amik financial, here my advice,
dun go stress out ya, i really feel sorry for u, but dont let ur self downlow like that, i really sad to see you guys like that,

I always stand by ur side..

Me versus You againts the world

2009-07-20T03:09:00.000-07:00

You like pink while am adoring brown
You love subway while am eating shihlin
You want kyros while am craving the conny dog
You were home while am at the hospital
You were feeling worry bout me while am worried bout u
you always say this and i say that
you say right i say left,
you were right handed, am lefty
you're white am black,
u say farmtown while am say mafia wars
but when u say i love you, i say i love u too

To My Special Someone

2009-07-20T02:58:00.001-07:00

There is something special bout u that makes me melt, there's something bout u that makes me adore, makes me believes that the gap are been filled. U're making your own marks in my life that lead me to happy paradise, i wish the day was never ended when am with you, i long your laugh, ur smile, ur sulking faces, i love it when u makes ur face, i love when u started to laugh while am embracing u in my arms.

A gift, a god's creation awarded to me, a long waits has its reward. I've got you. I still remember how i was against the public affections, but there is time when am finally shows my love to you, am holding your face really close to mine, i whispers my words to you, telling how speacial you are to me, how much i need you, how big your meant to me.

I admit sometimes, im not at my best behavior, always makes u sad, but on top of that, it will never changed the way i looked at u, it never change how i feel for you. What a relationship means without any fight, right?

A fight with you was never a enjoyous moment but it tells me something, every fights will lead to more knowledgement bout u, the real u, we became more cyrstal clear between each other, we try to breaks the barrier upon us, even if it takes long hard work to take down the barrier, we will do it together.

A simple word from you means a lot to me,

143,yes i do

xoxo

To All My Sargents

2009-07-20T02:50:00.000-07:00

First of all, i would like to wish you goodluck for ur next coming exam,Best wishes for ur general Shah. hehehehe

do your best, prove that u deserved to get better marks at ur lecturers, mybe this is my last semester at Miim, my contract might not be continue and stuff, so i might not be able to see u as much as before.

To all my sargent, past & present, best wishes from me

Congratz to my sargents for the successfull event

m174 sargets: Nora, Alyn, Fatin, Reef, Alyya
m174(2) sargents: Yati, Dale, Linda, Ain
m344 / s132 sargents: atong, jack, zet,nana,ali,danial,fitri,nabil,haris,jufri,afif,zaza,mira,eza,iza,lyd

Watching movie or making movies?

2009-07-07T02:55:00.000-07:00

Seriously both of it surely fun. hehehehe

confession of a broken heart

2009-06-14T07:59:00.000-07:00

Hello, this is me again writing down my confessions.

Am write down my feeling on what i've feel lately. Seriously sometimes, i don't even recognised myself, i didn't fed my soul, my feelings, my needs, and my wants very well. I tend to get confuse easily nowdays. Sigh! i just dont understand what has gotten in me now. I am messed up, disorganised, and full with hangover.

Everytime i woke up in the morning, its feels like i've got nothing, nothing important for me to cheer up my day, walking laid, lagging in every sense of myself. The only thing that cheer me up because i'd still got my family and sargents around me.

I have nothing methaporaly, my life not as good as before, an imaginary salary and lifestyle that's getting fade each day. Love one? ah another story, yawing!, to bored to tell, nothing special except for i liking someone but am too afraid to tell, to weak to show and to proud to say it. Cut it short, i don't have any gut or courages anymore. I left drained.

Every single day, am grinning myself in the mirror, a fake smiles, pretend like i am the happiest man throughtout 25 billions human being in the world. Always keep saying to myself
" am good, am great, am happy today" but the fact, am nothing.

But the good things of being nothing is i have nothing to worry to, i have no alibi, no liability, i am hakunamatata, everyday is a fake-wonderful day. Sad and phatetic isnt it?

Talk about am liking someone, yes, currently am adoring someone that i really dont know whether she will adore me back, am trying hard to let go my past, my memories, am trying to let go the burden am holding for a years, a presence of absenity of someone's shadow. Am chasing a familiar shadow begs for 5 seconds to say the thing i should say long long time ago. A hold word for someone who in love, a lulaby, a songbirds, a nice fine tune of melody, ahhh... but its too late, logically, there is no way i can say it even in my dreams,

Dream are fake, a fake hapiness, a temporary light that eased the sadness but when i woke up, thel ight began to shattered, break into dusts, dissappear onto thin air. Poor, a happiness i asked whn i closed, but a long term sadness when it opens.

But life must go on, no matter how hard the life is, i choose to be in this way, i choose the path of being broken heart, i shoudn't complaints. But now, came along the new shadow, a presence of someone that i think should just enough for me to get rid all the burden, the guilty feeling. For a some reason, i seem there is a chnce to throw all the memories away, far far away to the center of the world, vacummed by the hole and dissappear forever, then came a light, a slyhp of an angel that will lead me to this fantasy of for-how-long-this-happiness-will-stay-island.

I dont ask much, only a glimps of love, a smiles of someone that i will bring it into my life, into my sleeps that finally can make me feels home, a shelter whn im in needed, someone that stay with me through thick and thin, while rainning ran dry, she will be there, to put my feet back on the ground, someone can motivate me to be far more better thn yesterday, someone that shout while there is no longer wills inside, someone that can push me while am at the virtue of giving up, it sound too much, but all of these happen to be in just one simple glimps of love.

I am asking myself again, why should i falling in love if the love am looking for wasnt there for too long? why falling if am not too sure whether the love i have found can fit the gap perfectly. I answered to myself that all of this, are something that i, she, we can amend, something adjustable, looking for perfect love only will lead me to not-so perfect love. Love's not something perfect, love are imperfect but we are the one who manage to create the perfection out of love.

If we looking for something that share the common, thn love will be there not for long, love is whn someone who lived and led of 2 differences, that nothing in common we share except for both of us are looking to fall in love. Love is where 2 different peoples make a sacrifice of each other wills, egoistic, and perception to become one,after all the adjustment, the amendment, we finally can see each other as one, every random act will reflect and deflect in each other lives, we able to sees, feels, and think as one.

If u ask me whether i look for a perfect love? i would say, am not looking for a perfect love nor imperfect but what i've been serching after all these years is a life. I want to share my life and taking a bit of her and bring into mine and vise versa. That is love to me.

If you feel and think you are the one who able to fed me, i will be waiting for u..

So this is me again, writing down my confession-shez

sy rindu kamoo

2009-06-13T08:16:00.001-07:00

knp sy ada rasa rindu hari ni?

waktu sy menulis entry ni, sy sedang megalami migrain yg paling teruk tp sy tak mmpu untuk tido, ubat dah immune disebabkn slalu mkn..Ya allah tolong la alihkn sakit ni sebentar..

sy rasa sy rindu seseorang arini, sy asyik teringat dkt dia, hati sy berdebar2, sy tak dpt berfikir dgn btul, sume fikiran sy tertumpu kepada si dia.

Adakah ini namanya angau?sy rasa tidak, sbb sy png mengalami sakit angau dlu, dah perasaan dia berlainan dari yg ini..

angau pun tak, sy tak tau knp sy mempunyai satu hormon yg berubah2 dlm minggu ni?
Sy tnya balik kpd diri sy, knp msti sy rindu kpd dia yg tiada? adakah dia rindu sy?

adakah tuhan dah smpaikn pesanan sy kpd si dia? knp susah untuk sy mengalah, melupakan si dia? knp msti sy teringt kpd si dia setiap masa? sedangkn sy ada peluang untuk merindu si dia yg lain..knp msti sy pilih untuk trus rindu kpd dia sedangkn dia sememangnya xkn kembali?

Sy ada yg lain untuk dirindu tp si dia yg bru mungkin xrindu sy, kami tak memulakn apa2, tiada sebab untuk dia rindu sy.

adakah sy dah gila?

something better left unsaid

2009-06-13T05:10:00.001-07:00

i really dont know and understnd my feeling right now, its something bugging me,
its about my financial.....................................................

something dat can kill me

Rasa Hati

2009-06-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

sy tak tau kenapa harini, sy rasa lain gler dgn sargent2 sy yg lain..the way the looked at me its feels like they burn me with their eyes.

Sy pun tak tau if sy ada wat salah pepe pun..but there is a possibility kot if sy ada wat slh dgn dorg sume, i dont know, we get to close sumtimes, and mybe cara saya berckpke ada menyakitkn hati dorg sume but sy a bit terasa la bler sy tgk theway the look at me bkn cara dorg lihat sy mcm biasa..

xpela, mybe pasal event kot, or mybe pasal benda lain but benda2 ni sume wat sy tkut la, nk ckp pepe, nk wat pepe, im afraid to hurt sumone, i cant afford to make sumone sad anymore..

sy tak tau apa yg sy nk wat, nk diamkn diri or pretend cm tiada pepe yg berlaku ke or should i just go away..

tah la, tak tau lah, but sy mmg terasa hati sket arini..

Harini sume org badan berbau printer!

2009-06-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

hahahah, harini, sy dan 3 org sargent kesygan sy (nora,fatin n reef) telah kuar mencari tempat untuk print tshirt..nk ke pudu katanya..

so smpai ktorg park keta kt pudu plaza, memasing cm diam sbb td kena ceramah sket pasal lagging time.hehehe (sorry, xde niat untuk tegur, sy tegur sbb sy care pasal korg)

ktorg dah mcm peserta amazing race dah pergi ke satu tmpat ke satu tempat, terlanggak2, mcm rusa masuk kmpung..

rasanya if jauh jalan ktorg tu boleh dikira ikut garisan lurus, rasanya ktorg berjalan cm, dari giant setiawangsa ke jj aeon au2 ulang alik 2 kali...

last2 bler hmpir nk putus asa, ktorg jumpe lah apek sorg ni menjadi penyelamat..

"lu pegi sana ahh, itu lu nmpk ka tiga q sana?itu aaaa, sana sana...lu pegi sana, cali kidai nama one stop.sana diaolang buat itu baju ooo"

sy dan reef pun berjalan la ke sana. Nora dan fatin tgu di kedai yg memula..penat agaknya

ktorg smpai kt kedai tu thn mulakn niat ktorg td.so setelah hbis kelentong uncle philip tu, so misi agaknya berjaya kot...

so kepada sume student event & risk management, jgn putus asa, sy akn tolong korg sedaya mana yg sy mampu..

korg boleh buat, sy mmg yakin korg boleh.sy yakin 101% korg boleh buat..so keep up the good work.jgn give up...

Oh Em Ji Oh Em Ji Oh Em Ji

2009-06-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

Oh Em Ji Oh Em Ji Oh Em Ji (omg,omg,omg)

arini dgr satu berita yg cam happy dari salah sorg sargent kesayangan sy..

5 peoples you meet in heaven

2009-06-09T04:53:00.000-07:00

Aqilah once asked me whether i already read 5 people u meet in heaven by Mitch Albom.Yes i did it b4, but that was long long time ago

here's quotations taken from the novel:

"All the people you meet here have one thing to teach you." Eddie was skeptical. His fists stayed clenched. "What?" he said. "That there are no random acts. That we are all connected.

That you can no more separate one life from another than you can separate a breeze from the wind."

"Fairness doesn't govern life and death. For if it did, no good man would ever die young."

"It is because the spirit knows deep down that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just take someone, it misses someone else. And in that small distance, lives are changed."

"One withers, another grows."

"Each affects the other and the other affects the next, and the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one."

"Strangers," the Blue Man said,"are just family you have yet to come to know."

"No life is a waste," the Blue Man said. "The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking we are alone."

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped."

"That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays."

I really love the fourth person eddie met in heaven, his wife:

It is never easy to deal with the loss of a loved one, and nearly impossible to cope with the premature death of a spouse. Although life is finite, love is eternal. Marguerite explains to Eddie that even after a loved one dies, the feeling of love lives on. In the absence of a physical connection, another emotion grows stronger than before: memory. As they dance together at their own wedding they share a final embrace, until Marguerite disappears and Eddie is once again left alone.

Ya Allah! samanya dgn mimpi aku...aduhhhh

Kinda cool for a young lady to read this kind of reading mterial.Yes thanks qila for reminding me of what i've already forget.

5 people i want to meet in heaven

1) Muhammad bin Abdullah

2) Rosli Enjah

3) Alimah Abd Hamid

4) Mashitah Danessya

5) And you (people who read this)

Littlest Dream

2009-06-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I find myself sitting back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissing
And I remember when you started calling me your Mr
All the play fighting
All the flirtatious disses
I’d tell you sad stories about my childhood
I dunno why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We’d spend the whole weekend
Lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy to see you in my boxers and my t-shirt

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

Drinkin’ tea in bed, watchin’ DVD’s
When you discovered all my dirty, grotty magazines
I’d take you out shopping
And all we’d buy is trainers
As if we ever needed anything to entertain us
The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could that tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you’d make that face you do
There’s no-one in the world who could replace you

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That thing’s are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

Dream of You and Me

2009-06-08T06:16:00.000-07:00

Mlm td sy tersedar dari tido, terjaga dari lena, tersentak oleh mimpi sy yg amat menakutkn. Sy lihat waktu tu jam 3 pagi. Bak kata org, mimpi tu mainan tido. Sy termangu sebentar, sy lihat kiri, lihat kanan, sy buka tingkap lihat langit. sedikit bintang yg muncul malam tu. Sy masih lagi membisu, gagal untuk melelapkn mata kembali, sy nyalakn rokok, hembuskn asap ke udara, sy leka melihat asap2 rokok tu terapung sedangkn pada hakikatnya sy sedang membunuh diri sy.

Sy terfikir pasal mimpi td, sy masih lagi dgn rokok dimulut, sy kecilkn volume aircond, terlalu sejuk, ruang bilik semakin sejuk takala pagi, sy masih lagi tak dapat berfikir dgn waras, masih mamai dan termangu

Sy lihat handphone, tiada sapa yg msg ataupun call sy, masih lagi dgn tingkap yg terbuka luas, sy lihat kembali langit, sy leka melihat bintang walaupun jumlah yg sedikit tp bintang2 xpernah gagal menemani sy diwaktu pagi. Sebatang rokok lg dinyalakn, disulami dgn tegukn air suam yg sedia ada dimeja. Sy termenung jauh.Sy xfaham apakah maksud mimpi td, apa yg sebenarnya yg hendak diberitahu? Sy keliru, takut nk memikirknnya.

Sy cuba tenangkn fikiran, lagu dari mp3 sy mainkn, tp itu pun gagal untuk menenangkn perasaan sy, hati sy berubah menjadi bermacam2 rasa, perasaan sy bercampur2, terdapat peluh2 sejuk walaupun cuaca pagi xpanas, itu tandanya diri sy xtenang, otak makin berkecamuk.

Sy keliru!

Kenapa sy bermimpikn mashy yg datang dgn senyuman tetapi dia berpimpin tgn dgn seseorang yg sy tak kenali.Dia melambai2 kepada sy tanpa sebarang kata. Senyuman yg dilemparkan tanpa sebarang kata, melambai seperti menyuruh sy dtg kepadanya tetapi dia berpimpin dgn yg lain.

Adakah itu tandanya yg dia gembira? atau apakah yg dia cuba smpaikan? atau juga mashy memberitahu bhw sudah smpai masanya untuk sy juga pergi kepadanya?

dan kenapa selepas dia tersenyum, melambai2kn tgnya dan dia pergi berlalu?

" kau hancurkn aku dgn sikapmu, tak sedarkah kau telah menyakiti ku, lelah hati ini menyakinkn mu, cinta ini..membunuhku"

Terus sy tersedar dan sehingga kini sy masih tertanya2, apakah maksud sebenar mimpi itu?

Jika benar masa sy akn tiba, sy ingin minta maaf dgn org2 yg sy kenal jika sy ada buat salah, terkasar bahasa, tersilap kata, tingkah laku,

dan jika maksudnya yg dia sedang gembira, sy gembira untuk awk disini

"tak kn pernah hbis, air mataku, bila ku ingt ttg dirimu, mungkin hanya kau yg tahu, mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri..Adakah disana kau rindu padaku? mski kita kini ada didunia berbeza, bila masih mungkin waktu ku putar, kan ku tnggu dirimu.Biarlah ku simpan, smpai akhir aku kn ada disana, tenang lah dirimu, dlm kedamaian, ingtlah cintaku, kau tak terlihat lagi, namun cintamu abadi..."

Letting you all go is the hardest thing i will faced

2009-06-07T07:34:00.000-07:00

Harini, sy tak tau mcm mana nk ceritakn or cernakn perasaan sy.Jrg sy rasa a pure hapiness mcmni, eventhough org2 yg ada disekeliling sy tu boleh sy ckp memula stranger to me, sy xkenalkn mereka sume but setelah mengajar, jumpa, kuar, dan mula kenal hati budi memasing, sy rasa mungkin ada sebab knp tuhan gerakn hati sy untuk terima kerja untuk mengajar kt miim..

Sy rasa mcm proud parent, a happy brother and fren arini, sy tgk mereka semua dgn perangai masing2, dgn cerita masing2, dgn gaya dan keriangan sume, meraka ni sume dah isi satu ruang kosong dlm hati sy.

Percaya x if sy ckp, sy rasa touching sket masa sy tulis entry ni, sy tak tau kenapa sbb sy tau apa yg saya rasa dan lihat ni xkekal, sbb dorg makin membesar, xselamanya mcm tu, mybe lg 4-5 tahun nti, nora,reef,allya,sara,emma,lynn,qila,adila,mira,mas,ecah,wawa,widae,pelly,angah,farid,mel,ahtong,bobo,alyn sume akn berubah, dorg akn ada jalan hidup dorg sume, membesar, berkeluarga..

letting them go is the hardest thing i will faced in the future, sy akn rasa susah untuk melepaskn dorg pergi, sy dah syg dorg sume..

sy xdpt nk truskn entry sy sbb sy tak tau apa yg sy rasa nti dan sy tkut bler masa tu akn smpai.

Dari Setiawangsa Ke Kuala Selangor

2009-06-07T06:41:00.000-07:00

Oh Em Ji, Oh Em Ji!

Harini sy ada wedding invitation dkt Kuala Selangor (tah btul tah dorg invite tah) Student Miim Kwin, walaupun sy xmengajar wahidah tp sy ttp pegi atas dasar kenal muke jer.. So sy pickup penumpang setia sy, Nora, Allya, Reef, dan Sarah untuk pegi ke sana,

Actually ktorg g konvoi dgn satu keta lg,Ahtong, Alyn, Bobo timberlake dan halleda yg sememangnya sy xkenal tp dia super comel..

So ktrog bertolak dari setiawangsa dlm kul 10 lebih, perjalanan menggunakan jalan lama mmg memenatkn bile byk sgt pokok kelapa sawit dan reef xhbis2 dgn ceramah ladang Sime Darby dia. Allya plak teruja bler dgr kuantan. (Kg Kuantan la allya, bkn kuantan, tido lagi, kan dah smpai korea!)

So perjalanan yg memenatkn tp ok la sbb jarang jgk dpt lalu jalan kmpung ni..., nutiing much thn bumped dgn nana masa on the way.

So masa ktorg smpai, alyn dah mula wat malu2 babi dia bler nmpk myra,kekasih hati, bkn main besar lagi lubang hidung nmpk gf..cewahh sy pun cmtu jgk kot!

ktorg smpai kt Ibu Pejabat Polis Daerah Kuala Selangor, sy, ahtong & Bobo Timberlake saja dajal nk jalan kt gerbang tu, kekonon cm vip ar..podahhh la bobo!

Mcm biasa la if pg kenduri kwin ni, mkn la cite utama dia, Wawa lawa gler, Mas pun sama, Mel pun sama tp sume dah ada bf la plak..cis!

Muka yg sy kenal kt sana: Nora, Reef, Allya, sarah, Nana, Wawa, Mel, Mas, Pelly, Angah, Farid,Amad, Aqilah, Adila, Emma, Lynn,Ecah, Amin yg ada masa tu

mkn,mkn,mkn dan mkn! thn bob timberlake mula cucuk lain ngorat mak wawa dlu..siap dah ber"mak-mak" plak! aduh!

Mkn,mkn,mkn dan mkn, thn dah petang, mcm biasa la, pekara utama slain mkn adalah mengutuk..Pakcik dj tu mmg hebat, dari ktorg smpai, smpai ke pukul 3 lebih, dia non stop menyanyi lagu hindustan..adoyai, rasa nk grip jer pakcik tuh!

Pakcik tu dah lupa ni majlis sapa, dia wat cm annual dinner plak dtg meja ke meja tp pkcik tu mmg sporting..

Pastu sy kena serang dgn mak Aqilah tnya pasal kolej, aduh aunty, jgn ler serang cmtu, gugur jntung sy...

Petang menjelang, pas potong kek, majal sy mula melanda bler pkcik penyanyi dtg kt saya g nyanyi lak ajak join! adoi..nk xnk kena la sporting..layan jer la pkcik tu siap suruh nyanyi plak, org tua tu nk kena sekeh ni!

thn kul 5 ktorg kuar dari kuala selangor with a one happy moment...

To widae, Selamat Pengantin Baru and last but not least, oh pkcik Dj, kau sungguh mengelikan hati!

My Revealing Shirt! SHEZ : SH (shah) E(al) Z(zefflee) = S H E Z

2009-06-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

We Call Out (Up) For A Team NOW!

2009-06-01T21:57:00.001-07:00

Siapakah S?

2009-05-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

Harini, ada sorg ni ym sy nama allya tnya siapa S kt sy. dah byk kali dia tnya tp sy masih lagi refuse untuk jawab.

Kesian awk allya sbb sume kwn2 awk tau awk sorg jer yg lmbt.xde siapa2 lah S tu, kwn2 awk yg lain sj jer mengenakn sy..

Okies here we go

S tu prempuan, kenal xsengaja memula ingt xkenal skali rupe2nyer dkt jer org dia, niat nk mengorat trus terputus sbb tkut terkantoi tp dah kntoi pun dgn kwn2 awk yg lain

mata dia bulat, ada tahi lalat kt dagu, org dia simple jer, biasa2 la, xlawa sgt, xburuk sgt, cute, simple, but a bubbly personality.

jarang bercakap walaupun slalu nmpk mybe sbb sy malu kot (sy ni seorang pemalu dan juga tak tau malu)

So skng ni reef n nora gunakn S sebagai senjata untuk sy kena ikut ckp dorg.hhahahah padahal xde benda pun, pokok bergoyang bkn sbb angin alya, tp sbb ada monyet tgh pnjat pokok tu

hehehehehe, so puas hati? awk cari la sapa S tu

Sarah, Sakeenah, Sonia, Shuzzy, Siti, Shazlina, Shazleen. Sherry, Shizuka, Sofiya, Saidatul, Safiya, Suzana, Sudin, Salehuddin, Shah..ada byk s ni, pilih jer

Apa nk kata?

2009-05-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

apa yer nk tulis arini?sbnrnya da lama xupdate blog ni...xtau nk tulis per sbb kebelakangan ni, serabut sket...hehehehehe

Selipar baru

2009-05-30T20:51:00.000-07:00

Sy xsangka dah lepas hari jadi pun sy still dapat satu hadiah lagi: Selipar adidas. padahal sebenarnya xde niat pun nk mintk, saja memain jer dgn adik2 sy ni..saja menyakat dorg dan rasanya dorg pun dah tau dah perangai sy ni mcm mana

aritu. sy xde roadtax tapi sbb sy xsanggup nk hmpakn permintaan dorg ni so sy pun pegi la bwk dorg g uptown, bkn per, it just its a part of me wnted to be happy and seeing them makes me happy.

so dipendekn cerita, ada la 2 org umat ni hilang nk bli air katanya.. tetau masa nk blik, dorg kasi sy selipar ni, warna merah hitam..walaupun sy ni penh ckp yg sy xkn paki sebarang pepe brand from adidas tp disebabkn benda ni a thoughtful gift so sy pkai dgn rasa gembira selipar tu..setakat ni selipar adidas tu dah ikut sy pergi ke hartamas, damansara, setiawangsa, clinic dkt damansara, plaza mont.kiara dan ke majlis kwin kwn sy.

so thnks untuk reef, nora, allya, emma sbb ikut g uptown and kepada yg belikn sy selipar tu,

thnks so much

yg benar;

Shah Al Zefflee Rosli

I want to see u again

2009-05-26T00:15:00.001-07:00

Pictures & more fun peoples! Part 3

2009-05-25T23:37:00.000-07:00

Pictures & more fun peoples! Part 2

2009-05-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

Pictures & more fun peoples!

2009-05-25T21:32:00.000-07:00

Redbox: Waktu malam yg sgt sumbang!sakit telinga aku...

2009-05-24T23:23:00.000-07:00

Last saturday, ktorg ada pegi Redbox untuk karaoke session ktorg.rasa cm dah lama gler x g sumbangkn suara, rosak kan anak tekak dan mengedik mcm org giler.. (padahal seminggu 2 kali pegi setiap bulan) so these pictures are the result proven that pegi karaoke ni boleh wat org jadi xbetul!

p/s: walaupun pics ni sume nmpk cm ktorg normal, tp sbnrnya tak..sume ni sume tgh sawan..especially yg pakai baju belangs..

How Well You Know Me?

2009-05-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

ni saya..penat scan ngn touchup bg cute...

My entry this time is try to get as much bloggers that knows me to drop some comments on how well they all know me, as friend, lecturer, foes etc. This entry particulary is good for self-improvement, development for the future use.

Do comment about what they hate about me, what they like about me, Shah Al Zefflee in their perspective enthier it good or bad & do describe me in one word and why you describe me like that?

1) What do you HATE about me?

2) What do you LIKE about me?

3) Myself in your perspective:

4) Myself in ONE word

5) and WHY?

All the comments are much appreciated.

Thank You

Shah Al Zefflee Rosli

See you when i see you again (i hope so) Part 2

2009-05-13T06:34:00.000-07:00

Oh damn! Rahman was had his eyes on me. He snaped me out of it by saying outloud! Ladies & gentlemen, we had two dovey here fooling around.Oh shoot! He pointed his finger to me and her. He asked both of us to stand up. Others started to laugh at us. He was saying that, why should i using a secret gesture while i can have her sit beside me?

Damn, damn, that my turning point, am pissed off but she was keep calming then he asked us to sit side to side at the front row of the class. Arghhhh Rahman just made my day but bursting our discretly relationship.

the next day, it was saturday. Hot sunny day, we had our tuition session at Martin (where else) again. This time around, all my friends was started to mock me up, saying now i am romeo and i already found my juliet. They mocks me up every minute. She kept her steadiness by not doing anything pretend that nothing happen. She told me to calm down, and why must i feel ashamed with the relationship, she told me again that their time will come and soon they will understand my situation. I've learnt something on that day that, we can't avoid the fact that love is a human need, and a unique one. All human being's fall in love someday, and when the time comes, they will know how it feels.

She was so kind, i respect her highly maturity and understanding. Her thought, her charming. She was a complete package to me and a good one too. and at that moment, yes, i proud to have her, and spontaneously i whisper something in her ear; hey, i love you, i do"

I finished my lesson that day by holding her hand. It was my first time thou. My palm was sweating, so do her, for the first time, i keep the relationship visible to the world. All of my firends was laughing.

I still remember the 1st words they said to me when they saw me walked hand in hand with her "ohh mat jiwang, jiwang karat la ko.oi mat bunga! but with the strength, with the gut i have, and her as my courage, i focused on keep them silent. I closed my ears from any sound of jerking, cheering and mocking. I successed and i felt really damn good.

2002

I've learnt everything from her. She keep me inspired while am down, she have a deeper understanding and ability to keep me go forward while at the moment i feel i wanted to giving up. Since i was a young boy, since i was in kindergarten, i was with her, my mama and her ibu said that we sticked like glue. Imagined having someone from kindergarten, then sit in the same class from primary to secondary and until at my peak of teenager period.

It was a happiest moment for me, a good one to remember, oh god! thank to created her for me. I said it to myself. she has turned me to a happy person, make me full of sense of humor and i thanked her for that.

My memories was snapped out off it by sudden. My phone ringing again. "oh yes ibu, im on my way there, another 5 mins"

I entering the hospital area, i parked myy car, and ran off to the lobby area. "miss, can u tell me where's patient name Mashitah was admitted?"

"Ward 3, level 2" Im running like it was a last day of my life. I reached level 2. I open the door, there she was, laying in her bed, paled. I sat down beside her. I kissed her cheek, hold her hand, she was cold, but managed to put a smile for me. I was worried bout her, she wasnt in good condition but she's keep smiling like nothing happen with her. I said, "hey babe, i dtg ni, td ibu ada call ckp u sakit balik, ibu on the way dtg sini, lmbat sikit sbb nk amik papa u, dia suruh i dtg dlu."

At that moment, my heart was beating real fast, there is something i wanted to say to her. I hold her hand firmly, and said, "syg, there is something..." she crossed me said " Elly, i penat la, nk tido.." so i let her be. "Tido la syg"

I sat down, and fall asleep..............................................................................................................

2009

6 years has passed me by, she left me unready. Leaving me alone, empty and sad. I thought i have found my happiness but sadly i don't

she left me with a note in my phone, and what's left for me, it just a memory. Life was never be the same without her.

I love you mashy, i love you so much, i do. See you when i see you again sayang

Wait for me.

See you when i see you again (i hope so)

2009-05-13T03:21:00.000-07:00

With her i learnt so many things in life, we share joys, lauhgters and smiles. Walk hand in hand, watched the flower blooms, the sun set but that was before. I still can smell her warm sensual perfume lingers around me.

the phone ring, keep ringing awaken me from my beauty sleep. I received one phone call that shocked my life, i quickly ran to the toilet and get ready. I am in rush.

Clock ticking and it was 2.30 in the morning. I grabbed my green hoody, my car key and slip on my shoes. No time for laid, i must hurry..time are against me. Drove my car as fast as i can, i pushing my car to the limit.

While im on my way, my mind flown away.bring back to my happiest days of my life.

1999.

It was the day, for the first time in my life, i have to admitted myself that i already fall in love. "Hey elly, don't you ever deny that u don't love me" she said to me. I laugh myself but inside, i was so shame, i was so happy, am blooming like a black rose waiting to be cut and reveal. Still i keep laughing and pray that she won't ask me again. but she did asked me again but this time in the serious manner. I look at her sulking face. the face i known since i was born. She pointed her finger, address me to answer her question.

Oraite, oraite, ok, i do like u, i do, what do you expect? i known for for such a long time and techically we will stuck like glue. Ok ok, yeah " I love you". for the first ever, i spills everything, at this tender age, we used to think that it was a puppy love. A temporary, unsolid and easy to break

"See, i told you..i know you do, hehehe". I still remember her evil cheeky little laugh, i was so shame, i was blushing and afraid at the same time. I am afraid the others will laugh at me, i am a rugby player for the institutional, and of course, my life surrounded by men, a evil from Mars, that's what she said before.

i keep the relationship discreetly from my other friends, I am man, i know how it feels when we saw a man mellowish for a girl and we tend to say bad things bout that. For instance "hey mat jiwang la kau ni" that the words that i cant bare to listen.

The bell rings, school session ended. "hey, see you at Martin after this yeah." i said to her. We go separate ways. I am heading to ampang while she lived nearby the school area.

Martin, the tuition center but for us, that wasthe place for us to meet others from other school areas. I and my friends was craving to see girls from BBGS, ST. Mary, Puterijaya. Martin was like a lucky pot. People fall in love, had their crush and acted cool there.

I picked the seat, last row, signing her to seat at the same row with me but on the different section. In here, i learnt the secret sign of hand gesture. How to say i love you, lets go eat together after this, we take the last bus ride home yeah.. it sound silly but we are human, never able to avoid from this sillynesses disease.

While am performing the silly hand gesture signing to her, am unaware that someone was watching me behind. Oh damn...

To Be Cont...

Teaser 2 Reveal!

2009-05-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

Teaser concept for Philea Resort & Spa Melaka

Ambient 2 Reveals!

2009-05-06T00:16:00.000-07:00

Ambient unit (Bus Stand) for Philea Resort & Spa

Ambient Reveal!

2009-05-05T23:30:00.000-07:00

External Ambient concept for Philea Resort & Spa Melaka.

Teasers Reveal!

2009-05-05T18:56:00.000-07:00

Teasers design for Philea Resort & Spa Melaka

We Are Marshall

2009-05-05T10:02:00.000-07:00

This is the true event on what happen in Marshall University Football Team.

November 14, 1970, On a rainy hill side in Wayne County, West Virginia, the lives of 75 people were lost in the worst single air tragedy in NCAA sports history. Among the losses were nearly the entire Marshall University football team, coaches, flight crew, numerous fans, and supporters. The event marked a boundary by which an entire community would forever measure time... before or after "The Crash". This site is a memorial to the lives that were lost on that evening; to honor those men and women who made a mark in the hearts of a school, a community and a nation.

6 players, 6 sons of Marshall, 6 teamates, 6 friends lost their lives due to this epic tragedy of plane crash included their coaches, common peoples

A year later, Jack Langley has been appointed to be their new head coach and responsible to reform new Marshall team. While many peoples are still grieving, Jack efforts has been ignored by many by saying to found new team will disgrace the deads.

Dedman, the sporting director never turn his hope off and believe Jack can bring the team back together but the NCAA regulations wont allowed any freshman to play as therule stated the team in competitions must be a sophormore, senior student. The NCAA has turned down the application to allow freshman to play. Marshall are running out of time, the clock ticking.

Jack said to Dedman: I believe u are married sir? Yes 25 years happily dedman replied. Jack continue as he said that he believes that dedman don't porpose his wife over phone, or even in the letter.

Dedman drove over to Kansas in the rainy night to see the NCAA director for himself has he's got approved. The NCAA has make acceptions to allow freshman of Marshall to play for the season. while other team age average is 22 years 1 month, the Marshall was recorded 17 years 8 month team average.

The legend has begin. They lost more games than any universities on that year, but in 1984, they have won more thn they lose. They has won 5 bowl championships, 8 seasons championship and 2 state champions.

From ashes the rose, They are Marshall. The young thundering herd!

What i am trying to tell you is what is most important things in life is the determinations, the believe of yourself, the believe that you can succeded in anything u do no matter what people say bout it. Keep believing youself.

If we fails, its not forever we will be, maybe not today, maybe not tommorow, maybe not this month or this year but when the day comes, We will be a better person. I cry for the Marshall

Not because of the sadness but the inspires they has given to me. The determination, the believe of who i am and what i capable to do. Never give up on whatever we working on no matter how hard it was. Under that code, i have create the better of me, i have my confident to be anything that i want to be even it was not on my expertise.

The story has tought me that whatever we want to do, never turn back, never think that you'll never succeded, you will fails yourself and bring shame to yourself.

eventhough i am not form Ohio's Marshall but they are closed to me, they are remain inside me, from them, i have learnt so many things. The joy, the tears of live, the hapiness, the sadness and sorrow. Winning is not everything, winning is the only thing. Kepp that to yourself and trust me. Someday you'll amaze how far you are pushing yourself to be a better person.

Trust me because we know who we are. I know who i am, because I am Marshall and forever it will be.

We Are Marshall

mockup poster

2009-05-05T01:24:00.001-07:00

mockup poster for some event.

Tell me how much you love me.

2009-05-04T09:15:00.000-07:00

Fall in love can be painful sometimes, the agony, the ignorance, the pain,the feeling that too much to endure. Yet, we never learnt on things already happen, we always bounce for more.

As for myself, i falls many times and never give up every one of it. The warm sensational feeling when we fall in love is too sweet to ignore, too good to be true, Always, i felt like i am flying, flying to nowhere, flying to my paradise where she will wait for me.

People can be blinded by love, we tend to do anything, remeber wise man said; love is powerful and dangerous mental disease. We been blind folded by it. A really evil but yet we want for more. Loves make people go crazy to do anything for the one we love, we forget who we are, we forget our surroundings, we forget what people will say bout us.

We walk hand in hand, stroll in the park, we had butterflies everyway, the heat of sun we ignored. For people who in love, money, works are nothing. All we want is to be with her. This people created their own world, where they had 25 hours a day, 8 days a week, clock ticking 70 seconds per minute, 70 minutes per hour. We tend to be protective, we tend to be selfish, we tend to give up on ourself and concentrated on the love one.

Is it worthy?

Dont answer yet, look deep inside. How wonderful love would be. As for couple who go for extreme, sex for them are the symbol of greatness of love, to shows responsibility, a short term minded especially for young puppy love. Take off all cloth, get together, do naughty things, cuddling, snuggling, sexing each other. How wonderful love could be. We learn bout life more, our life not more than another korean movies.

A wonderful everlasting love but a fake one.

After all the money we spent, the time we spend, the spreading legs, the vagina, the penis, the sperm, the flowers and kisses and hugs. It still worthy?

You are losing your virginity, the guy u are losing your money. All that is just a road that lead you to your sadness. Imagine, u had twice a week. What bout another 5 days? waht do you do to ease your lust? Mastrubating? Fingering for women. Pleasure for a while, suffering forever. You will become addicted with it. Same goes with sexing, what do you get? The orgasmatic? the satisfaction? as result, you'll get 9 months pain, bummed and for a guy, you will live in living hell knowing your partner is carrying your package of you own action. Is that the love you want?

Are you big enough or financial enought to carry on the responsibility? Is it worthy for you?

Love is not something that you can prove by your action, love is something that you need to prove by your bravery mentality, minded, perspective, communication and trusty-ship. You love someone, dont just go to penetrate you penises dipping into her vagina. That not the way. if you really love someone, prove to her by be her guidance, be her best friend, consult her, advices her, trust her. People are using "ILU" as ticket to have sex. No.You're not the hustler to go dipping and out. Hustler is the poeple who love his woman as much as he loves his family.

Puppies nowday tend easily to forget famiy when they had someone. "Oh, i've been living with my parent for a long time, i think it is the moment where i should carelss bout them and give 101% of myself to you" Ohh fucking bullshit!

We forget who we are and our own origins. Where we come from? from the womb of our respectful mother, and how we've been made? by the intercourses between father and mother. Then the mother carrying you with any single sighing or nagging for 9 months, they are taking risk to lose thirself for you and this is how you said to your women? by care less bout the one who brought you to the world? And the women are tend to mellowish when they heard bout it and give herself in. " Oh, he really love me" the fact, the true feeling are only for a short while, see what happen when you give yourself in to be touch, holdinh hands at first, then had 1st cheek to cheek kisses, the start to lips and grabbing boobies, grabbing your golden triangle from outside, now beneath it & the ultimate move, the art of upside down.

what a fucking people you are if you are the one i mentioned above! I hate fuckers eventhough i am not a good person neither. I did fuck and now i dont enjoy the thing i have done before. As i grew older, my responsibility are getting bigger. My mind are getting broader, more sharper, i oftenly become shard and aware on my situations. That's why sometimes, i hate myself.

So guys out there, your women are not a toy for you to toying around. Appreciate them as much you appreciate you mum. Respect them as u respect your mother, ibu, mak, mama, mummy or whatever u called them.

so now is it worthy? Tell me now how much you love me?

The reasons why girls like bad boys

2009-05-03T08:50:00.000-07:00

Some of us call it a mis bunch of couple, odd couple, or "xsesuainya dorg tu" but that is the reality. Good guy chances to landed a girls are really thin. Not because of their neardy look, rule follower or their freppy cloths but they are plain boring!

Following reasons are the fact came from the mouth of women, I asked them personally:

Why you dont like good guy?

1) Because good guy tend to talk something that based on book. They don't have any excitement in life

2) Good guy are boring. Always follow the rules

3) Good guy cant be more funnier thn bad guys.

4) Bad guys know how to tackle a girl in the right manner

5) bad guys always have theri life experience and they careless to jealous or tend to mad at us for a silly things

So good guys outhere, pegi tgk cite grease: john travolta n olivia newton john.Jadi jahat!

selamat mencuba

How can i hide this feeling?

2009-05-02T21:08:00.001-07:00

I've been in many relationships before but every single of it ended the way i don't wnt it to be. I've been waiting for 2 years now. I wnted to end up my singlehood. Being single is fun but most of the time,i feel really lonely. It feels like am alone in this whole wide world. I've friends but i cant share my feelings deeply with them.

This is my advise for those who really like a girl but cnt tell them how much u love them or to get noticed. This is me helping you guys to have one big fantasy relationship with the one u loved.

First rules of relationship: Communicationship & Impression

Always bare in mind, women like guys who actually love to talk and know how to stop. So open up ur mounth, talking. But dont to the talking alone, sometimes u end up talking rubbish. Talk about fashion, life or your persepction on life with girls. When we're talking something that has benificials, the talking will be called commuication (something with values to share). don't be Mr.Know-At-All with girls, if there is something u dont know, let them know.Says that u are not sure bout the particular topic. Women loves her man to be honest with them.

Impression is one thing. Remember bout love at the first sight? Well that this is soo-2000-late. peole can fall in love at many sights, so why bother? Ok, this are the deals, wear something you comfortable with, dont try harder and dont get too laid back neither. Wear something that represent you. You have to show who you are, not only for the 1st date but all dates. Grooming yourself, lets get tidy and neat but avoid the neardy look. Flips some magazine will done much helped. Update yourself with the latest fashion style. Put some perfume on but never put it too much or else u will cause your partner uncomfortable with your smells. Try to find a perfume that resemble with your personality. For instance:

Dunhill Desire : Romantic personality

Polo Romance Silver: Sweet personality

Sean John : Urban type of guy

Polo Black : Kind & Gentle personality

Aramis: Mature and responsibility persona

Dont put on any of cheap perfume when go for a date or else you will be in the same scent with banglas or nepalese. Avoid that. Sometimes, it worthy to invest something on yourself.

Second rules of relationship:Inspiring and Funny

Women tend to like or fall in love with the guys who oftenly inspired her life. Be wise, talking wise. Guys out there, you must able to show your maturity and able to advise your woman in term of life, personal problem or even for the small thing. Inspiring can be ingorance sometimes, so when woman speaks, you listen. Sometimes all they wanted is for you to listen and agree with them. Use this simple rule: IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM AND BEAT THEM SOME OTHER TIME. Sometimes, we are unable to mold them for the 1s time, so we join them. then mold them from inside.Trust me! Make them feel safe knowing that your girls had you as her saviour.

Funny is one thing, if you are not funny guy, try to train yourself a little sense of humor. Women loves her man to be funny. Not sadistic funny but a wise funny man. You are not the clown to make people laughing outloud, remember, dont make a fool of yourself or looked obviously pretended funny for your girl. Be natural. Funny actually an effective ways to make woman noticed that you around. She will be missing your funny and automatically you. A powerful mind rental. "Oh i love to have him as my bf, he's so funny"

Your jokes can eased her sadness, a pain and she will keep loking for you when something happen because all she's need is a jokes from you, from the people who insipred them and makes them laugh. Women love the man who able to make them happy.

Third rules of relationship:Investment

Put yourself as business man. Invest for your profit. Dont afraid to invest into girl u like. This is the support for your effort to get a girl. A compliment, a present or thoughtful gift always been a good ways to get a girl but remember, don't invest thingthat you cant afford. It will bring damages to you back. And please dont' pampered your girl too much or else she will be spoilt brat and you finally cant afford her.

Remember, be wise with all those rules, The rules are only for the guideline, You are the main player in this games. So buckle up and enjoy the game.

AIM16: the show, the party & glass of beer

2009-05-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

Last nite, i went to see AIM for my -only-god-knows- times. i lost count how many times i went to see AIM. i arrived at PWTC early to see my brother. He got his spiritual induction there. We go for a chat while am waiting for my other 2 frens. Actually not a fren but my niece@my student and her fren; zue

This is the black tie event but yet, some of the comers are refused to wear according to the rule. But what the heck, that's their right to wear anything they wnted to wear. The girls was looking hot, with the glittering,shimmering dresses, heels and smell nice too. A same scenery just like previous years before. They are so beautiful and pretty. Oh i felt in love with everyone of them. How i wish AIM can be organised twice a month, so i can see more of these beauties.

So hazrati and her fren arrived, i go to meet them. Meet & greet. Hehehe, she did groom herself a bit but her fren.Wow..wow..wowowowow whoa, so damn cute.hehehehe

We go separate ways because we had a different tickets and seat level. I was located in VIPs rows. With an artists, Vips, media. Shazzy Falak and her husband, Nazruddin and Iman, Awal & kak lina was in the spot, a row before mine. Behind me was peoples who responsible for the artists, for the presenters. He was looking really strict.huhuhu but what the hell. Im here for the show not for the sight seeing eventhough those flashy girls are tempted to see.

The show started, and i am kinda satisfy with the show this year compared to last year AIM. Lot of improvement, especially for the speech acceptances. 30 seconds for each artist, so they can run the show in the speed they wnted too.Good job Jennifer Thompson & NTV7 for making a good improvement on that area because i don't like it overunned.

The show's over. Now i realised, i forget to bring my post party tickets. Shit. I went rushed to call my fren asked for new tickets.Shahril & Fayzrul managed to give me 3 tickets for me, zet & zue. We went for the post party, Zue asked me wheter she can take pictures with Awal. How i refuse to help this cute girl, i went to see a fren of mine and also Awal's manager. Kak lina, she was hot in green dress and still vain too..Zue got what her wnt, now its time for the party.

Went inside.Munched some foods with my 2 girls we had fun but there was my cryptonite lies inside the dance hall. A beer. I said to myself, i wnt to stop my drink habits but i cant. I go for the beer and how untoughtful i drank beer infornt of my student and also my niece. hehehehe but she's cool with it. I forgot, i go with my student,hehehe sorry Zet. Xsengaja.sedap sgt

Me and zue dance a bit but zet are refuse to dance.so we have to force her to dance but she wont.hehehehe..lantak u la zet

but overall, the show, the party and cold beer was amazing.

bila la nk berhenti minum ni..adoi

Women of my life.

2009-05-01T20:38:00.000-07:00

It's saturday and yes, i don;t have anything to do.Am bored. Sorry Nora, smlm sy xpegi pun OIAM bila mengenangkn ramai gler fanatik tomok yg dtg.hehe so apa yg sy buat ialah mkn ubt tido thn tido till my boredom gone.Sorry again

Am boring, yet another boring saturday.

This post is all about women who once came across my path with me for a while. I love some of them, i hate some of them but i appreciates them all the time no matter what already happen between us.

Someday, when the journey ends, somehow i will pass to you,i'll pass you the embrace, the joy, the unsad, faithful emotion and the warm smiles to makes your world is better living place.I promise you, i do- shez

My Exs

Shazwani (i hate u skeleton!)

Siti Mashytah ( i do love her so much, i do)

Siti Aminah@amy ( at first i think i've found the one, but i don't, we're gudfren now)

Shuzzy ( sorry, didnt mean to keep myself silents but sumtimes i have to be selfish)

Lynn ( i trust you but this is what u give to me?a betrayal?)

Azyan Lyana (you are the kindest and coolest i ever met, yes i like u)

Nora ( sorry for the 24 hours-relationship. i was drunk)

Adia ( a good sex partner (just joking) but why be so materialistic?u holy cow!)

Lisa ( I do adore you dear but france just way too far and u don't want to convert! why!why?)

Viviana ( i have no idea)

Once i've dated but never be an item

Ezween@bonnie (a good drinking partner, a good frens and a good advisor)

Adah ( happy-soon-to-be-mother-again dear)

Jaja ( well, we started too soon and ended too early, but well, i do understand)

Adni (sorry dear, i've waited to long but getting bored along the way)

Siti Norbazlin ( i do love you but why its hard for you to let go?)

Ena ( a ring giver but i don't know what else to say, u are too in control, and i don't like it)

Wafa ( u just too gud)

Fara ( don't push me ok!)

The one i still contacted and dated until today, no further feeling involved, just friends

Ella (sometimes, i think its better for u to grow up my dear!)

Rose ( im in love with your neena & neeni dear)

Ena ( a ring giver but i can predicts our future, We're NO-GO!)

Malyna ( a lovely lady and a good one too)

The one i like but i don't have any guts to tell because i am afraid we would never be friends again

Slyvia (god, u are nice girl)

Grace ( a nice non-malay gal but speak fluent malay, god i like you!)

Sukarnya menyatakan "Sy sayang Awk"

2009-04-29T07:40:00.000-07:00

Pernahkah korg sume terlintas bahawa perkataan sy sayang awk tu adalah satu perkataan yg sukar untuk korg nyatakn? Susah sgt kah untuk menyatakan 3 patah ayat tu yg mungkin akn ubah hidup korg sume?

Mengapa kita lebih mudah untuk berkata sy mintak maaf dari saya sayang awk? adakah mintk maaf atas kesalahan yg kita lakukan tu lagi senang dari nk menunjukkan yg korg syg seseorg yg penting?

Mungkin korg sanggup lihat org yg sebenarnya korg syg tu pergi berlalu tnpa mengehtahui yg sebenarnya dia tak bertepuk sebelah tgn?

As for me, yes, saying i love you to someone is far more difficult than saying please forgive me. Sometimes things xboleh dipaksa, sama juga dgn perasaan sbb if kta paksa untuk berkata "sy syg awk" bermakna kita tipu diri sendiri dan apa yg kita ckp tu tak benar.Satu kenyataan yg palsu yg mungkin akn makan diri kemudiannya.

Am writing down based on my personal experience where i did fall in love with someone but its hard for me to say the words to her. pada saya, rasa sayang tu xdpt nk ditunjukn dgn kata2. Bila kita berkata sayang, xsemestinya hati kita mengiyakan benda yg kita tunjuk or ckpkn. Tapi sebenarnya ada baiknya kita luahkan apa yg kita rasa pada org yg kita suka@sayang.Sebabnya, ini menunjukkn yg kita inginkn satu komitmen yg kukuh, as mutual understanding of relationship. Cinta tak kan berjalan lancar tanpa kata2 sayang sbb kata2 tu menunjukkn yg kta btul2 serious terhadap seseorang tu tapi itu lah yg sy alami selama ni. Betapa susahnya untuk sy katakan sy sayang awk pada seseorang

Sy jadi trauma bila ingin mengatakan 3 patah ayat tu kerana ayat tu slalunya akn berakhir dgn satu kesedihan, Sy jadi takut untuk bercinta apatah lagi untuk melafazkn kata2 syg tu. Sy rasa, sy dah xboleh bangkit untuk hidup secara berpasangan, sy jadi takut, trauma, fobia bkn kerana pasangan sy tetapi disebabkn diri sendiri. Sy dah jadi tak yakin pada diri sendiri, kehendak dan keperluan sy untuk ada pasangan sy endahkan , sy buat tak tahu tetapi pada masa yg sama, sy berperang dgn diri sendiri untuk katakan YA kepada CINTA.

Sy dah tak percaya pada cinta, sy dah tak percaya pada hidup berpasangan sbb benda ni semua adalah satu keserabutan yg teramat dahsyat untuk sy lalui sekali lagi. Semua perasaan yg ada pada saya tu dah lama sy palsukn, i even fake myself, pretend to be happy but i am not. Sy tak tau jalan mana lagi yg sy nk lalu untuk cari satu kebahagian. For me, its getting fade and fade thn dissappear.

Sebenarnya perasaan gembira tu bkn bilamasa kita ada dalam satu relationship. Perasaan gembira tu timbul dimana bila pada pertama kali kita melihat seseuatu/seseorang. Satu kuasa yg mendorong kita untuk menghasilkan satu persaan gembira yg terlebih dan wujud satu kuasa yg sy panggil keberanian dan kepercayaan pada diri sendiri yg begitu kuat untuk mendapatkn apa yg kita lihat td. Tanya pada diri sendiri, kenapa masa sebelum "kita" jadi satu item, kita tak pernah bergaduh, apa yg sy buat semuanya btul dan kenapa awk tidak mengongkong saya dlu"?

tp lihat bila 2 manusia tu dah gabungkn hati mereka menjadi satu, apa yg jadi? 70% pasangan tak pernah bertahan bila benda ini terjadi. Kongkongan, gaduh,cemburu tak bertempat, rasa tidak percaya tapi tgk bila benda ni terjadi?Hnya apabila sudah menjadi satu pasangan.

jadi jika untuk datangkan perasaan untuk percaya pada diri sendiri dan keberanian untuk mendapatkn seseorang itupun sukar untuk saya wujudkn, mampukah sy untuk melalui satu lagi perhubungan? Begitulah jadinya jika sukar untuk menyatakan "Sy sayang Awk"

jadi untuk semua, tak terlambat untuk korg nyatakan yg korg syg pada pasangan korg sume, untuk ibu bapa sementara masih ada masa

dan saya? hanya tuhan yg tahu.....

Rancangan Jahat yg Mengembirakan! Selamat Hari Jadi Kepada Saya!

2009-04-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

yg ni sume ahli keluarga saya termasuk yg tngkap gmbr ni!

RANCANGAN JAHAT YG MENGEMBIRAKAN 1

Tempat: KFC Setiawangsa (Level 2)

Org2 Jahat: Nora, Reef, Fatin, Alyn, Emma, Qila, Bobo, Iza, Miza, Danial, Nabil,Fitri,

Ketua Org Jahat: Miss Wana & Miss Fareha

Insan Teraniaya: Saya & Maya

RANCANGAN JAHAT YG MENGEMBIRAKAN2

Tempat:NZ bawah Wangsa maju

Org2 Jahat: Zet, Jack & Nana

Insan Teraniaya: Saya lagi

Berikut adalah timeline dimana satu pakatan jahat yg mengembirakan 1 berjalan:

23rd April 2009: Nora & the gangs mintk tolong sy untuk tgkn poster dorg untuk event yg akan datang. Sy setuju untuk tolong tgkn

24th April 2009: Hari kejadian. Hawa call sy pkul 12 lebih, wish happy birthday and ckp nk belanja mkn ptg nti. Sy smpai office, dia ckp yg dia nk blnja sy pas dia hbis class, sy ckp kt dia, sorry xboleh sbb nk jumpa student untuk hal event dorg. Dia pun diam jer pastu dia masuk class. Sy xde syak pepe pun.

Berikut adalah msg kronologi bersama Sarjan Pakatan Jahat yg mengembirakan ni: (Nora kata nk jumpa pkul 4.00)

Sy: Jmpe kul 4 ek?

Nora: Mr Shah jap eh. Ade mslh d saat akhir

Sy: Nk jmpe nti let me knw. sy kt parking bsement. dlm keta

Nora: Mr Shah. Dtg ali bistro bole? Sy tgu fit skali kt cni. Wawawawa

Sy: Ali Bistro?

Nora: Aha. Td ktorg kt cmr. Neh kt ali bistro. Sblh orange

Sy: Tau.2 area ofce sy

Sy pun dgn jujurnya la dtg. Skali tgk nora dok kt tembok C tuh, tah wat per tah.thn dia kata dorg kt kfc tgh sejukn bdn. Sy pun ckp oklah sbb sy tgh smoke, so nk hbiskn dlu rokok tu.Syg, membazir

Skali naik atas, sume org jerit Happy Birthday!: Jadi bodoh skejap! ya allah sukenya....dah tua2 ni bru org watkn birthday!

Berikut adalah timeline dimana satu pakatan jahat yg mengembirakan 2berjalan:

Than td kul 9pm, zet msg ckp jack nk open table blnja minum, sbb dia,zet n nana xdpt join td. So sy g jemput zet kt rumah thn g NZ, so ktorg pun lepak tp jack lmbt gler xsmpai2.so xpela, skali tgk jack dtg dgn plastic, rupenya dia g beli pizza for me. Pastu dia boleh dok menari2 kt jalan raya tu smbil nyanyi lagu happy birthday kekuat. Hahahaha LOLAVAD! Serious, sy cm tak tau nk ckp per..suke gler

so terima kasih kepada sume yg bersusah payah nk mengenakan sy dgn pakatan jahat yg mengembirakan ni. suka gler. Xsangka plak jadi cmni..huhuhuhu & thnks untuk pakatan jahat number 2 (jack,nana & zet)

Thanks so much, sorry xleh nk tunjukn how much sy suke sbb terlalu suka sgt smpai tak terkeluar thru expression..

Thnks guys, girls so much for this. Sy syg korg sume from bottom of my heart.

Bahagian miss maya sy xnk sentuh, suruh dia ceritakn sendiri....hehehehehe

Pics yg kt atas tu adalah hadiah yg sy dpt for today

from Qila: TY's Beanies Giraffe yg comel & Chocs from toblerone

From Sume: Sy dapat card yg besar gler penuh ngn signature korg sume.Thnks again.

Thnks a million years. Serious sy rasa hapiness yg korg kasi kt sy tu adalah hapiness yg sy xboleh dpt kt memana dlm dunia ni. Sy xperlukan hadiah sbb having you all dah ckup as hadiah for me. Thnks.